Sexual Abstinence Concerns; Marriage, Sex

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whatsthetruth

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My girlfriend and I are both waiting until marriage to share each other and it’s something we are both very serious about. She’s more serious than I am and I want to wait also. My only concern is I practice chastity with my body and refrain from masturbating and indulging in those kinds of things. I know that is what God’s calling me to do and expects of me. Is this going to effect our future sex life? I still get an erection every now and then if I have a good dream or my girlfriend and I are making out. Other than that not much… not near as much as I used to (before I started practicing chastity.)

How will this effect me in terms of blood not being sent to the penis as much for prolonged periods of time? Should I even be concerned? I don’t want to disappoint my future wife. I’m not saying my sex drive is low, I’m more concerned about my erections and what effects practicing abstinence will have on my penis if any. I don’t want to disappoint her. All feedback welcome and appreciated.
 
Hello. First off, how old are you both and how long have you been dating? Are you engaged? Is this the first serious relationship for you both? After hearing the answers I can get a better assessment.

Good luck and remember if you both truly love each other, and things happen, don’t feel bad or guilty. Continue to love and support each other with the goal of marriage in the future.
 
I’m 23 and she’s 21. We’ve known each other for more than 2 years and the past 4 months things have been getting more serious. We have both been in serious relationships before, 2 years for me and I think she has been in a longer one than that. We are not engaged and that will most likely not be discussed between us until I finish college. Thank you for your time
 
Two things:

Don’t worry! Do things as God wants us to do them, and don’t worry about what the secular society tries to say will happen. You don’t need to engage in any sinful behavior to be able to enjoy sex after marriage.

Also, unmarried people making out does fall under sexual sin as well, it isn’t limited to sex alone!
 
Even if you are Catholic your penis is still practicing by itself. Every night men have erections that they don’t know about. It has nothing to do with what you are dreaming. Doctors have done studies where they wake someone up when they have an erection and it seems that dreams and erections are not connected. It is not a sin because it’s just something men’s bodies do at night. Even if you were dreaming it is beyond your control.
 
No, there is no need for concern. When we practice virtue, it becomes more habitual and tends to get easier. That’s why, when we practice chastity, we will often experience those temptations less and less. That’s a good thing.

When you get married and go to attempt the marital embrace for the first time, your natural desires will kick in. 😉
 
You will be fine when you get married. 👍

Chastity is a good thing and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I wish that I was chaste when I was your age. Sex before marriage makes it more difficult to determine whether you and your future spouse are truly compatible.

May God Bless you and your girlfriend, giving you the strength to remain chaste.
 
I dunno OP, how about we wait around for some men who were totally chaste in their late teens and early twenties for say at least one year before getting married and see if it went alright for them?

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Age will take care of the problem.😃

Of course, medical science thinks it needs a cure. And the television seems to think that it needs to advertise that cure.😊
 
Congratulations on your virtuous effort! As others have said, physically everything will be fine. In the meantime, do some kegel exercises - your future wife will thank you.
 
First off, when a man is willing to wait for marriage, a woman knows what a rare catch he is and will NOT be disappointed in that.

As for the physical effects this will have on your body, I seriously doubt there would be any. And even if it is akward when you first marry, a woman worth marrying will be understanding
 
whatsthetruth said:
My girlfriend and I are both waiting until marriage to share each other and it’s something we are both very serious about. She’s more serious than I am and I want to wait also. My only concern is I practice chastity with my body and refrain from masturbating and indulging in those kinds of things. I know that is what God’s calling me to do and expects of me. Is this going to effect our future sex life? I still get an erection every now and then if I have a good dream or my girlfriend and I are making out. Other than that not much… not near as much as I used to (before I started practicing chastity.)

How will this effect me in terms of blood not being sent to the penis as much for prolonged periods of time? Should I even be concerned? I don’t want to disappoint my future wife. I’m not saying my sex drive is low, I’m more concerned about my erections and what effects practicing abstinence will have on my penis if any. I don’t want to disappoint her. All feedback welcome and appreciated.
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I was 27 and my husband was almost 30 when we got married. We were both virgins and were blessed with a honeymoon baby. That was no surprise, we decided to have kids right away. It was hard for my husband to flip the switch from being a virgin to having sex overnight. I would say there is a learning curve and there are adjustments. But when you marry your best friend you walk the road together. Looking back we would not change anything. But it is hard to be pregnant the first time you have sex. You go from married to parents in 9 months.

Also, I wanted to say that making out is not a sin.
 
I imagine marrying a virgin woman would require a learning curve for her as well, to advance beyond just lying back and thinking of England. One would think that learning such things would be part of the wonderful experience of marriage and not something to be embarrassed about or upset with, but then again we live in a pansexual culture that prizes and nearly divinizes sexual prowess and attraction, not to mention maintains the high school level mentality that being a virgin is a curse and something to make fun of.
 
sailor28 said:
Also, I wanted to say that making out is not a sin.
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Depends what you mean by “making out”. It’s an accordion word, that can mean anything from a peck on the lips to oral sex these days.
 
sailor28 said:
I was 27 and my husband was almost 30 when we got married. We were both virgins and were blessed with a honeymoon baby. That was no surprise, we decided to have kids right away. It was hard for my husband to flip the switch from being a virgin to having sex overnight. I would say there is a learning curve and there are adjustments. But when you marry your best friend you walk the road together. Looking back we would not change anything. But it is hard to be pregnant the first time you have sex. You go from married to parents in 9 months.

Also, I wanted to say that making out is not a sin.
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Our experience was very similar - I was 26 my husband 31 - I was a virgin, my husband was not but he had been celibate for over 5 years. Like you we had a honeymoon baby, which is just what we wanted but as you say it is a huge huge adjustment but one which is wonderful to make with the love of your life.
 
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