Sex

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lassi

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My son is eight, and I think he might have picked up some information from his friends about sex. For example, one evening on TV, he heard someone say “sex” and he said “Eeewww, that’s dirty!” and I said “What is sex, son?”, and he said “all I know is that it’s dirty.” SO how can I tackfully approach the subject? How much information is too much information? Can I just ignore it and hope that it goes away? (JUST KIDDING!!)
 
Just talk to him about the basics. What the different parts are and what they do. You don’t have to get real detailed about what female parts are. Just give him the basic idea. Tell him what sex is and that it’s just for married people, etc. Maybe say something about masturbation. A lot of boys start masturbating at his age.

I’d be sure to dispell the notion that sex is dirty. It’s not dirty, but it is just for married people.
 
I would rather him think its dirty than for him to think its fun!

Plus he is actually partly right, sex outside of marriage is dirty in a way. I dont think you need to worry that he is going to be scarred for life or anything.
 
I guess what I’m trying to figure out is how much he knows. If he knows very little, then I don’t want to tell him too much and totally blow his mind. On the other hand, if his friends at school are feeding him all sorts of info, I need to ensure that the information he received is put in the proper light. I knew EVERYTHING about sex when I was like 6 or 7, but none of it was the good and pure stuff. My mom had no idea that I had gotten quite the education from my brothers and friends. Of course, a lot of information got mixed up, ie. an older friend told me that it was the DOCTOR that gets your mom pregnant. I used to get totally stressed every time my mom had a Dr.'s appt!!!
 
No way. If he’s thinking its dirty, I would correct that thought. Kids dont need to think they got here from a dirty act.

Its not even dirty when people arent married. Its simply wrong.
 
I think at 8 years old, ‘dirty’ is a good way to think of it. Maybe being more aware of the television shows would be better. Most prime time shows will give him more of an education than you ever want him to have anyways. I also don’t think it’s a problem to tell him that it is dirty unless a “mommy and daddy” do it.

Of course there is the adage “out of sight out of mind”. Trust your intincts…that’s what I do with my kids.
 
Just ask him why he thinks sex is dirty! He may just think girl have kutees or something and that’s what he means. Let his response decide your response, rather than assuming he’s ready for “the talk” - which he may be no where near ready for.

We just answer questions as they come up in a simple and basic manner and stop there until the next question comes up. My 8 year old knows girls are different physically, it takes a husband and wife to make a baby. When I was pregnant last time he wanted to know how the baby got there, and we said "God sent us the baby.) and he was happy with that. We bought 2 books: * Angels in the Waters and Before You Were Born.*

Now, my 10 year old is wanting to know exactly how God did that, so we’ve gone into a little more detail there. Daddys have sperm that travels to the mommys egg. God brings the egg and the sperm together to make a new soul. The soul’s body starts to grow inside the mommy for about 9 months before it’s ready to join the world ourside the tummy. Then mommy has to push the baby out of her “privates” or sometimes that doesn’t work so the drs. have to cut the baby our of her stomach instead, so that the baby can be born into the world. Yes, it hurts quite a bit, but it’s worth it to both the mommy and the daddy.

So far, that’s been enough detail for him. Though I’m sure he’ll have many more questions the next time I get pregnant. I just don’t see any purpose to giving more information than neccessary at a time. It’s not something they should be going out and practicing yet and I’ve never heard of any adult who wasn’t able to “figure things out” without a graphic picture. Our grandparents and great-grandparents certainly caught on quick enough. They need to know about personal boundaries, that others are not ever allowed to tough them in certain ways at all, for safety reasons and that’s enough for quite some time when they are young.

Good luck!
 
I had a similair experience when my oldest was that age. We were walking in our local Wal-Mart and my son saw Valentines boxers, you know the silky ones with hearts on them, and he said “oh…sexy” so we asked him what sexy meant. He said “you know like kissing and stuff” and we figured for 8 years old that was a good enough definition. The point is that you need to know what he thinks and why. If he thinks that it is “dirty” because girls have cooties, then I would just laugh it off with a “Boy are you going to change your mind when you are 16” or something like that. If he thinks sex is dirty because someone has either told him that it is or told him too much too early I would let him know that sex is a gift from God that is very beautiful but it is only meant as a wedding gift. Try to discourage that sex is dirty so that he is not conflicted when he gets older. If he heard it from someone else I would talk to them (if they are old enough) about not saying things like that to your child.
 
My daughter is 9 and she doesn’t know anything yet, but there is a girl in her class who already has her monthly visiter :bigyikes:
 
Thanks for all your replies. I guess I’ll just take it slow and easy and let his dad handle it!! 😃

Seriously, though, I will TRY not to spazz out and I will be as matter-of-fact as possible!
 
You should read Theology of the Body for Beginners if you haven’t already. It should help you in trying to explain the birds and the bees.
 
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