Share your vocation stories

[Pilgrim525]

I have been reading through the thread re “My discernment of the priesthood” and I thought wouldn’t it be beneficial for those young people in the forum who are presently discerning their own vocations to hear our vocation stories or how God has called us to a particular state of life?

My love for Carmel started when I was very young - about 12 or 13. That was when I saw the movie “The Carmelites”, the story of the 16 Carmelite Nuns who died during the French Revolution starring Jeanne Moreau. [Until now I continue to look for a copy of a DVD of that movie… anybody out there can help me?]

The final scene of that movie showing the nuns riding on a cart, singing on the way to their execution, had left an indelible impression in my soul, which haunted me for a long, long time. Every night in bed I would think about those nuns and their courage in the face of death obviously borne out of love for Jesus. I longed to be like them and I decided that if I should decide to enter the convent, I would surely be a Carmelite like them.

In 1973 at age 24 I thought I was being called to be a Carmelite cloistered Nun and inquired at a nearby Carmelite Monastery. While discerning my vocation I met my husband and the rest is history.

Sometime in 1989 and 1990 I got hold of the autobiography of St. Teresa of Avila and St. Therese of Lisieux. After I read them I decided I would live Carmel’s way even outside the walls of the convent. At that time I hadn’t heard about the existence of the Third Order just yet.It was only in 1991 that I learned about the TOC and after the Lord had given me His go signal I immediately joined a TOC community.

For those of you who sincerely asks for God’s guidance and direction in discerning your vocation, trust that He will never fail you. He will guide you to the right path best suited for you. As our Father in heaven He knows what is best for us.

God bless,
Nimfa

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

I’m 42 now, and felt the calling in the twilight hours, in the stupor of my sleep, after I was confirmed. That seed sprouted, but I was uncomfortable with the way of the nuns that was in my life. While they were from communities they had literally shopped for the jobs they got at the parish (which they were forced to do with changes that took place), didn’t have habits, wore jewelry and even makeup, and for the most part, were very pushy about women in the priesthood. In fact, we jokingly called one, “Fr. Mary Ann”. Now, there are a good many sisters, not in habits, that are good and faithful servents of the Lord, giving their life to him. But in those that were close to me, there was something that made me uncomfortable.

One day about a year later, I had gone on a trip with my ethnic parish to a sister ethnic parish in Chicago. It was my first encounter with nuns in habits. It called me like a magnet. I spoke to my pastor about the experience. He was the first one I ever told about my desires to become a religious and I shared with him how I did not want to become a “modern era sister.”

Contact was made with the mother house abroad after more discussion and just a few months after I graduated from high school, off I went, much to the dismay of my mother whom I didn’t tell until the decision was already made and plans were in the works. Dad was a devout Catholic and while he struggled with it, he was accepting and didn’t question it. Mom was another story and I knew it would be so which is why I never said anything earlier. I figured it was between me and God, then I included the pastor and other priests to whom I was close. I recall running out of the house when my mother “forbid” me to go. I sat crying in a drug store, hiding from my folks who were out looking for me. I picked up the phone and called my pastor who picked me up and took me back to his rectory. He then called the folks to come in, telling them that he head picked me up and I was safe. He explained the nature of vocations and told my mother that at 18 years of age I had no obligation to heed her call to not go. After a few harsh words about trying to obstruct God’s will, He told her that over his dead body would they hold me back if God called me to His service. That shocked her and she backed down, with some help from Dad. I felt guilty, but the will to serve God was so strong, I endured it with his loving grace. Father told me I had nothing to feel guilty about.

I spent over 2 years in that Franciscan community, out in a mountainous region (purposely leaving out country for now). I got up and watched the sun rise from behind one mountain in the morning and dropped down behind another in the evening. It was the best years of my life yet and counting.

I had to come home due to illness that just persisted the entire time I was there, having had problems acclimating to the water and food. I went down to under 100 pounds and landed in a hospital for 3 days when the plane touched down.

I wanted to go back and there was a sister house here in the US that was attached to the one internationally that I was at. But, it was too different. I had some bad vibes and backed away. I integrated back into secular life and never married because my heart is still with the Lord. I finally accepted that I had a vocation as a single person, but always keep my options open in case God sends the right man my way. Somehow, I feel deep down this is not to be. I’m so content in the arms of my Lord.

I too just discovered Third Orders which are open to lay people - single and married. Like Nimfa, I found my order in the lay Carmelites, drawn by my affection for the works of St. John of the Cross and my contemplative spirit.

 

[Pilgrim525]

Lux_et_veritas:

I spent over 2 years in that Franciscan community, out in a mountainous region (purposely leaving out country for now). I got up and watched the sun rise from behind one mountain in the morning and dropped down behind another in the evening. It was the best years of my life yet and counting.

Diane, remember about that TOC Novice I recently shared about who died of Cancer last January after being received into the Novitiate last November? She too had spent two years in a Franciscan Monastery when she was about 20 years. We also have a TOC Novice now who had been a simple professed OCD cloistered nun spending 8 years inside the convent.

When you entered the convent I knew you were very certain about your vocation. Would you have any idea about God’s purpose why He allowed you to leave it? Oh you know - God writes straight in crooked lines…

God bless,
Nimfa

 

[jpescala]

My Discernment

I want to start this story with prayer:

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

I was born in the Philippines and I am Catholic. I am currently attending Douglas College and taking Early Childhood Education to become a missionary teacher. With that in mind, I feel that I am called to go to Salesian Formation in New Jersey. Before I go any further, let’s take a step back and see what happened and how I got to this point. On grade 8, I had a plan. My plan A was to become a psychiatric nurse and my plan B was to become a salesian priest. HIghschool has gone by and grade 10, 11 and 12 came by, I started praying seriously and properly by asking God what he wants me to be and to do. I ended in the decision of not being a psychiatric nurse. I told myself that the only reason why I wanted to be a psychiatric nurse is because of money. Unlike others, I wanted money for myself and I did not want to share to anyone at all, or even donate it. I told my parents about my decision and my father asked me what I have decided to do. I did not want to pick plan B because I believe that there is something else meant for me.

