Several Questions about sins

  • Thread starter Thread starter gchinchilla22
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
G

gchinchilla22

Guest
Hello.
It’s been a while since I’ve wrote on here. I’m going to confession soon and every time I go through an examination of conscious but have to wait a while to go to confession, the list gets longer and longer and sometimes I don’t know if I’m accusing myself of sins I haven’t even done. I start feeling physically ill and am consumed by writing down everything. I feel like I’m scrupulous but that doesn’t mean there aren’t sins. I do have almost every form of OCD in the book, at some point or another in my life–sexual OCD, blasphemous OCD (which hits me a lot lately), germ OCD etc. AndI suffer from intrusive thoughts.
But I have a few questions.
Is making a inappropriate comment about an actor a sin. We were watching a show several years ago and this actor was wearing tight pants and ‘things’ were visible. Is noticing a joking about it a sin? Is noticing it in another movie they are in and again joking about it a sin?
Is listening and singing along to music with God’s name in it a sin–for instance “Running up that Hill” by Placebo. I also sang along to “Personal Jesus” by Depeche Mode without remembering how inappropriate that song was and felt gross about it.
Is snacking and eating desserts a sin?
Is eating while not hungry a sin? I read a video that says it isn’t, but then there is a quote by St. Thomas Aquinas that seems to suggest it is. If so is it mortal?
Is unintentional arousal a sin. If I’m reading anything remotely sexual–Song of Songs, Theology of the body, forums on here asking about sexual stuff, sexual crime reports, or watching Tv with kissing etc, it happens. I even had it happen while reading about female wellness checks and got worried that it would happen if I had that checkup done. It makes me feel that reading any of these things is a sin because it happens and doesnt stop. I dont enjoy it.
I was also wondering about kissing? Is thinking about kissing, or kissing someone a sin? Is reading about kissing or writing a scene with kissing a sin? I’m not lusting or thinking about it to induce sexual pleasure or anything–so not lusting, so I was wondering?
Also if anyone else says God’s name in vain it repeats in my head, and I try to fix it by turning it to gosh. Mental fixing is a sign of OCD, but I don’t really know if I’ve said it. It also happens with cuss words too.
Thank you. I’m sorry if that is a long post, I just have a hard time with this.
 
I am really so sorry you’re struggling so much.

Are you receiving medical treatment for your OCD? If not, please talk to your doctor as soon as possible.

Please talk to your Priest about this. He is the best person to help you, because he knows you and he will be able to guide you. Asking people online whether or not things are sins will actually hinder you because it’s like trying to fix a broken leg with a band-aid. It may bring temporary relief, but in the long term you need to talk to people who can help you break this cycle - your doctor, your Priest, and also a therapist.

Again, I’m so sorry you’re struggling right now ♥️
 
Also, my priest told me not to confess past mortal sins because they were forgiven and people do not need to bring up remembered ones. He also said not to worry much about the number of times I’ve done things. But that is wrong. He’s rather a new priest but I feel like he should still know that you must confess those things. I did a general confession and after he told me not to confess anymore mortal sins if I remember them. At my last confession, with another priest I confessed remembered mortal sins. Now I have more that I remember and I won’t have any peace if I don’t confess them. I feel I need to confess them and then confess disobedience and presumption of God’s mercy which is stressing me out. Also should I confess to things that in the past I feel I didn’t give enough detail about.
Also, at my last confession I don’t think the priest heard some of what I said because we were sitting far apart and wearing masks. He said “what was that?” I repeated myself, asked him if he’d heard the stuff before and briefly went back over it. If he couldn’t hear me shouldn’t he have said something sooner? Maybe I’m over thinking this. Regardless, I wouldn’t know what he did or didn’t hear.
I also had another theological question. I heard from someone that if the priest says the absolution wrong then the confession is invalid. In past confession if you did not realize they messed up (I dont remember if they did or didn’t). Then wouldn’t God still forgive you seems how its the priest who messed up and you confessed your sins in good faith, and asked for repentance. I feel like God would make provision for priests messing up. Imagine making a confession and then going to hell because the priest messed up and you didn’t notice. Also so priests have to give you penance in order for the confession to be valid. Thanks
 
As you have an issue along the lines of scrupulosity, the matter needs to be taken up with your confessor, not with unknown and unqualified people on the internet.

Find a confessor, explain to him (preferrably not in confession) that you have this problem, and work with him. Stick with him, and preferably schedule a time for your confession other than the regular schedule if your session is going to be long - others need to go to confession also,

I understand you have a hard time - it is a heavy load you carry. But we can’t help you - your confessor can.
 
Thank you. It’s just really difficult. I don’t know how to find a spiritual director or a good Catholic therapist. I’m on here though because I feel like I have no one to talk too. I don’t have any friends and I don’t think my family would believe I have OCD. I’ve brought it up a few times and it gets shrugged off.
 
