Searching

[baxter112]

This modern, secular life seems ultimately hopeless to me. I want very much to believe. Most of my life I have been searching for some meaning, and it seems I may have found it in the sounds and images of the liturgy.
Having spent all of my life in a predominantly Catholic community, I have picked up bits and pieces of the faith, but I know there are big gaps in my understanding. I am not a perfect person, not at all. I have a perhaps mistaken impression that the church wants well scrubbed nuclear family types, upwardly mobile with happy, well adjusted kids. None of my family, including my wife is interested in my spiritual quest and they would even discourage or laugh at my search.

However I have little interest in the Bible having unsuccessfully tried on a number of occasions to read it. I have no context for the names and places and it becomes very confusing. Biblical discussions and debates I have heard over the years are boring to me. Television preachers are a big turn off. Pastors such as John Hagee and Jimmy Swaggart are despicable to me. They seem like dumb hillbillies to me. The Catholic Mass is entirely different though. I love its dignity and majesty.

And I am very fond of the early liturgical pieces, especially of those in honor of Mary. Composed by Giovanni Palestrina and Thomas Tallis especially. I love the firm severe pace of their hymns, the recurring rhythms and praises. I can follow their reverent meaning adoringly, or I can forget their meaning and become engrossed in the solemn cadence of the verses and let myself be filled by them, by the deep, drawn out notes, the full sound of the vowels, the pious refrains. Deep down in my heart I have no love for scripture, bible verses or parables, although they too, have their beauty. My real love is for the sound and image world of the liturgy.

I have visited some of the great cathedrals of Europe and have been humbled by their loving artistry. I can look at a beautiful carved Madonna, and it takes my breath away. I can listen to a motet, “Ave Maria” by Josquin Du Pre and see the face of God.

Bruce

 

[quiet52]

This modern, secular life seems ultimately hopeless to me. I want very much to believe. Most of my life I have been searching for some meaning, and it seems I may have found it in the sounds and images of the liturgy.
Having spent all of my life in a predominantly Catholic community, I have picked up bits and pieces of the faith, but I know there are big gaps in my understanding. I am not a perfect person, not at all. I have a perhaps mistaken impression that the church wants well scrubbed nuclear family types, upwardly mobile with happy, well adjusted kids. None of my family, including my wife is interested in my spiritual quest and they would even discourage or laugh at my search.

However I have little interest in the Bible having unsuccessfully tried on a number of occasions to read it. I have no context for the names and places and it becomes very confusing. Biblical discussions and debates I have heard over the years are boring to me. Television preachers are a big turn off. Pastors such as John Hagee and Jimmy Swaggart are despicable to me. They seem like dumb hillbillies to me. The Catholic Mass is entirely different though. I love its dignity and majesty.

And I am very fond of the early liturgical pieces, especially of those in honor of Mary. Composed by Giovanni Palestrina and Thomas Tallis especially. I love the firm severe pace of their hymns, the recurring rhythms and praises. I can follow their reverent meaning adoringly, or I can forget their meaning and become engrossed in the solemn cadence of the verses and let myself be filled by them, by the deep, drawn out notes, the full sound of the vowels, the pious refrains. Deep down in my heart I have no love for scripture, bible verses or parables, although they too, have their beauty. My real love is for the sound and image world of the liturgy.

I have visited some of the great cathedrals of Europe and have been humbled by their loving artistry. I can look at a beautiful carved Madonna, and it takes my breath away. I can listen to a motet, “Ave Maria” by Josquin Du Pre and see the face of God.

Bruce

God reaches out to us in so many ways. He plants the desire to know Him in the heart of each person. But we freely choose how we respond to His call (if we do at all).

The liturgy of the Mass includes “sound and imagery” but these elements aren’t the essence of liturgy. However, art and sacramentals have always helped humankind give glory to God. We are both physical and spiritual beings. Music, statues, stained glass windows, icons, incense, bells, our bodily postures and gestures, candles (and so on) can help to draw us to prayer, to worship, or at least to thinking about God.

It seems that God has been tugging at your heart through the liturgy of the Mass. It is both a public and personal (but not private) act of worship. It is indeed a compelling experience when we allow it to be, for it is a wonderful gift. You may not have yet acquired a sound knowledge base of the faith – but knowledge is but one element. Increased understanding can help us to worship, and to live the faith more earnestly. There are a great many people who have the knowledge, but who choose not to act on it – which is what brings meaning to faith.

