Sexual purity question

[Hermione]

Hello everyone,

My fiance is staying with my family now, and will be for several weeks, so I have a few questions I’d like to get everyone’s thoughts on.

1. Is it scandal to be in the same room with a closed door? We’re not doing anything bad, but at the same time we want privacy.
2. Is it wrong to hold each other while watching a movie? (Lying next to each other, or me leaning back against him, half lying down.) Is this scandal? (This doesn’t lead to lust, but makes us feel close.)
3. Is it wrong to lie on the same bed together while reading, praying etc. All this would be done so there’s no occasion of sin. (For example, we’re not lying on top of each other or anything as that would lead to sin/temptation.)

What has your experience with this been, what’s okay in your opinion? What’s not?

Thanks everyone!

 

[antiaphrodite]

my humble :twocents:

1: i think not, though i highly advise against the room being the bedroom. just too dangerous.
why not leave the door just slightly open?

2: er, i don’t think so.

3: if there are other people and the door is open, why not?

there were times my mom and dad would stay with each other’s family, before they were married. nothing happened. and no, they didn’t sleep in the same room.

just be careful and keep God between you we’ll be praying for you two.

p.s i’ve never been engaged and i’ve never had a boyfriend.:bigyikes:

 

[puzzleannie]

yes, yes and yes. This physical intimacy in private leads to a “near occassion of sin” and temptation, and in public is annoying and inappropriate to everyone else. Save it for marriage.

 

[Darrel]

Hermione:

Hello everyone,

My fiance is staying with my family now, and will be for several weeks, so I have a few questions I’d like to get everyone’s thoughts on.

1. Is it scandal to be in the same room with a closed door? We’re not doing anything bad, but at the same time we want privacy.
2. Is it wrong to hold each other while watching a movie? (Lying next to each other, or me leaning back against him, half lying down.) Is this scandal? (This doesn’t lead to lust, but makes us feel close.)
3. Is it wrong to lie on the same bed together while reading, praying etc. All this would be done so there’s no occasion of sin. (For example, we’re not lying on top of each other or anything as that would lead to sin/temptation.)

What has your experience with this been, what’s okay in your opinion? What’s not?

Thanks everyone!

If you’re grown adults do whatever you’re comfortable with while respecting everyone else in the house. Chastity is a great thing as my fiance and I have learned. This several weeks in the house thing might be tough so maybe it’s wise to take special measures to eliminate potentials

-D

 

[rayne89]

Hermione:

Hello everyone,

My fiance is staying with my family now, and will be for several weeks, so I have a few questions I’d like to get everyone’s thoughts on.

1. Is it scandal to be in the same room with a closed door? We’re not doing anything bad, but at the same time we want privacy.
2. Is it wrong to hold each other while watching a movie? (Lying next to each other, or me leaning back against him, half lying down.) Is this scandal? (This doesn’t lead to lust, but makes us feel close.)
3. Is it wrong to lie on the same bed together while reading, praying etc. All this would be done so there’s no occasion of sin. (For example, we’re not lying on top of each other or anything as that would lead to sin/temptation.)

What has your experience with this been, what’s okay in your opinion? What’s not?

Thanks everyone!

1.No (although I agree probably not a bedroom)
2.No
3.No

Sweet heart your going miss all the joy in life if you keep worrying so much.

 

[Steve_Andersen]

1. no
2. no
   &
3. no

it’s not supposed to be that difficult

 

[selvaraj]

No,no,no. something will stimulate you to sin.

 

[Alterum]

This is Hermione.

What if the room is a bedroom? It’s my room, and the only one I have!!! What if we did commit the sin of scandal? Would we have to repair it by clarifying to everyone that what we did was wrong? (Or rather that we didn’t do anything)

Thanks

 

[kmktexas]

Hermione,

Technically, I don’t think you commit the sin of scandal. The sin is the sin of causing scandal. The church meaning and the common usage are different and this confuses many.

If any of those actions you listed above might cause people to believe that you are not following what the Church teaches, then you could be committing the sin of causing scandal. For example, let’s say you have a young sister whom you have told you are waiting for marriage. She then sees you and your fiance spending lots of time in your bedroom. Is this act likely to cause her to doubt what you have told her about church teaching? Will she possible stop seeing you as a virtuous example? That would be causing scandal.

Of course if any of the actions you descibed cause you temptation, then you have the issue of avoiding the near occasion of sin but that’s a different issue from scandal.

 

[ktm]

I personally would avoid lying down with someone other than my spouse (if I were married). Why put yourself in a near occasion of sin unnecessarily?

 

[Steve_Andersen]

To paraphrase Freud
Sometimes a hug is just a hug

 

[Annunciata]

Hermione:

Hello everyone,

My fiance is staying with my family now, and will be for several weeks, so I have a few questions I’d like to get everyone’s thoughts on.

1. Is it scandal to be in the same room with a closed door? We’re not doing anything bad, but at the same time we want privacy.
2. Is it wrong to hold each other while watching a movie? (Lying next to each other, or me leaning back against him, half lying down.) Is this scandal? (This doesn’t lead to lust, but makes us feel close.)
3. Is it wrong to lie on the same bed together while reading, praying etc. All this would be done so there’s no occasion of sin. (For example, we’re not lying on top of each other or anything as that would lead to sin/temptation.)

What has your experience with this been, what’s okay in your opinion? What’s not?

Thanks everyone!

Yes to all three…why put yourself in the near ocassion of sin??? You’re both human with wants and passions…
Yes I can still remember those days…the drive-in movies, etc…the only time I ever got to be alone w/ my fiance` …well almost …we always double dated… And yes we held out till the end…not easy, but we did and I’m glad.:yup: We both cried through our whole wedding…what a gift that was…what a beautiful memory… Sooo…take my advice, It’s well worth it.