Severely anxious and depressed during pregnancy

[ellam25]

Hi everyone, I am 6.5 months pregnant, and I am making it through every day with nothing but worry and sadness. I battled infertility for 2.5 years and when I first became pregnant I was sooo happy. I am still happy to be able to be a mommy, but lately I have been having anxious thoughts, constantly worrying that something is going to happen where my baby is going to die, or im going to die, or something horrible will happen, I don’t know, I am constantly looking at the news and everytime I see something about a disease, accidents etc I get a little more anxious and unhappy. Even stuff about planets destroying us or volcanos and earthquakes blowing up make me extremely anxious and I am almost afraid to leave the house. I stopped working on the baby’s nursery because I keep thinking what is the point? There might not even be a tomorrow. I have tried talking to family and they blow me off as being silly. I a m not officially part of a parish as we move around a lot, and I am not sure about talking to a priest. I don’t even know if I trust doctors anymore, after all the stuff I see about them on the news. I just don’t know what to do anymore, I cry almost everyday and when my husband leaves for work he has to keep in constant toouch with me (he carpools) or I start to assume the worst. Please help.

 

[Xantippe]

Hi everyone, I am 6.5 months pregnant, and I am making it through every day with nothing but worry and sadness. I battled infertility for 2.5 years and when I first became pregnant I was sooo happy. I am still happy to be able to be a mommy, but lately I have been having anxious thoughts, constantly worrying that something is going to happen where my baby is going to die, or im going to die, or something horrible will happen, I don’t know, I am constantly looking at the news and everytime I see something about a disease, accidents etc I get a little more anxious and unhappy. Even stuff about planets destroying us or volcanos and earthquakes blowing up make me extremely anxious and I am almost afraid to leave the house. I stopped working on the baby’s nursery because I keep thinking what is the point? There might not even be a tomorrow. I have tried talking to family and they blow me off as being silly. I a m not officially part of a parish as we move around a lot, and I am not sure about talking to a priest. I don’t even know if I trust doctors anymore, after all the stuff I see about them on the news. I just don’t know what to do anymore, I cry almost everyday and when my husband leaves for work he has to keep in constant toouch with me (he carpools) or I start to assume the worst. Please help.

Talk to your OB/GYN about this in detail at your next appointment. Or, if that’s going to take a while, make an appointment to talk about your symptoms as soon as you can be seen.

“Research has shown that up to 33 percent of women experience clinical depression or an anxiety disorder at some point during pregnancy.”

parents.com/pregnancy/my-life/emotions/depressed/

It is important to get your doctor’s attention about this right now, because you’re going to be really busy during the postpartum period and won’t be as able to take care of yourself. Talk to your doctor about postpartum depression, what the warning signs are, etc. Also, it would probably be a good idea to take your husband to that appointment so that after the baby is born, he knows to keep an eye on you and help you take care of yourself. It’s 6 weeks between birth and the standard postpartum appointment–it may be that you are going to need more medical support than that.

Also, make sure that you are set up with good postpartum help at home.

 

[underacloud]

Firstly - stop watching the news! (I’m serious)

Secondly - do you have friends to reach out to?

Thirdly - yes, please talk to your priest, and start to get involved in your parish community. Catholic parishes are great places to share your family journey with other like-minded people. There will almost certainly be people who will understand your concerns and will have been through similar issues.

Forthly - as Xantippe addressed, you need to deal with this from a medical perspective. Talk to your doctor soon and as openly as possible.

 

[Lily_Bernans]

I agree with the other posters. You really, really, really NEED to bring this to the attention of your OB/GYN NOW. Make a special appointment to do so if you have to. You can’t take anti-depressants now, but you should probably take them as soon as you deliver and bottle feed your baby. Postpartum depression can be dangerous to the sufferer and those around her, through no fault of her own. To feel your best and take good care of your baby you need medical care. Talking to your priest is fine, but you also need to speak to your doctor.

And I agree, give up the news until you’re feeling better. They report on the worst possible things and with your hormones all topsy-turvy your imagination is running away with you.

 

[dont_lose_heart]

I agree with all the other comments; but most importantly pray…

1. Start a Novena to St Gerard, St Philomena, Mary the Undoer of Knots etc
2. Each day offer your prayers up for the health and well being of your child and for you to be strong in trust and well being.
3. Read a book of spiritual encouragement (Your Labor of Love) by Agnes m Penny, is a great inspiration.
4. Consecrate all your worries and anxiety to Our Lady, when you feel anxious pray the Hail Mary.
5. Find a priest, to talk to as a spiritual director during this time.

Here’s a prayer for you to start with:

Lord, there has been too much change in my life recently, and I feel overwhelmed. Because I try to be a responsible person, I sometimes forget that it is unwise for me to allow my sense of duty to override my common sense.
Lord, help me to allow myself more time to rest, relax, and pray. Guide me toward something spiritual to read every day and a quiet time afterwards to reflect on what I have read and how it pertains to my life. I truly want to simplify my life and live more as Christ did. Help me remember that there is no loss or problem I must face alone. You are always near, with Your love and compassion to comfort me. Amen.

