Seeking a Religious Community

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I asked a question like this way back, maybe a couple of years ago, but can’t recall getting any great answers at the time, so I thought that I’d try again now that the forums are closing. I just might get some good information.

Basically I’m trying to find a religious order that I could potentially join. There are some in my country but unfortunately most of them are dying and have only a few old members left. Those that do have a younger average age I don’t feel called to their specific way of life. So I’m hoping for suggestions. 🙂

Things I’m looking for in a religious community/order:
  • I’m attracted to Ignatian spirituality and
    elements of the early Jesuit way of life, however I find many modern Jesuits very liberal, especially where I live. Also, the modern Jesuit lifestyle is more active than I’d like.
  • Mostly contemplative, but not entirely monastic or enclosed. Some engagement with the world and souls.
  • Eucharistic
  • Orthodox, somewhat more traditional, but not traditionalist.
  • I don’t feel particularly called to the Dominicans or Franciscans. Carmelite spirituality, however, appeals to me a lot. Again, where I live there is not a strong Carmelite presence. Maybe someone knows where the Carmelite order is healthy? That being said, as much as I love their spirituality, I’m not sure I’m called to the Carmelites themselves. Just an option.
  • I guess a contemplative, Eucharist/Adoration focused, Carmelite spirituality adhering, orthodox, community. If it exists. And I like a black cassock… 😉
Any ideas?
 
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I don’t know how you can be called to a Jesuit way of life–which is intensely apostolic and active–and then say you want something “mostly contemplative.” Perhaps your first step is to clarify what it is you are really looking for. Have you read the Rule of St. Ignatius, for example? And keep in mind that Jesuits are required to be willing to go wherever obedience takes them. So, even if you were to find a province that might “fit” your current tastes, there is no guarantee you’d be staying there.

I would also not focus on what a community wears. That’s really not terribly central to what religious life is all about.

Have you consulted with a spiritual director? Also, you might need to realize that you are not the ultimate arbiter of “orthodoxy.” If you are interested in traditionalism, then you are going to find only a rather limited number of options. But you might look at the Carmelites in Wyoming, USA (although. most male Carmelites are pretty conservative, at least in the US).
 
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Where are you located?

John and Teresa’s writings are for everyone, not just Carmelites. I have a photo from the Ann Arbor Dominicans showing their Sts Teresa of Avila and Ignatius of Loyola statues still in their boxes, and it looks like they’re having a conversation. Apparently, the sisters have integrated those spiritualities. How? I haven’t heard.

That being said, Vatican II wanted everyone to read up on – and most importantly, practice – Salesian gentleness, and Teresa and John’s mystical writings. St. Francis de Sales was educated by the Jesuits, so his spirituality is “once removed” from Jesuitism.

Have you been able to make the Spiritual Exercises? I would highly suggest a spiritual director, as we anonymous posters on this forum are not gifted with knowing you, and how your talents would help the world. You’ve got to know yourself before finding the religious community that’s a good fit for you.

The only Ignatian contemplatives I’ve heard of are the Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matara. I know the extinct Theatine nuns followed the active sisters’ rule, albeit in a contemplative lifestyle. However, they were not Ignatian. There are men’s congregations who are Ignatian, like the Holy Cross Priests and Brothers (as in Notre Dame).

Perhaps, under the guidance of a spiritual director there locally, you could develop your own personal prayer rule incorporating what you’ve outlined above.

Blessings,
Cloisters
My new congregation:
http://cloisters.tripod.com/charity/
My particular ministry promoting the cloisters and contemplative life:
http://cloisters.tripod.com/
 
Thanks a lot for your reply @Cloisters! I’m located in Ireland. Wouldn’t usually share my location on forums but they’ll be closing soon so not so worried. Yes, I absolutely love Carmelite spirituality and have read a fair amount of St. Teresa and St. John, as well as other books that help explain their spirituality, like Fr. Dubay’s book Fire Within which was great. Yeah, I know that just liking a spirituality doesn’t mean a call to that order necessarily!
I have never made the spiritual exercises, no. I’ve heard they are powerful. I must try to do that when all the lockdowns are over, if I can find them in Ireland. Which is somewhat doubtful, but I’ll keep my eyes open.
Sure, I understand it’s hard to give personal recommendations - I’ve chatted with many priests and know myself relatively well, but just haven’t found a community I’ve felt really called to yet.
I just thought maybe my limited knowledge of what exists here in Ireland might be broadened by the recommendations of those further afield, as I’m not averse to moving. 🙂 The Dominicans are the primary order that is actually growing, with a reasonable number of younger vocations, however I don’t feel a personal attraction to them. Not at present, anyway.
Cloisters said:
The only Ignatian contemplatives I’ve heard of are the Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matara.
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I’ll look them up!
Cloisters said:
Holy Cross Priests and Brothers (as in Notre Dame).
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And these.
Cloisters said:
Perhaps, under the guidance of a spiritual director there locally, you could develop your own personal prayer rule incorporating what you’ve outlined above.
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What exactly do you mean by this? Do you mean just a kind of structured personal prayer, or something more formal, like religious vows?
 
