S
Shiranui117
Guest
Hello all,
I’m popping up on the Evangelization forum, wondering if there’s anyone who wouldn’t mind helping me come to terms with the struggles I’ve had as a Catholic, in the hopes of either returning to the Catholic Church, or at least having a better understanding and appreciation of it. At the risk of ruffling some feathers or making people tl;dr, here’s a bit of my background, so you have a bit of a better idea about what’s been running through my head, and what I’ve been going through:
I was confirmed in 2010 as a convert to Catholicism, but while I was in RCIA I had heard about Orthodoxy, and even then I had questions about whether or not I shouldn’t explore Orthodoxy. But I went ahead and got confirmed anyway; it was about seven months between the time I started RCIA and the time I got confirmed, and I had only been attending my local Roman Catholic parish for a year before the chrism hit my head. Within a few months of being confirmed though, I began to feel hollow or spiritually malnourished in the NO Mass, so I moved to an Eastern Catholic parish. I adjusted very quickly and felt more spiritually at home, and began to learn more about Byzantine (AKA Eastern Orthodox) spirituality, which I noticed resonated far better in my heart than what I understood of modern Latin spirituality. In my mind, modern RC spirituality had stripped itself to the point of practically being Protestant, which was the tradition I had left for Catholicism in the first place.
Over time, mainly through debate and dialogue on the Internet (most of which was on CAF), I quickly perceived that there were radical differences between Latin and Byzantine theology and tradition–and that Latin theology/tradition seemed to be dogmatized in the Catholic Church, regardless of whether or not that tradition jived with the Eastern Catholics. I viewed it almost like Eastern Catholics were forced to either compromise part of their Eastern traditions to be in communion with Rome, or to have some cognitive dissonance, accepting their inherited Eastern tradition in its entirety while accepting Roman dogmas/doctrines that don’t always seem to agree. I couldn’t take the eternal wrestling match in my head between the Byzantine spirituality that had helped me grow so much as a Christian and the Roman dogmas/doctrines that seemed to conflict with them, and I was unable to accept the Papacy and ecclesiology of the Catholic Church, because, in my eyes, it was fundamentally different from what existed in the undivided Church. I’m fine with Papal Primacy, but the views on universal jurisdiction and Papal Supremacy are what really caused me difficulty. Around Advent of 2010, I started attending Saturday Vespers and the occasional Sunday Liturgy at an Orthodox Church near me, while serving the altar on Sundays at my local Byzantine Catholic Church. I began to take the Orthodox side on basically everything, including the Pope–and that’s the biggest factor that eventually convinced me to leave the Catholic Church and explore Orthodoxy in the summer of this past year. That was not a decision I took lightly, however; leaving was difficult, and I prayed like I’d never prayed before, before deciding to make the move. And I’ve been an inquirer into the Orthodox Church ever since, taking my time, not rushing into anything again, just taking the time to pray and build my relationship with God.
But then, in the past couple days, I got to thinking: What if I didn’t take the time to fully understand the Roman Catholic position? I realize I do owe much of my growth as a Christian to my time in the Catholic Church. What if a lot of the things that I think are really big differences or contradictions, aren’t really differences or contradictions at all, but merely differences in expression and emphasis? What if I have a caricature of Roman Catholic teaching?
If you’re still reading, hats off to you for being a real trooper; I know that massive monologue probably wasn’t the easiest thing ever to read. But I want to talk about this with someone, and I just want to understand Catholicism better; I feel obligated to do at least that much.
So, would anyone be willing to help?
In all humility,
Shiranui
I’m popping up on the Evangelization forum, wondering if there’s anyone who wouldn’t mind helping me come to terms with the struggles I’ve had as a Catholic, in the hopes of either returning to the Catholic Church, or at least having a better understanding and appreciation of it. At the risk of ruffling some feathers or making people tl;dr, here’s a bit of my background, so you have a bit of a better idea about what’s been running through my head, and what I’ve been going through:
I was confirmed in 2010 as a convert to Catholicism, but while I was in RCIA I had heard about Orthodoxy, and even then I had questions about whether or not I shouldn’t explore Orthodoxy. But I went ahead and got confirmed anyway; it was about seven months between the time I started RCIA and the time I got confirmed, and I had only been attending my local Roman Catholic parish for a year before the chrism hit my head. Within a few months of being confirmed though, I began to feel hollow or spiritually malnourished in the NO Mass, so I moved to an Eastern Catholic parish. I adjusted very quickly and felt more spiritually at home, and began to learn more about Byzantine (AKA Eastern Orthodox) spirituality, which I noticed resonated far better in my heart than what I understood of modern Latin spirituality. In my mind, modern RC spirituality had stripped itself to the point of practically being Protestant, which was the tradition I had left for Catholicism in the first place.
Over time, mainly through debate and dialogue on the Internet (most of which was on CAF), I quickly perceived that there were radical differences between Latin and Byzantine theology and tradition–and that Latin theology/tradition seemed to be dogmatized in the Catholic Church, regardless of whether or not that tradition jived with the Eastern Catholics. I viewed it almost like Eastern Catholics were forced to either compromise part of their Eastern traditions to be in communion with Rome, or to have some cognitive dissonance, accepting their inherited Eastern tradition in its entirety while accepting Roman dogmas/doctrines that don’t always seem to agree. I couldn’t take the eternal wrestling match in my head between the Byzantine spirituality that had helped me grow so much as a Christian and the Roman dogmas/doctrines that seemed to conflict with them, and I was unable to accept the Papacy and ecclesiology of the Catholic Church, because, in my eyes, it was fundamentally different from what existed in the undivided Church. I’m fine with Papal Primacy, but the views on universal jurisdiction and Papal Supremacy are what really caused me difficulty. Around Advent of 2010, I started attending Saturday Vespers and the occasional Sunday Liturgy at an Orthodox Church near me, while serving the altar on Sundays at my local Byzantine Catholic Church. I began to take the Orthodox side on basically everything, including the Pope–and that’s the biggest factor that eventually convinced me to leave the Catholic Church and explore Orthodoxy in the summer of this past year. That was not a decision I took lightly, however; leaving was difficult, and I prayed like I’d never prayed before, before deciding to make the move. And I’ve been an inquirer into the Orthodox Church ever since, taking my time, not rushing into anything again, just taking the time to pray and build my relationship with God.
But then, in the past couple days, I got to thinking: What if I didn’t take the time to fully understand the Roman Catholic position? I realize I do owe much of my growth as a Christian to my time in the Catholic Church. What if a lot of the things that I think are really big differences or contradictions, aren’t really differences or contradictions at all, but merely differences in expression and emphasis? What if I have a caricature of Roman Catholic teaching?
If you’re still reading, hats off to you for being a real trooper; I know that massive monologue probably wasn’t the easiest thing ever to read. But I want to talk about this with someone, and I just want to understand Catholicism better; I feel obligated to do at least that much.
So, would anyone be willing to help?
In all humility,
Shiranui
I know that there are many other resources, like books. There are several out there. Just to mention a few; “Rome Sweet Home,” By Scott Hahn; “What Catholics really believe,” by Karl Keating;, “Nuts and bolts,” by Tim Staples; “Catholicism and Fundamentalism,” by Karl Keating; and “Catholic and Christian,” by Alan Schreck. I’m sure there are other resources as well. Some of the others here may have other suggestions, so don’t be shy about asking. Good luck.
I’m looking up each of those books as we speak. I’m also making sure to actually read the Catechism…