Yes, the secular life is hopeless without God. There is no genuine meaning in life without Him. He has created us to know His love and to love Him and others. Each and every one of us has been called to holiness. None of us are perfect – but when we’re open to God’s help, it’s easier to be holy, and to renew ourselves in faith when we fall. I encourage you to keep working on your own journey of faith, no matter if your family or friends accept your faith journey. Don’t do it alone though – seek out someone from the parish to encourage you. Perhaps make an appointment with a priest, deacon, or catechist.

Worship and prayer are essential to living the faith. I’m glad the liturgy of the Mass is helping you to find some meaning in life. That being said, being faithful requires more than worship and prayer. It requires gaining an understanding of the faith, so we can better live it (in practice). It means to love others. God is all about love. The liturgy of the Mass will help us do this, when we hear the Word of God and celebrate the Eucharist, and strive to apply what we understand to our daily lives.

There’s a Latin phrase, “Lex Orandi, Lex Credendi,” which, very roughly translated, means we worship what we believe how we are to live. More accurately, “as we worship, so shall we live.” In the liturgy of the Mass, listening to the Word of God instructs us, hopefully. We celebrate the mystery of the Eucharist. Then during the short Concluding Rite, we are blessed, then dismissed or “sent” out into the very secular world to preach the faith in word and in action. The central mission of the Church is to evangelize (share the Gospel message). We don’t just attend Mass for ourselves – it nourishes us so that we can bring Christ to others – and to bring others to Christ. We are commissioned to carry the message of God’s Word, and to be a light of God’s love, to others between each celebration of the Mass.

So please continue participating in the Liturgy. Between Sunday Masses, reflect on the singing, the readings, the prayers (etc.) during difficult, joyful, or tedious moments of your daily routine. As for gaining a better understanding of the faith, perhaps you can consider participating in the parish’s RCIA or adult religious education programs.

May you persevere in faith, trust and hope that our Lord is guiding you, and that eventually you may be His instrument in guiding your family.

Some thoughts about “Lex Orandi, Lex Credendi”:
catholicam.org/

 

[Trishie]

Dear Bruce, welcome to CAF!

If the Church wants scrubbed perfect people and families that leaves a lot of us out! So many of us are just managing to keep marriages together, or trying to pray unwilling children or siblings or spouses back to the Faith. Many of us have children with failed marriages, many struggling with debt, and trying to find jobs…no it’s not a Church of people with perfect lives and families, but human beings doing the best we can manage, and trusting in God to be there for us as we struggle. If the Church doesn’t want us less than perfect people with less than perfect children (loved though they are!) then there mightn’t be many people left! Visit the Prayer Intentions and Family Life forums and see how many of us claim to be perfect or to have perfect lives!

Please don’t ever feel you are/should be excluded in any way.

(You don’t love the New Testament, the gospels and the letters of the apostles? I hope you will come to. And wonderful passeges from Isaiah…but still, the time may come for you!

Wonderful that you love the Eucharist with its Liturgy and music!

Best wishes and prayers, Trishie

 

[rwoehmke]

This modern, secular life seems ultimately hopeless to me. I want very much to believe. Most of my life I have been searching for some meaning, and it seems I may have found it in the sounds and images of the liturgy.

However I have little interest in the Bible having unsuccessfully tried on a number of occasions to read it. I have no context for the names and places and it becomes very confusing. Biblical discussions and debates I have heard over the years are boring to me.
Bruce

Bruce, I think your take on the Bible is one shared by many Catholics who don’t understand it. Once a person has studied various parts of it in courses like Jeff Cavin’s Bible Timeline (You can Google it fo more info) one begins to pick up an understanding of what a beautiful work of God it is. Most of us will never in a lifetime fully understand it, but a stage can be reached where it speaks to the heart and the mind. To just pick it up and try reading it with no help is not very rewarding.

 

[krysianka]

Since you found the beauty of the sounds and images of the liturgy, keep experiencing that, try to be led by the Spirit. I know what it’s like to get frustrated with what I don’t have in the area of faith/understanding/personal preferences. I would get ahead of myself and try to run the show instead of being led. It still can be a battle for me. My own opinion is not to get dragged down by what is turning you off right now, like formal Bible study. The liturgy is full of scripture, appropriately placed.

Stow this away for later: Jeff Cavins’ Bible Timeline material, like rwoehmke said, is very good. But before all that, I’d say find someone in your area/parish to listen to your concerns & offer help, even if it’s just talking over coffee every once in a while. You could start with calling the parish office of a nearby church and ask to meet with a priest or deacon. The nice thing abt these forums is that it’s anonymous. sharing your personal issues one on one is much harder , risking being misunderstood or rejected. But it’s too important not to try.