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sealabeag said:
Any ideas?
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First up I’d suggest finding a spiritual director! If you want to seriously discern religious life, my understanding is that a spiritual director will become mandatory during the process anyway, so you might as well find one on the front-end who can help make suggestions. They may think of things you’d never otherwise have thought of, and they may be able to guide you to/away from communities worth seeing or that you shouldn’t waste your time with.

Second up, I’d suggest going and visiting even those communities around you that you doubt you’ll be called to. Even visiting a community that is a “no” might help you sharpen your sense of what you’re looking for in a “yes”! And proximity to religious life of any kind will probably have a helpful and grounding effect for your discernment. Not to mention, the consecrated religious you meet, might give you additional leads to new communities you’d never heard of.

One note, as it doesn’t sound like you’ve necessarily settled on a concrete idea of whether you want an active or contemplative order: subjectively, it sounds to me like you’re looking for an active order, not contemplative. But an active order with a strong, healthy balance of contemplative prayer. You might be surprised at how Eucharist/Adoration focused and contemplative some active communities can be.

Whereas a purely contemplative community… if you feel an itch to have “some engagement with the world and souls”, I’d be concerned that you’d start to feel dried out and unused if you joined a purely contemplative order.

Personally, before visiting communities I’d assumed that if I joined one, I’d want contemplative. Then I visited a whole range, from hyper-active to cloistered-away contemplative. And I realized that if I’m called to any order at all, it’s one specific very balanced order: active and serving those in the world, but from a strongly contemplative, Eucharist-focused, prayerful home base.

Honestly my main advice is of the super practical variety on this topic. Usually I’d say: Go visit! Go at least for a retreat weekend in a few places, and ideally (with your spiritual director’s help) find a place to try an extended aspirancy (to really figure out what ‘fits’ and what doesn’t fit). But… pandemic. So I’m not sure whether communities are allowing visitors right now even if the visitors quarantine in advance. You’d have to check with individual communities. So at least my practical advice would then be… start the conversations. With a prospective spiritual director, and with the vocations directors of nearby communities you might at least visit. This is literally what they do, helping guide people towards vocations, and they can probably give relevant guidance on how to go about discerning during this time of pandemic. Maybe some books and personal exercises to do, etc.

I just think there’s no substitute for in-person experience, ideally with more than one community. But talk to a spiritual director about prep work you can do in advance of this being possible.
 
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Are you sure that the candidate “chooses” whether or not to be ordained in this community? In many orders, the choice is up to the leaders (or, at the very least, mutual discernment). And, of course, if the clergy members are diocesan priests, then a bishop would also have a major role to play in determining who is ordained.

I mention this because a prospective candidate should know that the choice might not be theirs.
 
Yes you can choose which one of these 3 you want to enter and you can choose do you want be brother or ordinated priest. If someone isn’t called to priesthood but only brotherhood he can know it even before entering community, if it’s God’s will he will be ordained and won’t say no even then. I know a person for that example. Nobody will force someone to accept something.

In the end, OP won’t give vows at the moment he enters through door, he will know many things before he even gives first temporary vows, there is no surprises.
 
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I’m not sure if you’re looking to become a religious or a lay member of an order. Either way, they should all have a way to spend time with them and experience what they have to offer. For the lay orders, it is usually a six-month orientation period before you are accepted into the order (and years before you make your promises). I think the religious orders have orientation weekends throughout the year.
Also, you will find that there is significant overlap between orders - you really need to understand what makes an order different to compare them.
 
As you say you live in Ireland try the website for the national organisation for religious communities in Ireland here.
 
I wouldn’t dismiss the Jesuits just because some of them are liberal. Not all are liberal, there are many orthodox Jesuits.
 
All women religious are lay. Some male religious are lay (ie, brothers). I think you mean secular.
 
If you have the financial backing, a year in Rome is a good idea, to get to know lots of communities… PM me if you think that you might be interested. We will welcome you here!

-K
 
I think the specific wording depends on the order. I am a lay Dominican, but I believe that Carmelites and Franciscans use the term “secular”. I believe that cloistered Dominican nuns are considered religious.
 
They are religious, but they are lay. The opposite of lay is clergy. The opposite of secular is religious. This is universal and not order-dependent. NO woman is anything other than lay, though she may be a religious.
 
The Personal Prayer Rule is where you’re going from what you know – rising, retiring, sacraments, Liturgy of the Hours, rosary, Angelus – to what you’re discovering in your attractions. These attractions are leading you closer to God. In your case, reading up on Jesuitism and tweaking the aforementioned to how the Jesuits view them. This doesn’t involve vows of any kind. It’s just a guide to help you grow closer to God. In that PPR, you’d be working around your remunerative work. I’m assuming you’re employed, so being sweet and helpful on the job is about as far as you can go with Christian witness.

I know there are some Eucharistic/Contemplative Benedictines in Ireland. They moved from the US, but I can’t remember where they went.

The Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matara contemplatives are all women. I had seen where they had made the Spiritual Exercises, but I don’t know it that means they’re actually Jesuit.
 
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