When I like to think, I usually go for a walk and just to be myself. I ended up walking to Downtown eastside. I was pretty surprised and shocked to the fact that I am terrified of the homeless people living there because I thought that I would get stabbed by them or something that can hurt me. This boy approached me and he was wearing a white dirty and filthy shirt and a blue shorts. Unlike other homeless people, I was not afraid that he approached me. I saw that he was wearing a rosary. He was 5 years old and he was homeless for 2 years. He told his story to how his homelessness started. He said that when he was two years old, one night, he was sleeping. He overheard his parents talking and arguing. He heard them said that he was a ‘bad luck’ to the family. He said that he did not understand it then but when I talked to him he finally understood. He said that the reason why his parents called him bad luck is because his parents were not able to provide him the basic life necessities such as food, shelter, clothing and other things. As he continues his story, he said that after a while he fell asleep. While he was sleeping, he felt that someone was carrying him. He did not bother to look because he was really sleepy and were not able to move. The next day, he said that he found himself lying on the sidewalk of downtown eastside. He was afraid and confused why he was there. The first move that he did was to look for his parents. He looked all around but he could not find them; however, he found a church called Holy Rosary Cathedral. He said that he entered the church and he saw people kneeling down and their eyes were closed, and some eyes were open. He did not know what they were doing. A priest approached him and asked how he was and what he was doing in church.

He told the priest that he was lost and could not find his parents. The priest told him to kneel down and talk to that man on the cross. After that day he has been speaking to that man on the cross. His life was a struggle and sacrifice as well. All he trusted was that man on the cross. When we talked I told him that what he was doing was praying and I also told him that the man on the cross was Jesus Christ. I told him that Jesus Christ was the one that died because of the sins that we made. I explained to him what sins are and relate it to the Ten Commandments. What made my heart really spiritually loved was the fact that he was filled with joyfulness and hope! He told me his prayers. He was asking God that one day someone talks to him and spend at least three to four hours just talking to him. He said that I answered his prayers by just spending the time with him. I was fully amazed and I was about to tear up but I was really happy. While we were talking, I bought him ‘japadops’ also known as Japanese hotdogs.

After that talk I went home and told myself that this has to stop. I was pretty depressed because I forgot to ask his name! I told myself that he is my guardian angel. The boy helped me to open my eyes to what is out there and that I have to be really fully aware to what is going on. That conversation with the boy really helped me think of others before myself. Now like what I mentioned earlier, I am currently attending Douglas College and taking Early Childhood Education. The reason why I chose Early Childhood Education is to be a missionary teacher. I am also part of this youth group called Youth for Christ and every year we have an event called Regional Youth Conference. I was blessed to be able to partake in the event. I competed in dance and lead praise parade. The theme for that regional conference was ‘Dominus Est’ which means “It is the Lord” based on the bible verse John 21:7. That verse talked about how Simon Peter heard Jesus say it is the Lord. When Simon Peter heard that, he undoubtedly went to Jesus Christ. I would compare myself as Simon Peter and I was able to follow Jesus Christ during Regional youth conference. Early September of 2011, I was asked to discern to be a full time worker for youth for Christ. Back then, my prayers for becoming a full time worker was on and off because I was really focused on studying hard to become a missionary teacher.

The thing that I did was that I didn’t have an open heart. I took my heart and kept missionary teacher and I was not open to anything else. After the regional conference, I told myself that God is calling me to be a full time worker. I told my parents about it. It was during dinner time when I told my parents about it. At first I thought that they were mad. I thought that they didn’t support me. I went to my room thinking that my own parents are not supporting me. My dad called me again to go to his room and spoke to me. He asked me I need to be making right decisions because that is my life. He asked me what happened to becoming a salesian priest. I told him I didn’t want to be one because I was focused on becoming a full time worker. My dad told me that how I am so sure that God is not calling to be a Salesian Priest if I didn’t pray for it hard and that I haven’t tried it yet. He encouraged me to enter the salesian formation and to see if God is really calling me to be a salesian priest or not. After that I was pleased that he understands me. I talked to my spiritual director father Dave afterwards. He told me the same thing what my dad told me. My dad was becoming a priest until God called him to do something else. So as of now, I am currently still doing my normal life with school, work, youth for Christ service and other things. After I graduate from my program, I would head to New Jersey to join the salesian formation and to see if God is really calling me to be a Salesian Priest.

Amen.

St. John Bosco, Pray for us.

 

[nunsense]

Discernment of religious life is a very complex thing and I agree that God does write straight with crooked lines. Some of us make more crooked lines than others, but it’s ok, there are different ways to express commitment and perseverence.

My story is online here on my blog At Any Age. I wrote it to help myself understand what was happening to me but I think it can also be helpful for those who haven’t had an easy path to finding their vocation. (And my story isn’t over yet.)

I think the Third Orders are just wonderful for those who feel drawn to a particular spirituality and yet need to live as lay people for whatever reason. Almost all of the major Orders have some version of a Third Order. Carmelites have TOC and OCDS, Benedictines have Oblates and both Dominicans and Francsicans have tertiaries as well. God takes care of us all.