Sensitive at every Mass?

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I never used to feel emotional at all during a Mass. I’ve always felt reverence and respect, of course, and the closeness to God while praying and being there, but lately, I seem to be getting worse. Almost every Sunday morning, for the endurance of the entire service, I feel very deeply. It happened again this morning, which is a perfect example of what I go through just about every week. I get there in the few minutes before it starts, kneel, and while I’m finishing saying my silent prayers, and I say in my mind “Through the Name of Jesus Christ I pray,” this is the start of my being affected. There are instant tears which I fight, but they are enough to have to dab my eyes. It’s for no reason. Nothing going on in my life to make me feel this way. Just sitting there, listening to the music being practiced before the service starts. This morning, I recognized the hymn right away as “Baptized in Water” (to the tune of “Morning Has Broken”) and I thought of the verse in this song “Born of one Father, we are His children”…and that set me off again. The same thing. I had only seconds ago dabbed my eyes with a Kleenex, and thought I would be fine, then I had to hear that and think of those words in the song, and my heart tightened and the tears threatened to start again. I’m very uncomfortable with being this way. Thankfully, I’m never sobbing or making a mess of myself, but the tears are definitely there, and they start to trickle and I have to quickly catch them with the Kleenex I keep held on my lap. It’s terrible. I know it’s supposed to be beautiful, and I’ve heard of what they call “the gift of tears,” but I don’t want to be this way! I care and all, but I hate being emotional in public and only save that for when I am alone with no one to see. The tears I have are not tears of joy. I would describe them more as tears of deep emotion, or even sadness. When I thought of that verse “We are His children”, I felt deeply touched by it, and I also felt sorrow for those who reject the love He offers them. He calls them His children, and yet they hate and reject Him. I also get especially affected during “Eye Has Not Seen.” I think of the beauty and love that awaits us all, and I feel deep sorrow over the thought of loss for those who have chosen to turn away.
What is happening to me? Why do I have to get this way at every Sunday morning Mass? I try and fight it, will myself that it won’t happen, and it never fails. Sometimes, just walking up to the doors of the church, seeing quotes written on the stones or imprinted into the glass in the doors, the silence and stillness of the morning, is enough to weaken me and I know there are going to be tears. I don’t know if this is a case of just being an overly emotional female, or that I am too sensitive and deep feeling, or if this is something spiritual. I don’t talk to a priest or spiritual director or psychiatrist about it. I’ve just been enduring it alone, because I don’t think it’s serious enough to warrant real help for it. What are your honest thoughts? Does it sound as though I’m being a little too sensitive, to have this happen every week? I can understand a time or two here and there of being emotionally touched, but to have it happen every single time?
Any thoughts I would be interested in reading, as well as others who might go through this same thing that I go through.
Also to add, this morning before I left I even prayed “Don’t let me get that way again, please don’t,” and it ended up being one of my especially deep times.
:bighanky:
 
Welcome to my world…:). My eyes well up with tears at virtually every Mass, especially before Holy Communion. I have to consciously fight to stop the tears from rolling down my face. I don’t know why I get so emotional. I guess I am just extremely thankful to God for calling me back to His Church.

I can still remember last Easter. Our parish was very crowded. I found a seat all the way in the back. After Communion as I was kneeling and thanking God for allowing me to receive His Body and Blood, a single tear streamed down my face. It was so unexpected because I hadn’t felt my eyes well up. I quickly wiped it away and looked around to see if anyone had noticed. I don’t know why I was embarrassed because it was a very special moment between God and I.

The same thing happens to me in the confessional. I get choked up every time.

I guess I’m becoming an emotional person…😃
 
Crown_of_Stars said:
…

What are your honest thoughts? Does it sound as though I’m being a little too sensitive, to have this happen every week? I can understand a time or two here and there of being emotionally touched, but to have it happen every single time?
Any thoughts I would be interested in reading, as well as others who might go through this same thing that I go through.
Also to add, this morning before I left I even prayed “Don’t let me get that way again, please don’t,” and it ended up being one of my especially deep times.
:bighanky:
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Where we come from, we are taught not to be overly emotional and it’s not a positive thing. It’s a sign of weakness. Moreover, for us men, we are told that men do not cry. Thus tears are often associated with emotion, and rightly too.

So we fight back tears, we deny it.

Just to share with you, I too had that experience in the mass but not necessarily at the beginning. At any time during the mass, there would be a part where I am touched, and tears just flow. What an embarrassment especially if your daughter noticed that her dad cried.

Fortunately, I was taught that tears were not totally bad. It is in fact bad if we do not have tears. In Christ, it is ok to show weaknesses for it is a fact that we are weak.

Now, about crying in the mass. I would say it is a positive thing considering the magnitude of what the mass represents. It is Calvary all over again, and then we realize that it happens exactly because of us. Jesus died for you and me.

When this fact is being ingrained into us, something in us responds and we can be overwhelmed. How is that a mighty God should love us that much that He is willing to die for us?

