Seeing strangers as more important than self... (?)

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Kathrin

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A friend told me about a man in a wheelchair who was looking for somebody to accompany him on a trip last winter (he likes to spend the winters where it is warmer), and that it had been hard to find somebody.

I don’t know if he is looking for somebody again this year, but I immediately felt for him, and felt somewhat responsible (I do a lot of things like that, visiting disabled people, etc). I told my friend he could let the people in his community know that if he doesn’t find anybody else I might do it at least for a few weeks… not making any promises though.

Now I am kind of hoping they won’t need anybody.
On the one hand, I would like to go on a trip where it is warm.
On the other hand… I have other things too that I am already dreaming about. I have other places where I would like to go. Plus I just got back from 3 months in the US.

Now here the self versus strangers thing comes in: If that guy’s destination was the place where I dream of going as well, I would much more likely say yes and even maybe decide to stay for a long time.
But since it seems he wants to go to a place I am not particularly interested in, I kind of don’t feel like it… But is it right to think this way? Shouldn’t I go anywhere where he wants to go?
And then I tell ymself again, he is an absolute stranger that I just happened to hear about, and of course we are to love strangers as ourselves, but there are probably a lot more disabled people out there who would need me to do things… so IF I decide to do something like that (accompany a disabled person) maybe it would be ok to look for somebody who wants to travel where I want to travel to as well?

This brings up really difficult spiritual questions for me! If somebody tells me about a stranger who needs help, do I jump up and say “I¨LL do it” each time? That might be impossible.
But only do it if it suits me feels kind of wrong too - only accompany somebody because he happens to go to a place I am interested in as well.

I feel kind of guilty because I somehow don’t think it would be worth the trouble that comes with taking a long trip (also possible loss of income. I don’t have a steady income.) But if the same man wanted to go to a personal favorite place of mine (I have a place I’d been dreaming about returning to) I’d probably shout for joy.

Any thoughts?

Kathrin
 
*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

Wow. I want to commend you on your mercy, you and your post are an inspiration to me and a hard act to follow. 🙂 😃 Please pray for me that God will increase my own mercy through the Immaculate Heart of Mary if this is part of the Sacred Heart of Jesus’s will.

Here are some bible verses to think about: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” “Love one another as I have loved you.” How do you want to be loved? How do you want the Sacred Heart of Jesus to love you, I probably want the Sacred Heart of Jesus to love me even more than I love myself. :o
“Every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. But many who are first will be last and many who are last will be first.”** (Matthew 19:29-30)**

“When we know that the way of love–this exodus, this going out of oneself–is the true way by which man becomes human, then we also understand that suffering is the process through which we mature. Anyone who has inwardly accepted suffering becomes more mature and more understanding of others, becomes more human. Anyone who has consistently avoided suffering does not understand other people; he becomes hard and selfish. Love itself is a passion, something we endure. In love I experience first a happiness, a general feeling of happiness. Yet, on the other hand, I am taken out of my comfortable tranquility and have to let myself be reshaped. If we say that suffering is the inner side of love, we then also understand why it is so important to learn how to suffer – and why, conversely, the avoidance of suffering renders someone unfit to cope with life.” Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, now His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI

Devoting oneself to the Sacred Heart of Jesus through the Immaculate Heart of Mary:
True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin montfort.org.uk/Writings/TrueDev.html
Secret of the Rosary montfort.org.uk/Writings/Rosary.html
**Preparation for 33 day consecration to the Blessed Virgin **saintlouisdemontfort.com/consecration.cfm
Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesusen.wikisource.org/wiki/Devotion_to_the_Sacred_Heart_of_Jesus#FIRST_POINT._.E2.80.94_The_ardent_desire_Jesus_Christ_feels_to_be_with_us.
Chaplet of Divine Mercyewtn.com/Devotionals/mercy/dmmap.htm

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
Kathrin… my short and humble opinion…

It sounds like you’re unsure of your own intentions… and wish to discover where the Lord is leading you. A good thing, to be sure.

It seems that you have 3 choices here.

