Searching for stability!

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Can you offer me advice please:

I am always trying to improve myself that I am not enjoying my life to the fullest. The areas of my life that I want to improve change from week to week. One week it might be wanting to return to college for the 5th time (I never stick to it) our finances are not the best, so I feel that if I only had a college degree, then we would be OK…sometimes I think a job change would make me happy. Sometimes I want to move to a new house, or a new town,I just want to STOP! Ive done this my whole adult life.

I really desire peace in my heart & to feel connected to my family. Im so preoccupied with this that Ive realized Im missing out on things.

What is going on here? Its gotten worse since I became a mother. I just dont feel like Im doing enough or that my family will be disappointed in me. I do like change, but I need some stability in my life too.
 
It sounds to me like you need a good counselor to help you sort out what’s going on in your mind and in your life. Your priest may be able to recommend someone or perhaps your diocese. I wish you all the best and will say a prayer for you today. 🙂
 
You may also want to try books from Stephen Covey or Tony Robbins.

It sounds like to me you have perhaps a streak of dreaming, maybe covetousness, and just need to be able to focus them into goals.

I am a goal oriented person.
It taks some practice and learning to deal with failure of not reaching those goals and being content when you do reach them.

It’s okay to dream about things - you need to materialize them into concrete physical, mental, spiritual, financial, family, and personal goals.
 
Thank you for your advice.

Hopefully, Ill get it figured out soon?
 
It sounds like you are afraid that you are not making progress and that life is happening to you. While certainly we are not in control–(God is!), we can and should try to guide our lives toward achieving the most productive lives we can.

Perhaps you need some help in setting realistic goals, and then achieving them. So you might look for a counselor to help you. Or you might try doing it on your own. As you practice setting and achieving goals, you get a sense of accomplishment which will help you get better at achieving goals and will give you a feeling of success.

So identify a manageable goal and a realistic timeframe. Work at it steadily over that time frame, trying not to procrastinate. As you focus on that goal, stop thinking about all the other things you need or want to do. (Or perhaps, think about them just enough to put them on a list for future projects.) One thing at a time and a little bit at a time will get you there. Good luck.
 
A timely editorial from Catholic News Agency

WHAT WOMEN WANT

Feminine Role Models When talking about women’s issues, many comment that in today’s world, we lack current role models for true femininity. On the surface, this statement resonates with me. Since society places sex appeal, power, and popularity on a pedestal, any woman possessing these attributes subsequently qualifies as an attractive role model.

However, when we divorce ourselves from society’s definition of a “role model,” our eyes begin to focus on women who model virtues of justice, purity, honor, and love. These women surround us in our everyday life. They dedicate hours of their day educating, working, serving, rearing families, and praying for the strength to continue God’s work.

more…
 
Buffalo–> thank you for those links!
LaChiara–> Thank you for the advice on setting realistic, achievable goals.

Both of you offer great information. I am going to read over the material you sent to me…

To add to my growing story.

Its funny because all I ever wanted to do was be home a stay at home mom. When I finally accepted the sad reality that we couldnt afford for me to stay home, I became very resentful of my husband. I tried to reason with him about this. I was willing to downsize every area in our life, but my husband wouldnt go for this. He said we arent living an eloborate lifestyle to begin with & cant downsize any further.

Well after months of protesting & trying to pursuade my hubby to let me stay home,** I gave up**. It had always been a dream of mine, but I had to let the dream die. So I started researching ways to be able to be more available to my daughter. Thats where the idea of returning to college came from. The only problem with this idea was that college & studying would take time away from my daughter & I knew that it wouldnt last. Another hurtle was finances, I would have to pay someone to watch her while I went to school since hubby works all the time! Next I thought Id try a work at home. I spent lots of money on the materials, but it didnt work out either, because I didnt finish the studies.

So here I am working outside of the home…Work provides me some things I need in my life: self esteem, friendships & a sense of community, but I dont want a career, I want to be a stay at home mom.

Sorry to ramble on & on…Its just I dont have anyone to talk to about this. Everyone tells me to get a backbone & suck it up…Maybe I should, but its hard!!
 
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You may also want to try books from Stephen Covey or Tony Robbins.
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I would rather recommend that you read Imitation of Christ by Thomas A. Kempis.
 
EENS- I stopped by the library to see if they had Imitation of Christ & to my suprise it was on the shelf. I started reading it last night. I appreciate you telling me about this. I’ll keep you posted.

Thanks Kate(name removed by moderator)
 
Kate(name removed by moderator) - Sometimes it’s just plain hard to be happy with your position in life, period. I know this too. I have the opposite, I stay at home with my children and generally love it - but some days are spent just wiping bottoms and cooking, very mundane. Other times it’s great and we have terrific fun all day. Sometimes it just helps to remember that all times are just temporary - good and bad. When the good times come, and they will, you will wonder how you got through the bad with your sanity. Focus on all of the good in your life, even if it seems there’s not much to smile about.
 
Have you ever gone off on a weekend retreat? If money is an issue, it may not be possible at least right away. I go on a silent weekend (Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius) once a year. —KCT
 
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