Seeking after truth

[Jehu2077]

Greetings all. This is my first time posting on this forum, so bear with me.
I’m currently attending an ICOC church. I was raised in this tradition (if you could call it that) by my father but my mother is a Greek Orthodox convert. Long story short, after years of dabbling in Orthodoxy, Catholicism (by way of a high school girlfriend and the University i attended) and other faith traditions, i was baptized by my dad but became something of a baptist. Now I’m back attending my father’s ICOC church and i found myself interested in Catholicism again.
Here’s where things get complicated. I live with my Dad, along with my wife and infant son. I have a job lined up (left the military this past year) but I don’t start for a little while yet, so we’ll be living there for some time. Anyways, I did a lot of my own research (no RCIA yet) and concluded that the Truth of faith that I’ve sought for years is found in the Catholic Church. My father is not supportive and has been mustering everything he can from his church to change my mind. My wife is open to it until site talks to her father, who believe the Catholic Church is borderline demonic and any Christian who is Catholic couldn’t possibly stay Catholic. She has little desire to follow me into the Church.
Basically, outside of a few friends, I’m alone and at odds with almost everyone in my family. I don’t want to make my wife sound unsupportive. She is as supportive as she can bring herself to be, I believe.
All that said, I want to enter full communion with Rome, but I don’t believe I can. I don’t want to rick the boat at home any more than I have already. I don’t want to add more stress to my wife’s existence (our move has been hard on her and this makes things even harder). I want to be respectful and moving towards my father and I don’t want to do anything that could seem disrespectful while I live with him. However every Sunday that I’m at his church I wish I was at Mass. When the communion tray passes I want only the Eucharist. It feels like a forgone conclusion that I will become Catholic. So waiting seems dishonest. The only other thing holding me back is the desire to start the process at the Parish which will be my home, and I don’t know where in the city I’ll be living in 6 months. So my question. Are these reasons I’ve listed good ones for waiting to convert, or should I just get it over with?
Sorry if this post is disjointed. I had to write it over several sessions. Please ask and i’ll clarify anything. Thank you.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

I think this issue is multifaceted.

The first major issue which you are slowly realizing is the intergenerational issues you have going on here. Your father is not helping the situation but is supporting you financially. This has GOT to end.

Once you are on your own and supporting your family, then you can begin to make changes.

The second major issue is that your wife is listening to her father and not looking at what her husband is saying. You have got to know how to get through to her, to the point where she at least is not hostile.

The third major issue is the upcoming move and family instability. It’s great that you want to do everything at once—but really you need to focus on ensuring that your family is happy and comfortable before, during and after the move before you go out and do things for yourself.

 

[Edward_H]

Good questions.

I would offer this video of a young Jewish woman asking the same question of (now) St Josemaria Escriva.

This is only partially applicable because I think the woman is less than 18 and isn’t a man like you are (and former military).

But there is an element of “good sonship” that comes out in this short video (daughterhood for her; sonship for you) that may be useful for you. No matter how old we get we have to learn how to love our parents more every day in little ways and details.

You must pursue what your conscience and heart tell you to pursue, but you can do it a bit at “God’s pace” and in His way, a way of good sonship and fatherhood, deep and sincere familial friendship.

That’s the tone that comes out in this short video.

I hope it helps.

 

[Kei]

Now, I reccomend trying to convert as soon as you can. Like a bandaid.
Try to get through to your wife though, best to try your dad too.

God is patient. But what makes me give such hurrying advice is my fear at the statement of Christ that “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
Remember and keep strong that Jesus said one must hate his mother and father if He wishes to follow Him.

Not saying these apply to you, but do not let their unbelief hold back your belief. I know I can be a procrastinator as well. May God have mercy on us.

But it looks like you’ve found the Truth. That is excellent. I believe 6 months is enough time to be well taught and get first communion.

 

[Jehu2077]

Thanks for your response.
First, the time living under my Dad’s roof has largely been a positive one, even with my journey going on. It will end in several months, once we’re able to buy a house.
Second, my wife has listened to be quite a bit on this. She’s gone to Mass, spoken to a priest, even agreed to attend RCIA with me whenever I start. However, what her father says matches up with she had known to be Christian Truth for over 20 years. All of this is brand new, foreign. It took her a long time to adjust to singing old hymns at the Baptist Church we attended instead of Christian rock. I love her father. However he has truly established himself as his own Pope, and believes all the typical one dimensional attacks on the Church. That is to say, he won’t change his mind. His exact words to her were he’d be “very disappointed” if she became Catholic.
There’s no doubt it would be easier logistically to wait. I don’t know if it would be easier for my soul though.

