School decision help?

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Rosalie

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We’ve been dealing with secondary infertility for years and at this point have exhausted all our licit options for treatment. My husband’s not willing to foster or adopt, so please don’t suggest it. At this point, my 4yo daughter is going to be our only living child or, if a miracle happens, there will be a large age gap.

Would you homeschool an only child? That was our plan when we thought we were going to have 3-5 kids, but it doesn’t feel right for me to keep her at home to be alone with me for most of the day except for 2 hours of an extracurricular activity or park meet-up. There’s a Catholic co-op, but it only meets once a week. Even if we did sports or other activities every day, which sounds exhausting and would be expensive, she’d still be alone with me for most of the day and she’s very social and always wants to be around other kids. In normal times we had a pretty full schedule of activities but she was still asking for more and more trips to the park (even though everyone 2.5yo and up was in preschool) and playdates. Our parish doesn’t have a school and we can’t afford out of parish tuition at the nearby Catholic school, so we’d be sending her to the public school. It’s an excellent school system but in a very progressive area. I feel like public school is the best option with the most opportunity for her, but I have my worries about it.
 
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My mother had 2 sons three years apart then me eight years later when she was 39. They tried for years for a third child but didn’t think it was medically possible. A 10 year and 8 year gap between me and my two brothers. Miracles do happen!
 
I would suggest that you speak to the out of parish school if you haven’t already done so. There are sometimes breaks given to Catholic members of a nearby parish that has no school. There is financial aid available too. You won’t know what is possible until you inquire.

I don’t know if you rent or own, but would it be possible to move to the area that the school is in?
 
Have you asked your priest about subsidies? Our parish pays subsidies for kids that want to go to the Catholic high school. ( It’s not I our parish.)
 
We’re actually Eastern Orthodox so we would get no discount whatsoever and would need to pay the full $12k for non Catholics. I called and they don’t give any aid if you aren’t a practicing Catholic.
 
Are you not a practicing Catholic?

And what about moving to the other parish?

Is it possible for you to work while your child is in school? That might be a way for you to afford Catholic school too.
 
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I mean, that would be wonderful, but that’s not what I’m asking about and that doesn’t tell me what to do for school for 2021-2022.
 
I went to public school K-12 and then went to private catholic college. Honestly, there wasn’t a huge difference between the two. My public high school has been ranked top 5 (and even #1) in my state for the past decade. Public school isn’t horrible if you are in a quality district.
 
No shade on the nice person who answers the phone at the school, nor at the principal/administrator.

The nuances of Eastern Orthodoxy as it relates to Catholicism is not understood by many Catholics. I would suggest you sit down (skype, etc.) with someone from the Office of Catholic Schools at your Diocese. Explain the situation, ask if the Diocese policy disallows EO’s from receiving tuition assistance, scholarships, etc.
 
Rosalie said:
Would you homeschool an only child?
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I haven’t read the other responses. Absolutely I would. Some options:
  1. Sign up for multiple groups. If they aren’t available, create one. Some groups meet regularly for park dates and field trips.
  2. Cheap options for socialization include library activities, local Parks and Rec activities, Girl Scouts, and - depending on your state laws - selective enrollment in public school classes or sports.
  3. Online charter school. Many of these regularly convene the students.
If none of these sound appealing and the parish school doesn’t work out . . . what are your reservations about public school?
 
This coming school year, everyone might still be “homeschooling”. I totally understand your concern about keeping a child isolated at home with no other children in the house. I wonder, would you be willing to tutor another child perhaps? Presuming schools do open in the fall, there will almost certainly be parents who don’t want to send their children. Perhaps you could make an arrangement with another family that is interested in home schooling, but have two working parent? Then you have playmates for your child and some extra income! Just a suggestion.
 
If you were to do thos, check and see what the laws are about homeschooling someone else’s child. They do have rules about this 🙂 The one state I know about had a limit on the number of children.
 
That would violate our lease, unfortunately. My daughter is 4 now so I’m thinking ahead to the 2021-2022 school year.
 
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I would try calling your diocese to double check if any scholarships are available.

If you can’t afford the tuition, I would homeschool and just get her as many after school activities with other kids that you can. To me, as a catholic, I am very disturbed by how early my local public schools introduce some sensitive topics to kids. I have friends who teach in the district, and they are essentially ‘ordered’ to say things they themselves and I’d argue many parents don’t agree with.
 
I am in a similar situation and I decided NOT to homeschool. I see my DD really needs interaction with other children her age on a regular basis. In these last few months kindergarten was offering online classes; I realized that academically I could provide her a better curriculum than what is offered by the school but I was having hard time to get her to interact with other children (beside the coronavirus restrictions, she has no siblings and her cousins/our friends children are older than her or living miles away). I also realized that 24/7 without break in the role of mom AND teacher is not my piece of cake.
 
ZemD said:
I am very disturbed by how early my local public schools introduce some sensitive topics to kids
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I agree that this could be hard but where we live my dd is already exposed to sensitive topics on a daily basis. I want to guide her in understanding these topics but there is no way to hide them; we don’t live in a farm isolated on the top of a mountain. Sooner or later we have to face that this world with controversial values is the reality in which our children will grow up. Better get our children ready to face this controversial world than having them be caught by surprise later on.
 
We live in the DC area, which is pretty progressive, but we can choose to opt out of health classes as they come up. I feel the same way about being mom+teacher 24/7 (even without the teaching part, I am so burned out) and I don’t think a few hours of social interaction in the afternoon would be enough for her. Our priest and almost everyone in the parish sends their kids to public school, so I’ll have lots of people to turn to for advice. I’m just nervous about bad influences and people thinking we’re intolerant and possibly convincing her of that. And I did love the idea of giving her a tailored Christian education and going to as many liturgies as possible.
 
I think a lot of people have a pretty distorted idea of what public education in the US is really like. My father is a high school principal, my mother is a high school teacher. They are both highly educated people and very strong in their Catholic faith. My brother and sister and I all went to public schools. My brother is a doctor, my sister is a lawyer, I am a social worker. We all still practice the faith.
Rosalie said:
the full $12k for non Catholics
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It’s interesting to know that there are Catholic schools that are actually quite reasonable (albeit a significant amount for most people). The best Catholic girls’ school where I grew up now charges over $54,000 p.a. irrespective of religious affiliation.
 
The Catholic school I went to growing up is $35k, I think. Independent schools are expensive but parochial schools attached to a parish usually attempt to be reasonable. The ones here are about $8k for parishioners.
 
And to homeschool your child as well as another (or others) child(ren) at their home?

Not necessary full, time, your child is the priority, but maybe part time if one day their parent is out of house?
 
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