Sometimes we may not realize that we are responding but our mind and sub-consciousness do not lie to us.

It cannot be a bad thing to cry in the mass. Jesus himself cried, one when he overlooked Jerusalem and another at the death of his good friend, Lazarus. He felt sad because he was compassionate – for the destruction of Jerusalem and for the death of Lazarus perhaps at how it affected his family/sisters.

Tears are expression of our inner soul. You would know what and why that is inside of you. Perhaps it is sadness because you did not measure up to God’s glory and therefore want to respond into deep repentance or perhaps you are joyful because you have been saved, despite what you are, by the blood that was shed on the cross.

I would say, embrace it, sister, that you could feel the mass deeply because Jesus feels for us and it is definitely not lightly.

God bless.
 
I have had this too on rare occasions ,
Don’t worry to much about It ,
It’s just because you have given your life & Soul to Jesus,
Nothing to feel embarrassed about,
Enjoy it, just pray in thanks and gratitude you have this blessing ,🙂
 
Never at Mass but there was one Holy Week I wept non stop . Literally non stop the entire week.

As I am and was alone. mattered not .
 
I think God is doing a beautiful work in you and this could lead to a deep prayer life.
 
Welcome to my life too! It has happened in the last year.
At communion, during the homily, seeing those that are suffering, etc. The other week at adoration I couldn’t even say the Devine Mercy Chaplet it was so bad!!! I don’t like it either, but it seems to be out of my hands.🤷
Keep facial tissue stocked!!!
 
Why is anyone embarrassed by their tears though? You should never be embarrassed by your emotions.

OP, maybe you would feel better if you discuss this with your parish priest. He may be able to reassure you that all is well.
 
Never fails, at our communion hymn. I search for the angels, in tears…

The hosts of angels have come to stand with us at the holy altar.
They sing in chorus and carry Christ, the Lamb, sacrificed before us.
O come, receive him, the saving Lamb of God, who will grant forgiveness.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Why is anyone embarrassed by their tears though? You should never be embarrassed by your emotions.
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I have been admonished by clergy and laity, alike. I now know it is a gift. It is joy and sorrow. Those who show no emotion are psychopaths.
 
Welcome the emotion. It is the Holy Spirit that has moved you to do so. God bless.
 
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

“Behave now! Quit crying and be good.”
Crying seems to have a negative connotation. Even my boss told me, “Don’t cry in the office. Don’t let the men see you cry, because they will discredit you for being too emotional.”

“Learn to be indifferent.”

These are always things people say when you cry. Don’t worry, it’s none of their business when you are in church.

I wrote a poem about being at a funeral of a loved one. It seems that people always monitor others, and one of the things that get me is when they start bringing up material concerns. They mean well, but it’s no time to ask what you will do with your deceased loved one’s car.

Meanwhile, keep a stiff upper lip and pop a pill if you don’t want to cry. Although, even pills cannot get around the purging of the soul by the Holy Spirit.
 
Casilda said:
I have been admonished by clergy and laity, alike. I now know it is a gift. It is joy and sorrow. Those who show no emotion are psychopaths.
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The Holy Spirit has many different gifts and he gives them to whom he wishes. Love happens to be one. When someone loves Jesus deeply thru the Holy Spirit, tears is one result. This too happened to the women who poured the ointment on Jesus and let her tears wash his feet, and then dried them with her hair. Out of this also comes from love, a joy of being aware of his closeness and goodness.

But I do think I would choose another word than psychopaths, maybe dryness in the Mass. It seems Mother Teresa went thru some such dryness.
 
phil_at_dayboro said:
I have had this too on rare occasions ,
Don’t worry to much about It ,
It’s just because you have given your life & Soul to Jesus,
Nothing to feel embarrassed about,
Enjoy it, just pray in thanks and gratitude you have this blessing ,🙂
Click to expand...
I used to cry at Mass after I returned after a 24 year absence but not since, with the exception of when a couple different priests left, each at different times, and I got choked up last year during a church gathering-fundraiser, just grateful to be part of a parish community again. And I’ve been back over10 years.
 
When I returned to the Church after an absence of 27 years I spent the first four months crying during the consecration at every Mass. My emotions were mixed: great joy at being back and great sadness because I realized what I had cut myself off from when I left the Church.

I still occasionally cry during Mass but not every week any more.

There is nothing wrong with crying during Mass. What you describe is a gift from God. It will likely pass in time.
 
Thanks for all the thoughts. I’ve also read the articles on the “gift of tears” in the links posted before in this thread. I’m pretty sure that must be what I have, though I can’t really, really know. I figured I wasn’t the only one. It’s always nice to know you aren’t the only one. I’m still wanting to try and fight it though. I do find it beautiful, but I enjoy the Mass more when I’m not getting all this way…:bighanky:
 
This is interesting and affirms my calling to solitude in so many ways… Thank you.
 
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