 

[Jehu2077]

That video really nailed it. I suppose the question is can i pursue conversion while still under his roof and have it not even give the APPEARANCE of rebellion. Even though I am a man grown, a fact which he has affirmed, to leave his church completely while under his roof smacks of rebellion. But my heart has moved on already.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Thanks for your response.
First, the time living under my Dad’s roof has largely been a positive one, even with my journey going on. It will end in several months, once we’re able to buy a house.
Second, my wife has listened to be quite a bit on this. She’s gone to Mass, spoken to a priest, even agreed to attend RCIA with me whenever I start. However, what her father says matches up with she had known to be Christian Truth for over 20 years. All of this is brand new, foreign. It took her a long time to adjust to singing old hymns at the Baptist Church we attended instead of Christian rock. I love her father. However he has truly established himself as his own Pope, and believes all the typical one dimensional attacks on the Church. That is to say, he won’t change his mind. His exact words to her were he’d be “very disappointed” if she became Catholic.
There’s no doubt it would be easier logistically to wait. I don’t know if it would be easier for my soul though.

Part of my perspective is what is going to be good for not only your soul, but your wife’s and children’s souls. Being married means your life is not about you.

One of the reasons it is important to wait is that you now realize that you are becoming a representative of the Church. Every time you are absent either in mind or body from the home that she’s wrangling the kids or packing/unpacking by herself is going to cause resentment.

You can still learn much on your own, but it is vital that you approach this and create the smallest burden for your family as possible. Your call to sacrifice to your family can ease your soul for the time being.

 

[Edward_H]

You also have your father’s relationship with God to hold in mind.

Tough one.

I recommend prayer, lots of it. Pose questions to God. Lots of chatter with Him. Ask Him "how urgent is this, can You buy me some time? Can you give me extra grace to live this remaining time with Dad very very well, great and ever deeper friendship? Make a way for me…“Lotd that I may see”.

Lots of prayer. Learn to chatter with Him, perhaps near a tabernacle in. Catholic Church. God wants peace and unity and self gift and wisdom and prudence and more chatter all in the family He gave you!! He put you in this tough spot and He sees how great great good can come from it for your whole family and of course for your Dad.

So ask Him to show you the way toward this supernatural goal.

"Lord, this is too dicey for me…show me a way that works for both You and Dad. Help me to be the most loving son I can be to both You and Dad. You are so smart; You will take care of us. You are taking care of this. Give me a miracle. All for Dad and for You not for me. I will do whatever You indicate, trustingly.

Good luck.

Going to look for another video for you. It was similar.

 

[Edward_H]

I’m sorry that this is another video about St Josemaria.

This is about a priest who was drawn to Opus Dei and his family wanted something else.

Similar but different from your situation; I understand.

But the way to an answer is prayer and some self denial and humility.

The priest has a heavy Spanish accent but it’s easy enough to understand.

 

[Jehu2077]

Thank you all so much. I already feel more at peace about this. I will dedicate more prayer to my family. So many have prayed for me and I’ve seen the power of it.
I will do my best to live as much of my faith as I can without causing distress to my loved ones, and pray that God will guide me along the path He has shown me.

 

[Jehu2077]

I have a follow on to this thread. There has been lots of prayer on my part, some fasting, some spiritual highs and deep lows of the last few days.
Something has changed, and it has changed my outlook on this question quite a bit.
My wife is pregnant. Very early on (4-5 weeks at most) and we are both excited to say the least.
However, now I feel a sense of urgency. Our son will barely be a year and a half old when this new child comes. I will only be several months into my new job. Time for anything besides my family will be extremely limited. I’m not saying there will be no time for God. Quite the opposite. I will need God more than ever, and I believe I will need the fullness of the faith by the time this child is born.
So i have more questions. I want to start the process of entering the Church ASAP, while still being careful and sensitive to my family. Does this seem right?
I also want to be able to commit to raising my children in the faith. This is where my wife comes in. She isn’t there yet, and she isn’t sure she would be comfortable baptizing our children into the Church. But I’m afraid that if I wait, I will be making the situation harder than it is even now.
What is it like when one spouse converts and there are children involved?
Needless to say, i will continue to pray and to fast. I feel the need to connect to a Catholic community here now more than ever though, no matter what. Am I right in this feeling? Has anyone been through something similar before? I can’t help but feel that God is moving the time closer, not further away. Any thoughts on this? Thank you all.