Sexual abuse

[twosweetgirls]

Hey, CAF family. . . I’m dealing with an unexpected issue, and would like your (name removed by moderator)ut.

A few days ago, our parish held the VIRTUS training for anyone wishing to do any type of volunteering within the parish. It was incredibly difficult for me to watch, as I’m a survivor of molestation when I was young (went on for several years, perps were two cousins).

Then on Wednesday, we had Faith Formation; I signed up to teach 8th grade. In addition to the class being extraordinarily difficult (three rowdy, mouthy boys in particular), I was leaning on one of the highback chairs and my knuckle brushed against the girl’s back. Immediately I said “oops, sorry about that” and continued with the lesson. But from then til now, I’ve been enduring terrible memories and feelings of my own abuse, all the while wondering “holy **** (pardon the word), is that student going to think awful things now about me??”.

I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place–I don’t want to leave the CCD director hanging with having to fill a catechist spot for the remainder of the year, but I’ve also pretty much decided that being a catechist is a liability I’m ill prepared for, especially given my own past abuse.

Does that make sense? I’ve been agonizing over this the past few days and would very much welcome your insights/advice.

 

[bunnynessuk]

Hi Hun,

I am a ‘survivor’ to and I understand everything that you are saying - that girl is unlikely to think anything of what happened people accidentally nudge each other all the time and you are a woman (women are FAR less likely to abuse) and girls are unlikely to consider the actions of a woman abusive.

If you are concerned and dont feel that you can continue given the experiences you shouldnt, find otherways to volunteer.

There is nothing worse than doing something which causes a ‘trigger’ - there are certain words which to this day send me into a depressive/manic state.

Jay

 

[kage_ar]

Speak with your Priest first, then listen to his advice.

 

[dulcissima]

A lot of times we go way out of our way to avoid dealing with our past problems. You have been through something awful, something which was not your fault, and it is still taking it’s toll today. Be brave and face what is troubling you. I think that teaching this religious ed class is a blessing by bringing this to the surface so that you can deal with it.

Find yourself a counselor and spend some time figuring out what happened and learn how to put it behind you so that you are not continuing to hurt.

I used to avoid counseling myself, but have gained so much by going. I highly, highly recommend it.

 

[yessisan]

Speak with your Priest first, then listen to his advice.

The best advice anyone can give. It helped me deal with my problems. I had never told anyone but my dh and my ex-fiance. So, speaking to one of my priests helped tremendously. I was struggling and couldn’t even sleep at night until I spoke to one of the priests at my parish.

I’m really sorry you had to endure that and that you are having a hard time w/it. :hug1:

I know others who have this happen to and they don’t speak to anyone about it who can help them and it has made their lives impossible. An old friend and someone really close to me in my family… their lives are a mess because they haven’t seeked for help. Please speak to a Priest and see what he tells you. He might suggest counseling, and if he does, go to it.