Scrupulus problem

[Emilyfromohio]

i guess I have always had the problem of being scrupulous. Every Priest I ever went to to ask to be a spiritual adviser, that I acutely trusted, said “go talk to the Pastor”. The Pastor would tell me to go talk to the other guy I already tried to talk to.

I go to confession about once a month, but alot of times If eel like I am falling short. I ask the priest if something is a sin, and sometimes he’ll say no. Apart of me wishes I could go their everyday lol

Well, last night, I guess I had a bit of a spiritual panic attack. I was snowed in, so I decided to tune into the Mass on EWTN. then I wandered if I was could wear a short sleeved shirt, under a jacket, most of my other shirts were dirty. I started to worrya bout this for ten minutes, but the mass was already playing on the tv. So, I turned it on pause, then I was afraid I was committing some other sin by turning a mass on pause, then I decided that if i wore the jacket, it would still be modest because its…a jacket lol. i prayed for guidance, and was pretty sure OI was doing the right thing, and it seemed logical enough. Then I started to wander completely random stuff like what if someone went to church commando ( )What if I woman forgot to shave that week?

I guess sometimes I feel like everything is a mortal sin. But, when I examen my coshious, or talk to people, I find its not a mortal sin. So, what is to be done with a scrupulous mind?

 

[Linda_Marie]

Try this website for help.

Scrupulous Anonymous

Praying for you to overcome your scrupulosity.

Pray the Divine Mercy prayer often: “Jesus, I Trust In You.”

When you worry about such things pray this with confidence and trust:

“Come to my aid, O God. Lord, hurry to my rescue.”
Psalm 70:1

 

[rwoehmke]

If at all possible go to confession at a different parish. Tell the priest you are very scrupulus and you need help. If he cannot or would rather not try to help would he recommend someone.

From your note, I can say that I had this very problem myself over 40 years ago. With the help of a good priest I was able to extricate myself from what I recall as a very psychologically painful way of living. I know exactly what you mean when even the simplest of acts cause you to wonder whether they are mortal sins. Don’t give up. Don’t try going it alone. Get help. God loves you and he is merciful beyond all measure. I used to think he was just poised and ready to nail me the minute I took a misstep.

 

[Kathrin]

I have the scrupulosity problem too.

Even though, I had to chuckle a bot when I read your post… it always seems like other people’s scrupulous concerns are sooooo way out of line… and only our own are really serious.

No, really, probably if anybody else had asked you if it was a sin to put a TV mass on pause, you would have said, “of course not!”, right?
Your post shows how one scrupulous thought can lead to another…

I am glad somebody suggested the Scrupulous Anonymous page, I have gotten help from that before too, especially the ten commandments for the scrupulous…

Trust God. God LOVES you. Love is something that is much bigger than all those little concerns. God looks down on you lovingly.

Kathrin

 

[MarieVeronica]

Oh, you’ve gotten some good advice here. I’ve also suffered from scrupulosity most of my life. We’re in good company… though. Apparently there were several saints who also suffered from scruples. One who comes to mind immediately… St. Therese of Lisieux (now a Doctor of the Church). She talks about it, in her autobiography “The Story of a Soul”.

Just the other day, I found myself thinking… “Did I confess my sins clearly… at my last confession? I hope Father understood what I was saying”… and on and on, like that. Believe me, I can drive myself batty thinking about it.

The advice to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy was excellent. Also, the link to Scrupulous Anonymous. I book marked that, too. (Thanks Linda Marie).

Hang in there, ok?:hug1:

 

[richardwy]

So, what is to be done with a scrupulous mind?

Submit it to the deposit of faith for to be formed aright.

That’s what I do.

Also, not speaking of you mind you since we don’t know each other, but an over rich self-regard has hampered (to say the least!) me over the decades.

Happily it has past. I’m much more taken up with the needs of others then my own lacks these days. I’m still very aware of falling short, but not with the same sense of maudlin reflection.

It’s a drag when we admit we’re not much but we’re all we think about. That’s how it was for me for too too long.

 

[Believe_85]

St. Therese of Liseux had scruples, and wrote that we should receive Communion often because scruples is a ploy that the devil uses against people who resist temptation–nothing else he does works, so he gets in our heads so to speak to convince us that we are sinning when we aren’t.

I don’t know if you ever felt this way, but when I had scruples I felt that it didn’t matter how many times I went to Confession, no amount of Pennance was enough, and certainly God would not forgive me. When I talked to my priest about it, I learned that I was acting like my sins were more powerful than God’s mercy. Of course I didn’t believe that, but it was how I was acting. The cure was practicing humility, praying that I would put full trust in our mericiful God, and receiving Communion often.

I hope you find peace

 

[Emilyfromohio]

Thanks alot guys that really helpful. I didn’t’ know so many people actually knew what the frak i am feeling lol.

