Sexual Abuse and Confession

[RomanRyan1088]

If someone sexually abused someone else, would it be necessary to tell the priest EXACTALLY what you did to the other person.

Also…

If a person had the bad habit of self-pleasing himself, would that person have to tell EXACTLY how he self-pleasured himself? ( Not necessarily masturbation)

 

[Pug]

If I were a priest, I wouldn’t want to know the details of self-abuse. If some feature changes the nature of the act, such as it involved self-exposure or peeping, just to name some possibilities, I’d specify that it included “self-exposure” or “peeping”. I would not detail anything beyond that unless the priest needs to know more and asks you. If it included peeping, for example, I would mention whether I have dealt with the near occasion (if it is a neighbor). If I was doing self-abuse and I’m married, I’d tell him I’m married. Beware the risk of reveling in salacious detail!

No, if I had to confess abusing another person, I would not provide details of how I did it beyond that it was a beating, rape, etc. If it involved kidnapping, I would include the word “kidnapping” and the age of the victim. I would detail the time frame (minutes, days?), any other crime connected with the incident, like blasphemy, theft, lying, etc. General detail, but not specific.

Say what it takes to specify the type, nature, and gravity of the sin. Also say what it takes for the priest to offer doctoring for your soul. Do not run the risk of firing anyone’s imagination with excessive detail, unless neccesary and warranted.

 

[Allen537]

RomanRyan1088:

If someone sexuall abused someone else, would it be necessary to tell the priest EXACTALLY what you did to the other person.

Also…

If a person had the bad habit of self-pleasing himself, would that person have to tell EXACTLY how he self-pleasured himself?

That would all depend on what the Preist wants to hear from that person. I highy doubt that the Preist wants gory details. If he asks that person to do describe it more, than they would do so. Otherwise they would just state the sin.

Self pleasing is rather different. It’s is not necessarly a mortal sin. There are different factors that need to be considered when trying to discern wether or not the self-pleasing is a mortal sin. And I am assuming that by “Self-pleasing” you are referring to masterbation. Refer to the Catechism for more details. Look at section 1857 to learn more about what a mortal sin is. And also refer to paragraph 2352 to learn more about masterbation. This section also talks about the factors that must be considered when trying to discern wether or not masterbation is a mortal sin.

Feel free to private message me if you need clarification or more info on the subject.

 

[Timidity]

In general, whenever you confess you should never give details unless they are asked for. You should just state the type and number of the sins.

 

[Dr.Colossus]

In general it is necessary to give only enough details that the priest understand the gravity of the sin. Therefore confessing the number and kind of sins is usually sufficient. However, confessing “sexual abuse” may not be enough because it could cover a number of separate sinful actions which should be confessed individually.

 

[tuopaolo]

You only need to mention what the nature of the sin was and approximately how many times it was committed. Details would be necessary only when they add gravity to the sin or a new kind of grave sin. Examples:

If you murdered a priest you would need to mention that the person you murdered was a priest since in addition to the grave sin of murder that would also be a grave sin of sacrilege

If you stole a 100 million dollars you would need to mention that you stole 100 million dollars since without that knowledge the priest wouldn’t know whether the sin was grave or not.

If you had sex outside of marriage you would need to mention if you were married (it is traditional to mention whether you are married actually at the beginning of the confession) since that would add to the grave sin against chastity also a grave sin against justice (the vows of your marriage).

If you have lied under oath you would need to mention it was under oath since lying in of itself is a venial sin and lying under oath introduces a grave sin of sacrilege.

If you lied and in lying caused grave harm to someone, you would need to mention that fact, since that introduces a grave sin against justice or charity.

If you lied under oath and in so lying caused grave harm (like if you testified that someone was guilty who was not and caused the person to get the death penalty), then you would need to mention both your lying under oath as well as the fact that you caused grave harm since the lying under oath introduces a grave sin of sacrilege and the grave harm you caused introduces a grave sin against justice or charity.

Details that merely increase gravity but do not introduce gravity where there is none or do not introduce a new kind of grave sin, do not need to be confessed. Examples:

If you expressed extreme hatred of God, you need not mention the extreme part (though you can if you want)

If you murdered someone, you do not need to mention that you shot him 100 times in the process (or that you stabbed him 100 times, etc.)

If you committed fornication, you do not need to mention that you initiated it (since whoever initiated it, mutual seduction was part of it anyway)

It’s not really complicated it but even if you screw up, as long as you answer honestly the priest’s questions, the confession would still be valid since you wouldn’t in that case be deliberately holding back.