Sex and modesty

[jkenn337]

Hello,
My name is Josh. My wife and I are both blind, got married by the state, then later had our marriage blessed through the catholic church. I’m catholic. she’s not. Doesn’t really matter though for this question. We have a 4-year old son. I’m attending lions world serices for the blind for my a+ and network+ certifications while my wife stays home in PA taking care of our son.
My question is this. Since I was a child or perhaps 10 or so years old I don’t remember I’ve been curious about having sex in or near water such as a pool, hot-tub, but most particularly the beach and the ocean. I also know there are laws against public sex acts in most places, doesn’t amtter if you’re married or not and if the people involved in the acts are married. So is there some obscure catholic church teaching that says sex between spouses must be confined to your home or bedroom? Also my wife isn’t really much into this. whereas I think this would enhance intimacy between us. Maybe I’m the one who is wrong in thinking this? I wonder why I have had this desire for a very long time now to find out what intimacy with one’s spouse (my wife) would feel like in water on the beach near the shoreline in the ocean shallows–the surf&waves? And even if its a private place it still may not be legal. And we’re blind so we can’t see if someone’s walking around at night. but I can’t find anything on any catholic websites that says two people, a man and woman, married in the catholic church by a priest cannot express their sexual love for one another on a beach, ocean, outside pool stuff like that. So maybe you guys can give a more definitive answer.
I want to try and get a job in Tampa Florida so I can live near the beach maybe I would have a chance for me and my wife to try this, if I can somehow convince her its safe and ok. I read books about water sex, whether what they write really works in regards to sex I do not know. I have not tried yet with my wife. Perhaps my wife feels overwhelmed somehow of me asking this of her? not sure.

any help appreciated.

Josh

 

[jkenn337]

I should clarify. We are both totally blind. Well anyway by the above post you probably already figured that out through the post’s content. I’ve also struggled with the sin of masturbation since I was a child due to being very bored and not fitting in socially with the rest of the sighted children/people. Fantasies involving beastiality and water have been the culpret. Through talking to clients here at lions world services for the blind I learned and got advice to re-direct my thoughts to my wife. Focus on my studdies here, not to let those thoughts from my childhood overwhelm me at night just before, and after, sleep. Now the new problem is this. Thinking about my wife in a sexual way seems to cause masturbation as well well maybe doesn’t cause it well come to think of it it does. so 1. is it wrong to want to be intimate with my spouse in places other than our house/bedroom? 2. Is it considered a sin to think about one’s spouse in a sexual way? Surely I am not committing adultry by having or creating in my mind senarios which strictly involve only my wife and myself?

 

[SunnaB16]

The Church certainly doesnt teach that sexual intimacy between spouses has to be restricted to the home. i bet a lot of marriied bushwalkers enjoy their intimacy surrounded by the trees of Gods Creation. Same with beachlovers in a nice private spot. Romantic, and adding to the richness of the marriage, as you suspect.

ive often had thoughts similar to yours, but not in water! Theres nothing unhealthy about them, as long as theres no intention to shock others; and youve already indicated that.
How to do it when blind? i don`t know! Do you have a sighted friend in whom you could confide…and who could help?
Convincing your wife is another problem…

Someone more knowledgeable will have to answer your other concerns.

Best wishes!

 

[PiousTemplar]

I send my prayers your way, I cannot imagine the difficulties of living totally blind. God Bless.

 

[Bookcat]

One of the requirements of an act to be good is for the circumstances to be good.

So spouses having martial relations are do so in such a manner that others will not observe etc them doing so. (and one will find this for example in older moral manuals that went into causistry like this…)

Such would not them seem to be a viable option.

(of course the other things in the second post are to be addressed in confession…I just add that for some readers may not know there is need for such)

 

[Bookcat]

(as for sexual thoughts regarding ones spouse…while it is possible for such in an ordered way…there can also be sin there too…such as for example when it leads to masturbation…which of course is grave matter…)