Selecting a Confirmation Sponsor

[GerLocke]

Given the expectations of what a confirmation sponsor is expected to do, would it make sense for me to choose someone who I am unable to communicate with due to not sharing a common language? Specifically, these are some items that made me question one of my possible choices:

1. Your sponsor should be willing and able to participate in your formation for Confirmation.
   They should be willing and able to attend certain Confirmation sessions.
2. Your sponsor should be someone that you trust and feel comfortable turning to for help,
   advice and guidance, especially in regard to your spiritual life.
3. After you receive the Sacrament of Confirmation your relationship with your sponsor
   DOES NOT END! You both are called to lead each other closer to God, to continue to
   grow in knowledge of your faith, and to challenge one another to lead lives of holiness
   and service.

I though of this family relative, but then I realized that some of these things may not be possible for them to fulfill, given that we do not understand each other’s languages.

I was also considering and uncle that I really like, but he is not attending church, and I know he is living in sin, because we have spoken about it at length.

Please help!

 

[Phemie]

Given the expectations of what a confirmation sponsor is expected to do, would it make sense for me to choose someone who I am unable to communicate with due to not sharing a common language? Specifically, these are some items that made me question one of my possible choices:

1. Your sponsor should be willing and able to participate in your formation for Confirmation.
   They should be willing and able to attend certain Confirmation sessions.
2. Your sponsor should be someone that you trust and feel comfortable turning to for help,
   advice and guidance, especially in regard to your spiritual life.
3. After you receive the Sacrament of Confirmation your relationship with your sponsor
   DOES NOT END! You both are called to lead each other closer to God, to continue to
   grow in knowledge of your faith, and to challenge one another to lead lives of holiness
   and service.

I though of this family relative, but then I realized that some of these things may not be possible for them to fulfill, given that we do not understand each other’s languages.

I was also considering and uncle that I really like, but he is not attending church, and I know he is living in sin, because we have spoken about it at length.

Please help!

It certainly would be better if the person could accompany you and you could communicate with each other. What made you consider this person you can’t communicate with?

You’re uncle doesn’t seem to meet the Church requirements:
Can. 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must: 1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;
2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;
3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;
4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;
5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.

 

[pianistclare]

Given the expectations of what a confirmation sponsor is expected to do, would it make sense for me to choose someone who I am unable to communicate with due to not sharing a common language? Specifically, these are some items that made me question one of my possible choices:

1. Your sponsor should be willing and able to participate in your formation for Confirmation.
   They should be willing and able to attend certain Confirmation sessions.
2. Your sponsor should be someone that you trust and feel comfortable turning to for help,
   advice and guidance, especially in regard to your spiritual life.
3. After you receive the Sacrament of Confirmation your relationship with your sponsor
   DOES NOT END! You both are called to lead each other closer to God, to continue to
   grow in knowledge of your faith, and to challenge one another to lead lives of holiness
   and service.’
   I though of this family relative, but then I realized that some of these things may not be possible for them to fulfill, given that we do not understand each other’s languages.

I was also considering and uncle that I really like, but he is not attending church, and I know he is living in sin, because we have spoken about it at length.

Please help!

Perhaps one of your catechists would be a more suitable choice, given both of those situations. The pastors here require a letter of recommendation for the sponsor’s pastor before they approved to sponsor.

 

[GerLocke]

Thanks for the info. What prompted my question was that when I suggested the person that doesn’t speak my language, my father asked my mother if she thinks it would be better if my sponsor and I shared a common language, given what a sponsor is supposed to be able to do for me. My mother got - very - upset with my father and asked him why he has to bring “race” into the decision. My father made no mention of race, just the fact that my sponsor would not be able to give me counsel, etc. Was my father wrong or insensitive for asking that question? I noticed that when he said his brother would not make a good sponsor, my mother had no problem with that!

Confused… someone give me a little advice or guidance?

 

[pianistclare]

Thanks for the info. What prompted my question was that when I suggested the person that doesn’t speak my language, my father asked my mother if she thinks it would be better if my sponsor and I shared a common language, given what a sponsor is supposed to be able to do for me. My mother got - very - upset with my father and asked him why he has to bring “race” into the decision. My father made no mention of race, just the fact that my sponsor would not be able to give me counsel, etc. Was my father wrong or insensitive for asking that question? I noticed that when he said his brother would not make a good sponsor, my mother had no problem with that!

Confused… someone give me a little advice or guidance?

I think I see what’s happening here.
Your mother perceives the role of “sponsor” as something honorary and that it should be bestowed on relative, and in a certain pecking order or else scandal ensues.

Your Confirmation sponsor is one who will support you in faith, pray for you, encourage you to keep gong to Mass, practicing your faith well, and generally walk the Christian path with you. If you cannot communicate with this person, that’s an issue. Certainly he can pray for you, but let’s suppose, for argument’s sake that you become very disillusioned with your parish, or someone representing the Church and you quit worshiping and receiving Eucharist. Would this person be able and willing to sit down with you and help you work through this, perhaps encouraging you to speak to your pastor, or take some time for spiritual reflection so that you could get past this issue?
Or is this person just going to be a name entered in the sacramental register and never really have a conversation with you about faith ever again?
We have many families from a couple of cultures in our parish that see Padrino/Madrinas
as some kind of family matter. Kind of like having a maiden cousin in your wedding because you mom thinks you can’t leave her out without causing family drama.
Sponsors for Baptism and Confirmation are much more than just people you want to feel special.
It IS a big honor, but it’s also a big responsibility.

 

[MissRose73]

I chose my godmother (my aunt) because she was living her faith and involved in her church (and still is doing both to this day but much further away from me but she was local at the time). When I do see her, I can see her good examples of faith and family life, so I do not regret my choice of sponsor.

 

[AKDee]

I think you would be well served to select a sponsor who will be there for you. My sponsor is devout but very busy traveling for work and unfortunately wasn’t there for me during the RCIA process and I was pretty much left on my own. I saw other people in RCIA had their sponsors attending with them, and had a much closer relationship, and I kind of wished for that. There are still things I don’t understand that I think I would understand if I had a sponsor that was around to ask- things we didn’t learn in RCIA but that seem to be an integral part of being Catholic. This forum is helping to fill in some of those blanks.