"Shame on you" for believing

[quiet52]

It’s easier for me to evangelize to strangers than to family and friends.

Scripture tells us to shake the dust off our sandals and walk away when our words of faith are not listened to. But too many times I haven’t even bothered sharing the truths of the faith to family members (who consider themselves Catholic), knowing they’ll respond to me with contempt, scoff at me among each other, and make comments such as “shame on you…” for believing something is wrong, such as contraception, sex outside of marriage, gay relationships, missing Mass, and so on. My not accepting their lifestyles or distortions of faith is considered intolerance and MY defect.

But now there’s the next generation, being taught so many errors of faith, learning how to be indifferent and disrespectful toward the Church, and I ache for them. I pray for the wisdom and courage to evangelize to them, and for them, to hear.

Any ideas on dealing with family members who reprove us, who are trying to live and teach the faith, with “shame on you…”?

 

[brycelaliberte]

As my uncle treated me, I’ll try and explain.

Love them as if they were your own. If you gain their trust, they’ll listen to you when you want to speak about important things. And likely, they’ll want to talk about important things, in the least to express their ideas, which they likely don’t get to do with their parents if their lifestyle seems very lax.
Don’t force yourself on them, but that doesn’t mean you can’t offer to hang out. And the kids I know (like me) generally get to an age where as long as you offer food, they’re there.
After that, it would depend on the situation.

 

[quiet52]

As my uncle treated me, I’ll try and explain.

Love them as if they were your own. If you gain their trust, they’ll listen to you when you want to speak about important things. And likely, they’ll want to talk about important things, in the least to express their ideas, which they likely don’t get to do with their parents if their lifestyle seems very lax.
Don’t force yourself on them, but that doesn’t mean you can’t offer to hang out. And the kids I know (like me) generally get to an age where as long as you offer food, they’re there.
After that, it would depend on the situation.

Hi bry – good advice about not forcing anything on family. I don’t force anything – in fact I’m guilty of the other extreme, which is avoiding proclaiming the faith. But because so many parents and relatives are vocal in their rejection of the Church’s teachings and anyone who promotes them, I don’t know that I’ll ever gain their trust.

 

[Lariena]

Wow… this is nearly exactly the same question I posed. I agree it seems easier to focus on strangers. I think it is because we are a passing part of their lives where as we have to “live” with our families. I know that is why I am hesitant to broach certain topics with my family. Not to mention that after many years of spirited debate regarding various topics (ie ABC, abortion, etc), I know too well where my family stands on controversial issues. I feel like trying to explain why they should embrace the Church would fall on deaf ears. At least with a stranger, I feel like there is a chance something will get through… I will be interested in seeing what relies you get.

 

[Trishie]

The gospel reveals that Jesus had the same problem with His own people, His own townsfolk! One wise priest said to me when I took on some catechist work. “Faith is caught, not taught.” Of course people need the facts in order to choose, but souls generally aren’t actually won by winning arguments. If you argue the point with others, however right one is, they are often likely to become more entrenched in their viewpoints. Of course, you do have to speak up if there is support given to what is contrary to the gospels, but others may well interpret differently, so we are back to dependence on the Holy Spirit.

“When the Advocate comes, whom I shall send you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who issues from the Father, He will be my witness. And you too will be my witnesses.” [John 15: 26-27] “When He comes, He will show the world how wrong it was, about sin…and about judgement” and “about who was in the right: proved by my going to the Father…proved by the prince of this world already being condemned.”
Jesus promised, “I still have many things to say to you but they would be too much for you now. But when the Spirit comes He will lead you to the complete truth…All He tells you will be taken from what is mine.” “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and then you will be my witnesses not only in Jerusalem but indeed…to the ends of the earth.” [John 16:8-9, 12-13, 15]

With Brycelaberti, I believe that love, and prayer is the way.
** My older sister and my Dad and I prayed for years for my brothers and sisters. At one stage, only two of nine remained faithful. Now only three remain lapsed Catholics. My brother who was killed in 2002 had returned to the Church after 30 years outside it, just a month before his accident. We didn’t argue with any of them just continued to love, as I was also loved during my 10 years loss of faith. Grace brought those back who returned, sometimes quite unexpectedly**.

One prayer

**My Family **
God, I thank You for everyone in my family, for their goodness and abilities and for the difficulties that they have overcome.
Thank You for our mutual love and forgiveness of flaws or failures.

Jesus taught that whatever our other achievements, it is upon our charity that You will judge us. Scripture tells us “charity covers a multitude of sins”. Let charity cover the sins of everyone in our families, whether they believe in You or not. Let it implore Your everlasting mercy and redemption for each of us. Let each one remember Jesus’ account of the final judgement, and be encouraged to continue in loving and charitable works.

Lead each family member to heaven, welcoming the loving and kind intentions and acts of their lives as evidence of their worthiness to be counted with the “sheep” of “the Good Shepherd on the Day of Judgement”. If any of them overlook relationship with You or doubt Your existence, let the love and life manifest in their lives prove their fidelity to Your Spirit. Let them experience and embrace Your merciful love as they enter eternal life.

I offer my family to Your divine mercy, through the merits of Jesus, with the prayers of all saints and angels. Make us a delight to You in the way love characterises our lives.

…Trishie
“You must all think of what is best for each other and for the community. Be happy at all times; pray constantly; and for all things give thanks to God, because this is what God expects you to do in Christ Jesus. Never try to suppress the Spirit or treat the gift of prophesy with contempt; think before you do anything—hold on to what is good and avoid every form of evil. May the God of peace make you perfect and holy; and may you be kept safe and blameless, spirit, soul and body, for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. God has called you and He will not fail you…The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.” [Thessalonians 4:14-24, 28]

 

[allhers]

Pray in all things
“Keep telling them the truth, eventually it’ll sink in.”-Fr. Corapi
Just love them and pray for them and speak the truth quietly and softly. (after years of debates, arguments, anger, tears, frustration, shock, you name it, I have learned to just pray and speak the truth, cause nothing else did any good.)

 

[JRKH]

It’s easier for me to evangelize to strangers than to family and friends.

Scripture tells us to shake the dust off our sandals and walk away when our words of faith are not listened to. But too many times I haven’t even bothered sharing the truths of the faith to family members (who consider themselves Catholic), knowing they’ll respond to me with contempt, scoff at me among each other, and make comments such as “shame on you…” for believing something is wrong, such as contraception, sex outside of marriage, gay relationships, missing Mass, and so on. My not accepting their lifestyles or distortions of faith is considered intolerance and MY defect.

While you don’t need to look for a fight, you can make your postion (and the church’s position) clear. If they reject the teachings of the Church, they are NOT Catholic!
When they respond with contempt, and “shame on you…” simmply reply that you have no shame in Christ. You have no dishonor in believing and obeying His Church. You have no shame…

But now there’s the next generation, being taught so many errors of faith, learning how to be indifferent and disrespectful toward the Church, and I ache for them. I pray for the wisdom and courage to evangelize to them, and for them, to hear.

You are called to Holiness here. You must be like St Francis and “Preach the Gospel contantly, and when necessary use words.”
Display your faith to the younger ones.
Give them “religious” gifts especially when they are younger. Rosaries and books about Saints.

Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
Employ the Beatitudes.

Any ideas on dealing with family members who reprove us, who are trying to live and teach the faith, with “shame on you…”?

Hope this helps a little.

Peace
James