Screwed up my life,

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byzantium

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Im doing well in terms of the temporal world, but i really think ive screwed up my spiritual life.

I went abit AWOL after highschool, missed mass for about a year, regularly caught up in the sins of impurity, (porn, masturbation). I have been going to confession everyweek but fall back into the same sins constantly.

I think all my confessions have been sacrilegious as i have failed to change my life and repent and inadequately confessed sins… During all this time i have also received communion which would make that also sacrilegious. (Perhaps abit out of ignorance). To make it even worse i swore to god i would never commit these sins again (and failed terribly) several times.

I dont think im going to make it to heaven. I dont know what to do, ive really screwed up.
 
byzantium said:
Im doing well in terms of the temporal world, but i really think ive screwed up my spiritual life.

I went abit AWOL after highschool, missed mass for about a year, regularly caught up in the sins of impurity, (porn, masturbation). I have been going to confession everyweek but fall back into the same sins constantly.

I think all my confessions have been sacrilegious as i have failed to change my life and repent and inadequately confessed sins… During all this time i have also received communion which would make that also sacrilegious. (Perhaps abit out of ignorance). To make it even worse i swore to god i would never commit these sins again (and failed terribly) several times.

I dont think im going to make it to heaven. I dont know what to do, ive really screwed up.
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You certainly sound repentant to me.
 
I have fallen to sin just like you! In fact, the same sins.

To make your life better, go to a worthy confession – examine yourself, confess your sins, and try your best to change your life. If you fall again, it’s alright – God sees your effort.

Concerning lust, I personally find the invoking in my mind the words “Immaculate Concepcion” and “O Chaste One” to be particularly effective. Every time you look at a woman with lust think of the woman as our Lady and think for yourself: do you want to lust on our Lady? Will that not incur Divine Wrath?

Also, try taking Eucharist as often as you can (worthily, of course). Doing so makes you more conscious of your personal sins esp. mortal sins like masturbation.
  • May the Blessed Virgin assist you in all your concerns!
 
Not sure where in the bible it is, I’m sure someone will advise,
But I like the verse that says God uses the stone thrown away by the builder,
To be used as a cornerstone,
Theirs still hope for you yet, just don’t lose your faith,
 
byzantium said:
Im doing well in terms of the temporal world, but i really think ive screwed up my spiritual life.

I went abit AWOL after highschool, missed mass for about a year, regularly caught up in the sins of impurity, (porn, masturbation). I have been going to confession everyweek but fall back into the same sins constantly.

I think all my confessions have been sacrilegious as i have failed to change my life and repent and inadequately confessed sins… During all this time i have also received communion which would make that also sacrilegious. (Perhaps abit out of ignorance). To make it even worse i swore to god i would never commit these sins again (and failed terribly) several times.

I dont think im going to make it to heaven. I dont know what to do, ive really screwed up.
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I recommend reading the diary of St. Faustina. In it Jesus says that the sins of the greatest sinner that ever lived are but a drop in the ocean of His Divine Mercy…Trust the mercy of God and pray for the grace of true repentance as well as for perseverance. You will need it in turning your life around.
 
You recognize you’ve done wrong and are doing wrong, but you wish to rectify it with God. I think you’re on the right road.
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Jesus:
Two men went up into the temple to pray. one was a Pharisee, and the other was a Publican. the Pharisee stood up and prayed thus within himself: ‘oh God, I thank you that I am not like other men are; robbers, extortioners, unjust, evil-doers, adulterers.–or even as this Publican! I fast twice every week and I faithfully give tithes, one-tenth, of all that I get.’

"But the tax collector stood at a distance. he would not even lift up his eyes to look toward heaven, but he beat upon his breast and said, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’

“Then Jesus said to those around him, ‘I tell you the truth, that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted!’” (Luke 18:9-14)
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There are many threads on this forum about these issues and if you could spend some time looking through them I think yo will find many great suggestions and some support. There is also a group devoted to your problem and I suspect that might be helpful also. I will pray for you.
 
byzantium said:
Im doing well in terms of the temporal world, but i really think ive screwed up my spiritual life.

I went abit AWOL after highschool, missed mass for about a year, regularly caught up in the sins of impurity, (porn, masturbation). I have been going to confession everyweek but fall back into the same sins constantly.

I think all my confessions have been sacrilegious as i have failed to change my life and repent and inadequately confessed sins… During all this time i have also received communion which would make that also sacrilegious. (Perhaps abit out of ignorance). To make it even worse i swore to god i would never commit these sins again (and failed terribly) several times.

I dont think im going to make it to heaven. I dont know what to do, ive really screwed up.
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I HIGHLY recommend that you take a few minutes and listen to this -

DID YOU MISS GOD’S PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE?
 
phil_at_dayboro said:
Not sure where in the bible it is, I’m sure someone will advise,
But I like the verse that says God uses the stone thrown away by the builder,
To be used as a cornerstone,
Theirs still hope for you yet, just don’t lose your faith,
Click to expand...
Luke 20:17 And he beheld them, and said, What is this then that is written, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner?
 
Your confessor has never said this to you, has he, OP? Your confessor, a physician of the soul, knows the difference between unrepentance and a pernicious spiritual fault that can be defeated only by a sustained effort.

This may be news to you, but most people confess essentially the same sins, over and over, over the course of a year. We nearly always break down in the same weak places, not in some random new place each time. Even when Our Lord defeated the devil totally, “When the devil had finished every temptation, he departed from him for a time.” Luke 4:13. The tempter does not give up easily! He comes back over and over. He also tries to get you to believe the lie that it is hopeless for you to even try to defeat him. That is not true.

“For the just man falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble to ruin.” Prov. 24:16

Think about this passage, too:
*Then Peter approaching asked him, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” *Matt. 18:21-22

Now, if the Lord is telling his followers to forgive a brother essentially without end, does it not follow that we have to be willing to repent over and over, essentially without end, if that is how often we fall? It humbles us, but that is what we have to do. Do not believe the devil, then, who tries to discourage you from humbling yourself and repenting. Repent and trust in the mercy of the Lord. You will be delivered from these burdens, if you do not despair of the mercy of God
 
Dearest OP,

Your life is not screwed up. Do you know that when God looks at you, tears fill his eyes because He sees someone so beautiful and precious to Him? There is nothing that we humans can do to make God love us any less!

I’ve sinned so many times in the lust/sexual sin area. There were times that I was sure I wasn’t going to do it again but then I ended up failing. But with God’s grace I never gave up! Each time I confessed, I became a step closer toward God. With each confession my attachment to sin and worldly things weakened. Nothing we can do can make God love us less than He does. Nothing.

Keep praying, keep going to confession. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Stay close to the Lord, receive Jesus in the Eucharist. You can do this! 😉
 
byzantium said:
Im doing well in terms of the temporal world, but i really think ive screwed up my spiritual life.

I went abit AWOL after highschool, missed mass for about a year, regularly caught up in the sins of impurity, (porn, masturbation). I have been going to confession everyweek but fall back into the same sins constantly.

I think all my confessions have been sacrilegious as i have failed to change my life and repent and inadequately confessed sins… During all this time i have also received communion which would make that also sacrilegious. (Perhaps abit out of ignorance). To make it even worse i swore to god i would never commit these sins again (and failed terribly) several times.

I dont think im going to make it to heaven. I dont know what to do, ive really screwed up.
Click to expand...
So go and make a valid and heartfelt and contrite confession and make things right.
That’s why it’s called “Reconciliation”!
You’ve already made the first important step…examination of conscience.
You’ll be right, mate.
🙂
 
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