You know its funny, today I was having some potato soup and I told the waiter to not put bacon in it. Of course he did lol. So, Imy dad took it and actually took out all the bacon lol. Then I thought I saw one, but he told me it wasn’t bacon, so i put it in my mouth but wasn’t sure if it was bacon, but then I thought about that 8th SA commandment about if you think your obligated or obstainf ro m doing something, you should assume the oposet true, because your first obligation si tog et rid of the scruples, so I thought i reallyw as doing the will of God. Then I ate it, and paniced a little, but then I thought to myself that it cant’ be a mrotal sin, you thought you were doing the will of God lol

So, thansk gusy,t hat helps tons

 

[Mintaka]

You did the right thing. With God’s help and good counseling, you can beat this.

 

[drafdog]

What you really need to do is address the source of the scrupulosity. For this you will need to see a competent psychotherapist. If you can address the source of the problem, you can free yourself from it. Grace builds upon nature. Prayer will have little or no effect without doing the therapy.

Matthew

 

[Matthias123]

Scruples can be caused by lack of information about ones faith, or it can be chronic which is caused by Obsessive compulsive disorder or Obsessive Compulsive Personality disorder.

From what I read I think it is probably lack of information. You need to educate yourself so you can determine on your own whether something is a sin or not.

I used to be exactly like you. I would worry about silly things that were completely unfounded. I found that once I educated my self on moral theology and I figured out how to apply it to my life, those scrupulous fears faded away because I had the knowledge to dismiss them.

Just remember when you are reading about moral theology make sure not to take everything in the most literal sense. Try to think what the intent of the person writing it is. For Example:

You are not allowed to have food or drink before receiving Holy Communion

Now the scrupulous person will be concerned about, swallowing little bits of food attached to their teeth that are still remaining there from lunch. If it is snowing a snowflake may fall on their tongue and they may think they have broken the fast. Or they may fear that their chewing gum breaks the fast.

The intention of this is to make sure you don’t eat anything like you normally would if you were eating lunch or dinner. You can’t take a bite of a hamburger; you can’t take a bite out of a piece of pizza. If you are not putting food into your mouth like you normally would then you are not breaking the fast. Remember water and medicine is allowed. You are NOT going to be sent to hell on a technicality.

That took me so long to get my head around. Also remember that you need to do thinking on your part in order to apply the teaching of the Church to your life.

Also I wish the pass on some advice that my confessor said to me. “Only YOU can tell if something is a mortal sin or not” Now this may seem odd that he wouldn’t help me discern if something is a mortal sin or not, but it was EXACTLY what I needed. He gave me permission to trust myself.

It is your responsibility to tell if something is a mortal sin, and you must TRUST YOURSELF! But more importantly you must trust in Jesus. I know it is scary but it is the only way out.

The most important thing to remember is Jesus loves you and when you are feeling scared, run down, or depressed because of your scruples, just remember Jesus is with you giving you aid.

I would recommend following the 10 commandments of the scrupulous and using the resources at scrupulous anonymous. Also you really need to find a spiritual director that is trained in handling scruples. I know you have had a hard time finding one, just keep looking. Try praying for God to help you find one.

I would also suggest praying the chaplet of divine mercy. It really helped me fight my scruples.

Also I would strongly suggest you stay out of this moral theology subsection of this forum. With all due respect to the people here, we are not experts. I am not an expert. The last thing you need is to dwell and meditate on the errors of others. (I am not trying to insult everyone)

Also there are many people here that are scrupulous and have OCD, the last thing you need right now is to be exposed to their unfounded fears. Look for your information from the “ask apologist” section or from Jimmy Akin’s web blog. (jimmyakin.org/) Also the Catechism is always a good resource (vatican.va/archive/catechism/ccc_toc.htm)

These people are experts and you can trust their information. However if you are going to read the moral theology forum, just make sure to understand that if someone in this forum says something is a sin, it doesn’t make it so.

God bless you. You are in my prayers.

 

[RLT]

Greetings Emilyfromohio,

I suffer from scrupulosity and totally understand what you’re going through so much that I could have typed your initial post.

I’m usually in a state of mild scrupules, where I will be uncomfortable about something but get over it quickly but I will occasionally run into an exteme episode where I will obsess about something until I can confess it.

I have made some improvement over the years. Common sense and trust in God have begun to supress my obsessiveness but I have a long way to go to where I can have 100% peace of mind.

Follow the advice already given about using the 10 commandments for the scrupulous and the resources at Scrupulous Anonymous
Read the news letters at SA, they contain good insight and the questions at the end are helpful.

Also I would strongly suggest you stay out of this moral theology subsection of this forum.

This is probably the best advice. I avoid the moral theology and threads titled, “Is ________a mortal sin?”, like a dark alley in a bad neighborhood.
The only reason I’m here now is because this thread appeared in a search and I didn’t notice what sub-forum it’s in…plus I have a soft spot for fellow scrupulites.