Severe addiction...please pray

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CM_Peacecraft

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Hello all, I am new here…

I have come here to ask for some intercessory prayers from you guys, as I know very few Catholics personally. I am suffering from a terrible addiction to various sexual sins. I have suffered from it since I was rather young, in fact, I simply cannot remember a time where I did not have a compulsive drive in this area (to the point where I think something medically is wrong with me). I have tried many times, and failed, to kick the habits, but it’s come to the point where I seem to have little to no control anymore. I can get no one to take me seriously on this as no one seems to really recognize it as a serious problem, and I have no reliable support in my battle. Close friends have grown tired of hearing about it and can’t do anything anyway about it. I am only 20 years old, but the daily battle with this problem has worn me down considerably…I feel like I have lived for an incredibly long time as everyday is another set of failures against this. You’d be surprised what being in near constant mortal sin will do to you.

Obviously my spiritual life has been completely crippled all these years, and now it’s getting to the point where I am fearing for my physical life. As time wears on, I grow more concerned as the “highs” that come from this addiction require greater and greater stimuli. I don’t know what’s going to become of me. I dream of being a saintly priest or husband one day, but…the degree I am afflicted by this makes me wonder if I shouldn’t forgo both as I really do not feel fit for either anymore. I wonder sometimes if it’s already too late. Am I doomed to be an addict till I meet my Judge?

I don’t know how many will read this, but please pray for me if you do. Even a hail mary. I am on the edge of despair, and don’t want to go back over that edge. I pray, but I don’t think the Lord hears me much anymore, not after all I have done. I don’t know how longer I can continue on this endless cycle. I’m useless to God and the Church like this, and considering they are the center of my life, it’s surely a hellish thing to have this crushing you.
 
Ok, first, step back, breath, put your foot forward towards God first and foremost within prayer yourself.

Know this is no different then any other sin we all face, do not let the evil one beat you up with remorse over it, telling you that you have gone too far and that God doesn’t love you any more, or in your case, where you say you are useless to him, in fact, just the opposite, it’s better to know up front how weak you are compared to deceiving yourself into thinking you live a righteous life, yet are lying to yourself, which is much more common these days.

Place your focus “away” from the sin and place it towards his Love, his promise, his sacrifice, his mercy and his grace and let his words through scripture soak into your thought process by saturating yourself with it, you will find there is no room for the world “and” the word, one has to go, and as you know, He that is in you is greater then he that is in the world, that you fight from victory, not defeat and you will find during the weak times, reading his word tends to keep your focus on him, not what’s going on with your troubles…

You will find yourself fail, this is going to happen, the defining element, you get right back up, acknowledge his forgiveness and start over. This, like any other habitual sin is not like flipping a light switch, it’s a process, this same process we all face, for the flesh struggles against the spirit, and the battle is always between the two, yet know the deeper you get into your understanding and faith, the more you are able to resist temptation, the easier the process is, and you will find Christ will give you complete freedom from this and all other sins, only if you let him, and only if you place it all at his feet, acknowledging that you cannot do this by yourself, that you need his help.

The bottom line here, commit yourself to him and let him work through you, to make his presence known, and you will find yourself further and further away from the worlds ways.

Another piece of advice, turn off the tv, avoid any and all modern media if at all possible, you will find our modern times bombard you with sexual imagry through it, and this is a huge element why so many people have problems in this area.

God’s speed to you brother, know that our Lord is with you at all times no matter what and is always very close to you, regardless of what you do, or don’t do, his Love is offered to you at all times, don’t be blind to it.
 
Thank you all for your prayers. I need people holier than me to pray for my soul 🙂

Prodigalson.
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I highly appreciate it and your prayers.

The problem for me is that I do see these sins as unique. They are all grave, and at least over the amount of time i’ve had them, have done some really bad psychological damage. Or perhaps it’s simply the lengths the addiction pushes me to that are most troubling. Hard to tell.

I just wish there was a way I could hope for freedom from this (at least in greater part). I don’t want to spend my life tripping over myself constantly in mortal sin, having to begin again constantly on the spiritual journey. I want to be able, sooner than later, to be able to let go of myself completely and in whatever state of life God wishes for me, be for Him and others. These sins make one so…self centered, both in one’s selfish sexual practices as well as the remorse and self absorption that are caused by it. And spiritually, well, if I am living a life of compulsory grave sin, how is it I can benefit others in my prayers? That’s always troubled me, as there is so much I want to fix in my little world through prayer, more things than I can count. And not enough time to do so.

But I will try and do as you suggested and will try and hope that I am still useful to God, even when I can’t imagine how I am. I do not often think I often please Him, and I would prefer to do something once in a while that actually made Him smile. Not that our God is harsh, I’m just not that great…

Pax et Bonum
 
Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen
 
Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
Lord Jesus,You said,
“I have come to set the captives free.”
We are captive and need Your healing touch.
Free us, Lord, from our addictions,
so that we will be:
…free from the cares and worries that stifle our happiness;
…free from sins that cling to us, and to which we cling;
…free from all compulsive behavior
that prevents us from becoming what You, Lord,
have planned for us.
Bring us, loving Savior,
to the experience of abundantlife
which You promised.

Amen.
 
Continued prayers……

O Lord, Holy Father, omnipotent and eternal God, I give You thanks and I bless Your holy name. I know I’m a poor miserable sinner but hear a cause that is just, pay heed to my cry, turn your ear to my prayer, no deceit is on my lips. Amen

For your intentions

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Lord Jesus, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for help. Amen
 
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