I struggle with this too. You should call catholic charities in your diocese to connect you with a therapist. And maybe get a spiritual director.

They key to overcoming it is obeying what the priest tells you in confession. If he says something is not sinful you have to trust him. I understand it’s easy to doubt but you need to do so.
 
gchinchilla22 said:
Thank you. It’s just really difficult. I don’t know how to find a spiritual director or a good Catholic therapist. I’m on here though because I feel like I have no one to talk too. I don’t have any friends and I don’t think my family would believe I have OCD. I’ve brought it up a few times and it gets shrugged off.
Click to expand...
I’m really sorry your family aren’t supportive. Please talk to your Priest about a spiritual director, he will be able to help you. You can also ask him if he knows of any Catholic therapists, or talk to your doctor about seeking one. But please, please talk to a medical professional about your OCD. Even if it is a non-Catholic counselor, because you really deserve to be free of these thoughts.
 
Thanks. I just get worried about the priests here sometimes.One is married, one is liberal, and one is very new–I prefer him the most but like I said. He thinks you don’t have to confess remembered mortal sins. My favorite was the one who used to be here-he was very traditional and gave good advice but he’s now moved away. I did schedule a time (for Thursday which is far away but the only time he had) because I wanted to take my time, get advice and not hog the confessional. We also don’t have very many confession times in my parish. But again, I don’t know what my motives were. Was what I just mentioned my motives or did I just want to sleep in IDK.
 
I don’t have a therapist. They’re expensive. I also live in Washington which is incredibly liberal so I get worried about “Catholic Therapists” and stuff
 
Thank you. When I get told something isn’t a sin I believe it. But the not confessing past mortal sins advice I was given is morally wrong which makes it hard to trust.
 
gchinchilla22 said:
I don’t have a therapist. They’re expensive. I also live in Washington which is incredibly liberal so I get worried about “Catholic Therapists” and stuff
Click to expand...
Well, I happen to live just south of your border, so I can understand what liberal is. However, you are making judgement out of context as to therapists. And while I use that word advisedly, I can refer to marriage counselors (psychologists) who are very committed to the Magisterium - but that does not mean they will not give advice that some people would feel incorrect. And the answer to that is that the individual who feels that way is most likely the wrong one.

If you have health insurance, I would recommend therapy - and working in conjunction with your doctor (and make sure they actually know much of anything about treating OCD). Granted not all plans have coverage, and those which do may be unequal. But I suspect you are making decisions on what you think, rather than what may be true. Which is another way of saying you may have an opinion, not facts.
 
Thanks for the advice. It’s not so much that I’m judgmental but being prudent. I’m cautious about the idea of counseling. A Therapist who is not deeply rooted in the faith can do more harm than good. I’m not saying all are liberal but that I’m hesitant to start seeing a therapist who may turn out to be misleading.
 
gchinchilla22 said:
Thank you. It’s just really difficult. I don’t know how to find a spiritual director or a good Catholic therapist. I’m on here though because I feel like I have no one to talk too. I don’t have any friends and I don’t think my family would believe I have OCD. I’ve brought it up a few times and it gets shrugged off.
Click to expand...
I highly recommend finding a doctor to help treat your OCD. That’s what they’re there for. I think once the medical side has been addressed then you can start working on the spiritual aspect with your priest.
 
@gchinchilla22, after reading your original post, I just wanted to say, “whoa, slow down, take a breath”. I think your OCD is getting the better of you.

Most of what you asked are not sins.

As for past mortal sins that you suddenly remember - I was away from confession for years when I started going back about 25 years ago. Every couple of weeks I would go to the same priest and mention the current sins as well as some past sins I remembered.

The Priest said, after a few months, “You know, those past sins are forgiven. God knows them, even if you just remembered them. You don’t need to bring them up. You are forgiven for all your sins when you confess and are granted absolution, even those you have forgotten.”
 
gchinchilla22 said:
I don’t have a therapist. They’re expensive
Click to expand...
Look at what your insurance covers. Contact county social services about sliding scale services. Also contact Catholic Charities.
gchinchilla22 said:
I also live in Washington which is incredibly liberal so I get worried about “Catholic Therapists” and stuff
Click to expand...
Your therapist doesn’t need to be Catholic to treat OCD. But there are Catholic therapists. Don’t delay. You have an illness.
 
I agree thy don’t need to be Catholic but it can be tricky. For instance CBT which is the main way to treat OCD involves exposure to what bothers you and sitting with the discomfort. If they purposefully tell you to think of something sinful or wrong and sit with it, then that’s not okay as a Catholic. There has to be other approaches used.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top