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Azael89
Guest
I understand that sex is meant for having children, but is it wrong to have sex once in a while for pleasure,not just for, but for my wife too??
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st_lucy
Guest
Sex is always (or should be) pleasuralbe. That is the way God made it, but it should always be open to life.
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Bookcat
Guest
Pleasure is part of martial relations.
One does not have to just have sexual relations only for children…though one must always be open to life. It is not “only” meant for having children. There is the unitive aspect as well.
Pleasure though is not to be per se the “end” of marital relations…but it is part of the marital act.
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Augusta_Sans
Guest
Agreed. Pleasure shouldn’t be the goal of sex, but it’s certainly a nice benefit that comes along with having sex for its intended unitive/procreative goal. 
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Edward_H
Guest
More pleasure seems to come out of sex when your focus is total self giving to your wife. Seek her pleasure as primary; she seeks yours as primary; and somehow on balance great joy comes out of that.Agreed. Pleasure shouldn’t be the goal of sex, but it’s certainly a nice benefit that comes along with having sex for its intended unitive/procreative goal.
Marriage should not just seen as a free sex zone…I seek pleasure… reciprocally she seeks pleasure. Rather, I seek her pleasure with abandonment…being willing to get no pleasure in return. that’s total self-donation.
When that chemistry is practiced and pursued, it seems to create far more union and intimacy than the “keep it balanced reciprocity” approach.
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Azael89
Guest
Thanks for the reponses, everybody.
St lucy, what do you mean “open to life”??
Sorry, Im not a native English speaker, so I have trouble understanding sometimes.
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Bookcat
Guest
Compendium of the Catechism issued by Pope Benedict XVI
The conjugal act has a twofold meaning: unitive (the mutual self-giving of the spouses) and procreative (an openness to the transmission of life). No one may break the inseparable connection which God has established between these two meanings of the conjugal act by excluding one or the other of them.
2399
The regulation of births, which is an aspect of responsible fatherhood and motherhood, is objectively morally acceptable when it is pursued by the spouses without external pressure; when it is practiced not out of selfishness but for serious reasons; and with methods that conform to the objective criteria of morality, that is, periodic continence and use of the infertile periods.
Every action - for example, direct sterilization or contraception - is intrinsically immoral which (either in anticipation of the conjugal act, in its accomplishment or in the development of its natural consequences) proposes, as an end or as a means, to hinder procreation.
- What is the meaning of the conjugal act?
The conjugal act has a twofold meaning: unitive (the mutual self-giving of the spouses) and procreative (an openness to the transmission of life). No one may break the inseparable connection which God has established between these two meanings of the conjugal act by excluding one or the other of them.
- When is it moral to regulate births?
2399
The regulation of births, which is an aspect of responsible fatherhood and motherhood, is objectively morally acceptable when it is pursued by the spouses without external pressure; when it is practiced not out of selfishness but for serious reasons; and with methods that conform to the objective criteria of morality, that is, periodic continence and use of the infertile periods.
- What are immoral means of birth control?
Every action - for example, direct sterilization or contraception - is intrinsically immoral which (either in anticipation of the conjugal act, in its accomplishment or in the development of its natural consequences) proposes, as an end or as a means, to hinder procreation.
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Bookcat
Guest
Open to life means basically normal sexual relations without anything to prevent conception …no birth control…withdrawal etcThanks for the reponses, everybody.
St lucy, what do you mean “open to life”??
Sorry, Im not a native English speaker, so I have trouble understanding sometimes.
Natural family planning can be used (which means one abstains the right times…does not have sex) to avoid a new conception for serious reasons …they do not have to be life or death things…but serious…and not selfish things …see the compendium above.
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Bookcat
Guest
Here are other languages for that document:
(Second entry… compedium…look up the paragraph numbers I posted above in your language)
vatican.va/archive/ccc/index.htm
(Second entry… compedium…look up the paragraph numbers I posted above in your language)
vatican.va/archive/ccc/index.htm
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xixxvmcm85
Guest
Our Faith requires that every sexual act we commit within a Sacramental marriage be open to life. it does not dictate that we necessarily maximize the probability that it will occur. If that were the case, the Church wouldn’t allow NFP, and she would likely require us to use the facilitation of gravity, among other absurd measures.
By all means, have fun! Just don’t actively circumvent its purposes of procreation and spousal unity.
