Secret Confirmation

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My friend is inviting me to his confirmation tomorrow. He was a born-again Christian before (non-dnominational me thinks) and said before he was considering becoming Catholic. He told me that they perform baptisms in the proper formula with water, so what he needed to go from being born-again Christian to becoming a Catholic is Confirmation.

However his family is born-again Christian, and from what he told me once if he told his family they would be furious and would have not approve of his conversion. From my experience born-again Christians are that stingy when it comes to people leaving their churches. That’s why he’s doing it in secret.

I had second thoughts on going, because the Confirmation is done in secret, and I was wondering if it is ever valid enough that I can attend.
 
Is the Confirmation being done by the local Catholic bishop, or a priest authorized by the bishop? If so, it is valid, and, of course, you may attend.
 
WilliamE said:
Catholics are even worse. They won’t ever let you leave.

“Once Catholic, always Catholic.”
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When I said “stingy” I meant with scorn. From my experience with fellow Catholics when someone leaves the Church we always try to convince him or her to come back. Born-again Christian in my experience are far worse. When you leave their churches some would want to break off their relationship with you. Others don’t even want to talk to you. At least Catholics who have friends who leave the Church still keep them as friends.
 
CatholicWhovian said:
My friend is inviting me to his confirmation tomorrow. He was a born-again Christian before (non-dnominational me thinks) and said before he was considering becoming Catholic. He told me that they perform baptisms in the proper formula with water, so what he needed to go from being born-again Christian to becoming a Catholic is Confirmation.

However his family is born-again Christian, and from what he told me once if he told his family they would be furious and would have not approve of his conversion. From my experience born-again Christians are that stingy when it comes to people leaving their churches. That’s why he’s doing it in secret.

I had second thoughts on going, because the Confirmation is done in secret, and I was wondering if it is ever valid enough that I can attend.
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as long as the confirmation is done by someone who has the authority to confirm, it’s valid, the fact that it’s not information that is shared with his family has nothing to do with it. there’s no requirement that other people have to be made aware that it’s happening
 
CatholicWhovian said:
When I said “stingy” I meant with scorn. From my experience with fellow Catholics when someone leaves the Church we always try to convince him or her to come back. Born-again Christian in my experience are far worse. When you leave their churches some would want to break off their relationship with you. Others don’t even want to talk to you. At least Catholics who have friends who leave the Church still keep them as friends.
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I have been through this before as a teen leaving a non-evangelical unusual form of Christianity. It is extremely hard. I think if I become catholic I have some friends who will be okay with it and some who will give me a hard time for all the stuff I’ve said in the past. I think some will really be angry. I have a friend who became catholic a few years ago, and I was really angry myself because I thought he had been deceived–maybe he has. Regardless, this friend who is being confirmed in secret is going to have some serious trials if the rejection of his former click is as bad as he fears. Even if he keeps it a secret successfully, there is a loneliness in that. I strenuously recommend that if this conversion is legitimate, you go. And if you can provide support for him in the transition he will appreciate it a lot.
 
WilliamE said:
Catholics are even worse. They won’t ever let you leave.

“Once Catholic, always Catholic.”
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but at least its inclusively instead of exclusively. As long as you are baptized catholic you are still catholic. Just some confession and penance and your back. Some Protestants will burn you at the stake–metaphorically of course.
 
Sacraments aren’t done in secret as a general rule. Maybe he’s not telling anyone, especially his family, and that’s a different matter. I doubt this is a secret ceremony in the cloak-and-dagger sense.

Here in the US, there would be hesitation if he were a minor, but for legal reasons rather than sacramental ones.
 
Cor_ad_Cor said:
Sacraments aren’t done in secret as a general rule. Maybe he’s not telling anyone, especially his family, and that’s a different matter. I doubt this is a secret ceremony in the cloak-and-dagger sense.

Here in the US, there would be hesitation if he were a minor, but for legal reasons rather than sacramental ones.
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There are obvious exceptions. A close priest friend of mine was ordained a deacon alone by the bishop and 6 minutes later instead of 6 months he was ordained a priest. It was during religious persecution in his country many years ago, and he is still a very good priest today. Sometimes prudence and discretion is required
 
My wife and I are both evangelical converts. It wasn’t the easiest thing in the world telling friends and family that we were converting, but at the same time keeping it a secret wasn’t feasible in our case. For us, we derived courage from the realization that our faith isn’t about pleasing friends and family; it’s about pleasing God.

We prayed for our family to accept our calling to the one, holy, Catholic and apostolic Church while at the same time deciding that their acceptance wasn’t material to God’s purpose for our lives. Your friend is in my prayers.
 
Mammoths said:
but at least its inclusively instead of exclusively. As long as you are baptized catholic you are still catholic. Just some confession and penance and your back. Some Protestants will burn you at the stake–metaphorically of course.
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Yes, once a child of God, always a child of God.
 
If this young man is getting Confirmed … I can assure you it’s no secret.
Either his priest had to get permission from the Bishop to do so outside of the norm, or the Bishop is actually doing it. These things don’t happen in a vacuum. Everyone who needs to know, knows.
 
pacomius said:
There are obvious exceptions. A close priest friend of mine was ordained a deacon alone by the bishop and 6 minutes later instead of 6 months he was ordained a priest. It was during religious persecution in his country many years ago, and he is still a very good priest today. Sometimes prudence and discretion is required
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Right, I understand. I, myself, have attended confirmations of people of persecuted nations done “quietly”, but they still don’t meet my definition of “secret”, because as Clare indicates, the necessary people are informed, and the faithful aren’t excluded.
 
Something in this seems a bit … off? We don’t really have any clue as to what is meant by “in secret”.

Further, (and I will gladly grant the issue of relatives being seriously upset), how is this alleged “secret” conversion going to stay secret? The individual is going to be going to Mass (at least theoretically); if they are anywhere near other family members, there are going to be occasions where this individual would be expected to show up at whatever denomination the family belongs to. How is that going to be worked out? and how is going to Mass going to be kept “secret”?

Sorry, but the sniff test isn’t coming across peaches and roses. There need to be a few more details fleshed out.
 
otjm said:
Something in this seems a bit … off? We don’t really have any clue as to what is meant by “in secret”.

Further, (and I will gladly grant the issue of relatives being seriously upset), how is this alleged “secret” conversion going to stay secret? The individual is going to be going to Mass (at least theoretically); if they are anywhere near other family members, there are going to be occasions where this individual would be expected to show up at whatever denomination the family belongs to. How is that going to be worked out? and how is going to Mass going to be kept “secret”?

Sorry, but the sniff test isn’t coming across peaches and roses. There need to be a few more details fleshed out.
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He said he’ll just go to Mass Saturday evening and join his family on their Sunday service. I can’t really speak for him, since I don’t know the details either.

The confirmation’s done anyway. He’s a Catholic now. He’s had his confirmation, his first confession and his first communion all in the same day. Please pray for him. 🙂
 
CatholicWhovian said:
He said he’ll just go to Mass Saturday evening and join his family on their Sunday service. I can’t really speak for him, since I don’t know the details either.

The confirmation’s done anyway. He’s a Catholic now. He’s had his confirmation, his first confession and his first communion all in the same day. Please pray for him. 🙂
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I apparently missed that. Thank you.
 
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