God bless

 

[tawny]

Praying to Our Lady of Guadalupe for you to have an uncomplicated pregnancy & safe delivery of a healthy baby.

 

[Murmurs]

I can’t give any better advice than has already been given above , just to echo above all see your doctor as soon as you can. See if you can share things with people round about you in your life (like at church, even though yes you move around a bit), because how you feel isn’t that uncommon and you will really benefit from having that support network.

Other than that, I can only say that like so many others I am praying for you, your husband, and your baby, as you get through this

God bless you

 

[Dorothy]

I agree with all the other comments; but most importantly pray…

1. Start a Novena to St Gerard, St Philomena, Mary the Undoer of Knots etc
2. Each day offer your prayers up for the health and well being of your child and for you to be strong in trust and well being.
3. Read a book of spiritual encouragement (Your Labor of Love) by Agnes m Penny, is a great inspiration.
4. Consecrate all your worries and anxiety to Our Lady, when you feel anxious pray the Hail Mary.
5. Find a priest, to talk to as a spiritual director during this time.

Here’s a prayer for you to start with:

Lord, there has been too much change in my life recently, and I feel overwhelmed. Because I try to be a responsible person, I sometimes forget that it is unwise for me to allow my sense of duty to override my common sense.
Lord, help me to allow myself more time to rest, relax, and pray. Guide me toward something spiritual to read every day and a quiet time afterwards to reflect on what I have read and how it pertains to my life. I truly want to simplify my life and live more as Christ did. Help me remember that there is no loss or problem I must face alone. You are always near, with Your love and compassion to comfort me. Amen.

God bless ������

Yes, do not forget prayer. Excellent prayer advice above. The other suggestions are good also.

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

Firstly - stop watching the news! (I’m serious).

Another topic to talk about with Doc is nutrition. Foods high in omega’s (fish, nuts, avacado’s ) help with mood for mom and baby. Now my dear friend cried her whole pregnancy. She was sick & could not eat foods high in omega’s. Knowing now what I know, I would have taken her out to sit on a patio to eat guacamole! Sun and omegas are awsome for pregnant women.

 

[misspriss]

I agree with the other posters. You really, really, really NEED to bring this to the attention of your OB/GYN NOW. Make a special appointment to do so if you have to. You can’t take anti-depressants now, but you should probably take them as soon as you deliver and bottle feed your baby. Postpartum depression can be dangerous to the sufferer and those around her, through no fault of her own. To feel your best and take good care of your baby you need medical care. Talking to your priest is fine, but you also need to speak to your doctor.

And I agree, give up the news until you’re feeling better. They report on the worst possible things and with your hormones all topsy-turvy your imagination is running away with you.

This is good advice, except there is no reason you cannot breastfeed your baby if you are taking most antidepressants. The hormones released during breastfeeding will help you bond and can help you be less anxious.

I suffered from antepartum anxiety and I suffer from a lower level of anxiety all the time, including post partum. I am taking anxiety medication (not antidepressants) as needed and breastfeeding, under the direction of my psychiatrist. I’d recommend seeing a real psychiatrist, as both of the OB/GYNs I have seen have been hesitant to use the medications that I need, based out outdated information and studies. Psychiatrists use these types of medications more and are more abreast of the current research and safety guidelines.

Like my first OB wouldn’t even prescribe the medication I take, as an entire class of medications, because he doesn’t “believe” in them. My second would not, as it is a category D - I needed it at 35 weeks. The reason it is category D is a study done on a different medication in the same classs in the 1970s which has since been proven to be flawed, no studies have shown any issues since the 70s, and all issues were issues that arise in the first 12 weeks. So me taking it at low doses at 35+ weeks when really needed? I was comfortable with it, it made my OB a little iffy, but it was between me and my psychiatrist.

 

[Lookingforjoy]

You can’t take anti-depressants now, but you should probably take them as soon as you deliver and bottle feed your baby.

I don’t know your medical history, but in general, there are medications that treat anxiety that are considered safe for pregnancy and nursing. Again, you’d have to talk about your doctor about whether they would be appropriate for your particular situation.

I have an anxiety disorder and you sound just like I sounded before I had therapy to deal with it. If you do have anxiety, there are ways to treat it and you’ll feel so much better! Please talk to your doctor!

 

[UbiCaritas]

**This is good advice, except there is no reason you cannot breastfeed your baby if you are taking most antidepressants. The hormones released during breastfeeding will help you bond and can help you be less anxious. **

(edited for brevity)

Thank you for mentioning this. I’d read this post on my phone earlier, and meant to reply and mention this, but forgot until now.

Most antidepressants are fine while breastfeeding, if that’s what you’re planning on. Breastfeeding can be lovely and bonding and help with PPD, though it can also trigger/contribute to PPD if it doesn’t go well and you really have your heart set on it. Been there, done that, have the medal…ugh. If you want to breastfeed, I very much hope it goes well for you. Either way, though, please don’t fret about it. I wouldn’t have believed you if you told me so at my lowest point, but it will be okay. Really.