I know what you mean about the feeling the church wants perfect families. Slowly I am realizing that may not be the case although it can appear to me on the surface. No amt of telling me it’s not true did anything to convince me. It’s OK to want this for your family, but start with your faith first. It’s OK to go to Mass on your own.

 

[mammallama]

Bruce…so glad to see you here among friends.
I have no profound wisdom to impart above and beyond what has already been said.
As far as your love of music…are you familiar with Arvo Part or Tavener?Hildegard von Bingen?..absolutly beautiful

 

[Joe_5859]

Bruce, welcome to CAF!

Remember, the Church is not a country club for saints, but a hospital for sinners. I don’t think any of us have perfect families. But we come to the Lord in the liturgy to be nourished and strengthened for our daily trials.

Reading the Bible can be very difficult (and frustrating) without having an idea of the “Big Picture”. For that, I would also recommend Jeff Cavin’s Great Adventure Bible Timeline. It may be a bit pricey for individual study, but you can always try to convince the local parish to host the study (and foot the bill ).

Scott Hahn’s book A Father Who Keeps His Promises is a less expensive way to get a handle on the big picture. Much of the book has also been reworked into an free online Bible study, Genesis to Jesus. Both are a great intro to the Bible.

 

[baxter112]

I would be interested in getting some prayer advice. Our family never prayed on any occasions, and the only prayer I ever memorized as a child was the Presbyterian version of the Lords Prayer. It that sufficient? Should I memorize a particular prayer?or is just thinking about God in a reverent way a start?
I have been to the town of Bingen on the Rhine, do like Hildegard as well.
Bruce

 

[mammallama]

Check out www.catholiccity.com Free audio CDs including a pray-along rosary and lots of info that you may find helpful.

Also most any Catholic church has all sorts of information that they will be more than happy to give.They can load you down with plenty to get you started.

As a cradle Catholic I don’t know how proddy’s do their thing but Catholics just LOVE to give stuff away…and talk and talk…bingo anyone?

 

[krysianka]

Check out www.catholiccity.com Free audio CDs including a pray-along rosary and lots of info that you may find helpful.

I absolutely second catholiccity for free media. Not only great prayer CDs but great dialogue CDs from various reputable individuals. I have Confession, The Truth About Mary, The Mass Explained.

You are on the right track that thinking about God in a reverent way is a perfect start. Different prayers and devotions are entirely up to the individual, outside of liturgical prayer which is specifically prescribed by the Church. I think the Lord’s Prayer is a perfect prayer because Jesus taught it to us.

If you like, you can look over the various prayers on EWTN here ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/index.htm, maybe you’ll find something that draws you . At the bottom of the page, notice the quote by St Therese. She reminds me that prayer can be simple if I allow it to be.

 

[Joe_5859]

If you like, you can look over the various prayers on EWTN here ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/index.htm, maybe you’ll find something that draws you . At the bottom of the page, notice the quote by St Therese. She reminds me that prayer can be simple if I allow it to be.

I was just about to suggest the same thing. This is a great place to go online to find the most common Catholic prayers. I recommend the rosary, in particular. If you want a print version of much of the same material, you could also get the Handbook of Prayers.

I think of memorized prayers as love songs to God. If you grabbed a guitar and started singing a love song outside the window of your beloved, no one would fault you for using a song that has already been written. The important part is the disposition. Prayer is an act of love. I find it helpful to have an arsenal of memorized prayers available for me to use. Thus, if I am walking into a nerve-wracking situation, I can quickly whisper a “Hail Mary” or “Our Father” without having to worry about coming up with the words.

Another great way to pray is in front of the Eucharist. Some parishes even have “perpetual adoration”, which means they have a small chapel where the Eucharist is “exposed” for people to come to pray there. It’s a great way to pray.

Of course, with prayer, the most important thing is to be spending time with God. Whether you’re using memorized prayers, improvised prayer, reading Scripture, Eucharistic Adoration, or a combination of any of the above, it’s all about building your relationship with God.

If you’re looking to learn about prayer, I would recommend Peter Kreeft’s great books Prayer for Beginners and Prayer: The Great Conversation, and Fr. Thomas Green’s Opening to God as good introductions.

If you’re looking for great devotional books that you can pray with, you can’t go wrong with the Bible. I would also highly recommend Thomas a Kempis’ Imitation of Christ and Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen’s Divine Intimacy. Both of these are great books of meditations to help you along in your prayer life.