One: You can go with this poor man, to be of assistance to him.

Two: You can go with this poor man to be of assistance to him, AND to see where God is leading you.

Or three: You can go with this poor man, to see where God is leading you.

I would say, that the first two choices are probably the best reasons to go along. The last, while not really “bad” in itself… would still seem a bit “self-seeking”.

I hope that you don’t find my opinion offensive. Just trying to help. I would recommend giving the question to Our Lord… and He will make it clear to you… whether He wants this, or not. God bless you.
 
Kathrin,
Code: 
      charity doesn't demand that you give up your life, for the desires of another, especially a stranger. If the man was in need of something basic, food, shelter or such, then yes, do all you can.
However, you don’t have to give up your dreams and desires for a stranger, and in fact, it could be a bad idea.

For one, you don’t know the man, and you don’t know if you’d even get along with him.

If you have no desire to go and live where this man wants to live, you have absolutely no obligation to follow his desires.

Jim
 
The gospel requires that one devote at least a part of their life to corporeal and spiritual works of mercy. Some, like Mother Teresa, are called to dedicate their entire lives to works of mercy. However, all of us should get in the habit of helping people out of love. Most people only care about self with no concern for others. That, unfortunately, is the common human condition.
 
Kathrin, I admire your heart and your openness to the Spirit of God. I understand your dilemma.

I agree with you that to accompany this disabled man on a trip where you also want to go is not an act of sacrifice. Therefore, pehaps it would be good to spend a great deal of time discerning if God really is calling you to sacrifice for someone else.

If God is calling you to sacrifice for this man, then allow yourself to be open to the right sacrifice. There are two ways the Enemy can ruin this for you. The first way is by convincing you that it is too much trouble and cause you to feel resentment. The second way is to confuse you into not knowing where your limits of sacrifice should be.

Just one small trip, with minimal financial investment, for a stranger doesn’t seem either excessive or selfish to me- it sounds like a good balance. But you are the one who has to discern that and make the final decision through dedication to prayer.

If you do decide to make this sacrifice, rest assured that you will be richly blessed by God.
 
Sometimes we have a need to put ourselves first for some good and just even reason. We need too to sight the Gospel as very demanding and accept it when we fall short of its demands in order to meet some even quite justified need of our own. I dont think we should water down the Gospel or rationalize it to fit into the limitations of our nature. We need to be able to accept that we are limited for whatever reason and that we do fall short. We need to be able to sight and accept ourselves as sinners in need constantly of pardon and mercy.

Matthew Chapter 5
"42 Give to him that asketh of thee and from him that would borrow of thee turn not away."

Quoting AngelsUnaware:
But you are the one who has to discern that and make the final decision through dedication to prayer.
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…👍 …

Barb:)
 
Mark_Robert said:
The gospel requires that one devote at least a part of their life to corporeal and spiritual works of mercy. Some, like Mother Teresa, are called to dedicate their entire lives to works of mercy. However, all of us should get in the habit of helping people out of love. Most people only care about self with no concern for others. That, unfortunately, is the common human condition.
Click to expand...
I would say I am somebody who helps people a lot, it comes natural to me, I couldn’t imagine not living that way. I visit people, I help people, I share with people.
I am definitely not somebody who would say, I don’t care about strangers.
Still I wonder if it is going too far if, when a friend just happens to tell me about a man in his church community HE had been asked to maybe accompany LAST year, that I don’t even know if there is a need right now and I just think there MIGHT be… if in such a case I, without being asked, say: Oh, maybe he needs somebody again this year? Maybe I am the one he will need? If then I ask my friend to find out if possibly he might need somebody again this year, just to make sure?
 
Will you be the person to be responsible for him should he seeks medical attention during the trip? Does he have medical insurance? what his family says about you taking him along?
 
As I said, I don’t even know if he is looking for somebody again this year, or if he already has somebody or if the situation has changed.
So those aren’t questions I have really been asking myself.
This is more about: Just hearing something like this quasi “in passing”, how much responsibility would others feel? To find out whether he MIGHT need somebody again?
 
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