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Newbie2
Guest
I would rephrase this…sex for pleasure can be a goal, certainly, under Catholic sexual teaching…as long as it is open to life. Otherwise NFP would not be legitimate if couples had to “roll the dice” each and every time they engaged in sexual activity.Agreed. Pleasure shouldn’t be the goal of sex, but it’s certainly a nice benefit that comes along with having sex for its intended unitive/procreative goal.
Yes, there still is an element of “rolling the dice” i.e. that there may or may not be a child resulting from a sexual act even if performed with NFP, but the intention is to have a sexual experience and not have children…but at the same time be open to them.
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Azael89
Guest
Thank you for all the responses.
Lets see if I understood correctly.
My wife and I are open to life anytime, and we would like to have children when the time is right.
We would like to use the NFP method for the following reasons:
1)Yes, we want to have sex to procreate, but sometimes we feel like having sex to just give each other pleasure, so our intentions those times are not for kids, but for pleasure. Of course, we are open to life, so if my wife ends up pregnant it would not be a problem for us.
2)We would also like to space out pregnancies, but still have sex during those times when my wife can not get pregnant. Again, if she ends up pregnant, it would not be a problem.
Would what Im doing be correct or a sin??
Lets see if I understood correctly.
My wife and I are open to life anytime, and we would like to have children when the time is right.
We would like to use the NFP method for the following reasons:
1)Yes, we want to have sex to procreate, but sometimes we feel like having sex to just give each other pleasure, so our intentions those times are not for kids, but for pleasure. Of course, we are open to life, so if my wife ends up pregnant it would not be a problem for us.
2)We would also like to space out pregnancies, but still have sex during those times when my wife can not get pregnant. Again, if she ends up pregnant, it would not be a problem.
Would what Im doing be correct or a sin??
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Bookcat
Guest
One needs always a “serious reason” to use NFP for …avoiding new conceptions. Such does not have to be “life or death” but it does need to be judged by the couple before God to be a serious one of course.Thank you for all the responses.
Lets see if I understood correctly.
My wife and I are open to life anytime, and we would like to have children when the time is right.
We would like to use the NFP method for the following reasons:
1)Yes, we want to have sex to procreate, but sometimes we feel like having sex to just give each other pleasure, so our intentions those times are not for kids, but for pleasure. Of course, we are open to life, so if my wife ends up pregnant it would not be a problem for us.
2)We would also like to space out pregnancies, but still have sex during those times when my wife can not get pregnant. Again, if she ends up pregnant, it would not be a problem.
Would what Im doing be correct or a sin??
One is not of course just having marital relations “for pleasure” but for the “unitive” aspect…loving each other…the pleasure of course is involved in this…
Catchism:
2362 "The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude."144 Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure:
The Creator himself . . . established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.145
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Azael89
Guest
Thank you Bookcat.
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Bookcat
Guest
Your welcome…
Here is more:
With regard to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precepts, decide not to have additional children for either a certain or an indefinite period of time."
Humanae Vitae Pope Paul VI
Compendium of Social Doctrine (other compendium…)
“232. The family contributes to the social good in an eminent fashion through responsible motherhood and fatherhood, the spouses’ special participation in God’s work of creation[519]. The weight of this responsibility must not be used as a justification for being selfishly closed but must guide the decisions of the spouses in a generous acceptance of life. “In relation to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised both in the duly pondered and generous decision to have a large family, and in the decision, made for serious reasons and in respect of the moral law, to avoid for a time or even indeterminately a new birth”[520]. The motivations that should guide the couple in exercising responsible motherhood and fatherhood originate in the full recognition of their duties towards God, towards themselves, towards the family and towards society in a proper hierarchy of values.”
“234. The judgment concerning the interval of time between births, and that regarding the number of children, belongs to the spouses alone. This is one of their inalienable rights, to be exercised before God with due consideration of their obligations towards themselves, their children already born, the family and society[528]. The intervention of public authorities within the limits of their competence to provide information and enact suitable measures in the area of demographics must be made in a way that fully respects the persons and the freedom of the couple. Such intervention may never become a substitute for their decisions[529]. All the more must various organizations active in this area refrain from doing the same.” (vatican.va/roman_curia/po…tt-soc_en.html)
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so while one needs a serious reason…all sorts of such reasons can come up in life…the couple must judge… (perhaps with advice)…
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Maureen1125
Guest
God gave us sex and God made it pleasurable. As long as you have having sex as a way of GIVING yourself to your spouse and not simply taking pleasure from your spouse for your own selfish needs, then you are acting in accordance with God’s will
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