Many antidepressants are also okay while you’re pregnant.

Of course, you should discuss this with your doctor; he or she will be able to help you a lot more than we can in terms of figuring out the best therapy/medication routine for your particular circumstance. Do NOT be ashamed or embarrassed for feeling as you do! Think about the hormonal stew you’re in right now…it would almost be surprising not to have your moods affected!

This blog, incidentally, is by a Catholic mom of three small kids; she’s been quite open about her battles with both pre-partum and post-partum depression, and her treatments, which include medication. Perhaps you’d find it helpful to read about what another Catholic mom has to say about it?

I also heartily second or third a previous poster’s suggestion about ignoring the news. While in college, I worked a lot of jobs while going to school full time, and was correspondingly stressed out a lot. Reading the news made it worse. I finally decided not to pay any attention to the news except the five-minute snippet broadcast on the classical radio station at the top of the hour. I figured that if, God forbid, another 9/11 happened, I’d know about it through that or someone telling me, and short of a disaster of that scale, I probably didn’t really need to know. I mean, what was I going to do about it, anyway, except for fume or worry?

If you’d like to PM someone to talk, please feel free to message me. My depression/anxiety didn’t set in until postpartum, but they were real doozies then. Ugh.

Best of luck to you, and CONGRATS! on the baby!

 

[Still_Hoping]

Firstly - stop watching the news! (I’m serious)

Secondly - do you have friends to reach out to?

Thirdly - yes, please talk to your priest, and start to get involved in your parish community. Catholic parishes are great places to share your family journey with other like-minded people. There will almost certainly be people who will understand your concerns and will have been through similar issues.

Forthly - as Xantippe addressed, you need to deal with this from a medical perspective. Talk to your doctor soon and as openly as possible.

I agree, stop watching the news and listening to “garbage”. Don’t be frightened that you are having these thoughts. Face your negative thoughts with realistic ones such as yes anything can happen and there may be no tomorrow so all the more reason to enjoy today and live it fully.

I take it you are home all day all alone? Well, then that explains it. I think too much when I am at home all day unless I find something constructive to do even if I don’t want to do it I force myself. Talk to someone, that is important, hubby, friend, family member, obgyn, priest. Heck talk to them all if you have to.

Remember to meditate, say a rosary, pray, listen to soft music, read the bible and get into the word, watch a biblical movie or anything uplifting etc.

You could do it. May the Blessed Mother watch over you. God bless.

 

[Gliggle]

Know that there is nothing that happens that is not allowed by God. Even the most terrible thing you can imagine, if it were to happen. Trust in him and put all your anxieties into his hands. Remember that the primary goal of this life is not to survive intact, but to reach eternal glory with your father in heaven. This goes for your children too, you will find it a huge challenge of motherhood in todays world to find the right balance of worry vs calm. But right now you are definitely worrying too much. It was similar for me in my first pregnancy, and so I prayed the rosary every day for Our Lady’s protection for myself and my baby. Through this I learnt that protection from worldly harm is not always what God has in store for us, but everything that comes our way can be used for the good of our immortal soul with God’s grace, and this is the priority. Therefore, it is important not to be overly worried or fearful about the dangers of the world, because none of them, not even the very very worst horror you can imagine, can ever take from you or your baby what is truly important. This is because Jesus rose from the dead. This is the good news from the bible. It trumps everything you see on tv because it means both of you will too in the world to come, for which this life is only a sickly reflection.

Also the fear you feel is natural to some extent, your body is priming itself to protect a vulnerable infant, its only natural to look for danger everywhere. All this is an effect of hormones in your body. For whatever reason some women are affected far more negatively than others. Without help it may continue to get even worse after the birth of your child if you don’t find a way to manage it and cope with it. But by God’s grace I hope you do find a way to cope. I really recommend praying every day and like others have said, seeking medical attention. Our Lady will especially help you because she has been through this herself and remember she was told by Simeon when she presented the infant Jesus that a sword would pierce her soul. This would have caused her a great deal of worry. Indeed she saw her son rejected and crucified. Whatever happens don’t be afraid, our mother will help you and she understands. And anyway, remember the odds are that you and you child will have a long and happy life with hardly any newsworthy drama

 

[misspriss]

Oh yes I never watch the news. I hate how the media controls the attitudes in this country.

The only news I ever watch is the morning show on one channel, where it is all local need to know type stuff and fluff pieces, and lots and lots of traffic and weather. That is if I watch the news. I am guilty of never knowing what the weather is doing because I don’t watch the news…

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

Also, make sure that you are set up with good postpartum help at home.

Yes, make sure good care after baby is born. I biffed it major because I worried more about the pregnancy and birth than what happens after baby arrives. During pregnancy, I had a surge of happy hormones. They disappeared after birth causing major hormonal imbalance and I wasn’t ready for such a long recovery and crazy sleep/eatting schedules. You may luck out and get a surge of happy hormones after baby is born … But making sure you have great support when baby arrives is major!