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CuriousInIL
Guest
A trivial question: If requested to by your spouse, should you shave? Or, is your spouse’s request just one (important?) factor in making your own personal decision on whether to shave?
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Lillith
Guest
I would. I recently got my hair cut and colored at the request of my husband, because he liked the way I looked before when I had it in this style.
I also would have not asked my husband to shave though. He shaved off his goatee last summer. I liked the goat…but I didn’t say put it back on, because that might make him feel like I didn’t like his face.
I, however, am a people pleaser. It is a disease you know. I can’t ask for what I want and I usually do what is requested of me. I’ll be curious what other people who don’t have this people pleasing thing have to say.
I also would have not asked my husband to shave though. He shaved off his goatee last summer. I liked the goat…but I didn’t say put it back on, because that might make him feel like I didn’t like his face.
I, however, am a people pleaser. It is a disease you know. I can’t ask for what I want and I usually do what is requested of me. I’ll be curious what other people who don’t have this people pleasing thing have to say.
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puzzleannie
Guest
it would depend upon the context, but in general any time my spouse asks me to do something to please him, that is within my capabilities and can be done without grave consequences to myself (or certainly nothing that is sinful, which has never arisen thankfully) I comply. That is not the answer I would have given 20 years ago, when I was still in the mode of asserting my own independence, identity and needs at every opportunity. Life has sure gotten easier since I decided to substitute love for resentment and obstructionism.
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YinYangMom
Guest
In scripture where it speaks about husbands being obliged to love their wives as Jesus loves the Church, and women being obliged to obey their husbands the underlying premise is that a husband would never ask a wife to do anything which would be detrimental to her in any way, shape or form. With that trust placed upon the husband to honor, protect and love her, a wife can feel comfortable complying with any request her husband makes of her because she knows it places her in the best light - not only in his eyes but the eyes of the Lord.
So, having that trust in my husband, and his having yet to fail me, yes…I’d shave if he asked me too (even though I already do)…but if he wanted me to color my hair (which I don’t now), I would. The thing is, the fact he hasn’t asked me to color my hair kinda reinforces my trust in him looking out for me - the complete me, as a person, not just his wife - because he respects my reasonings for not coloring my hair. The fact that he places my own comfort level with myself above his desire to be seen with a woman who appears younger than the grey hairs on her hair indicate shows me that he loves me for who I am.
So, having that trust in my husband, and his having yet to fail me, yes…I’d shave if he asked me too (even though I already do)…but if he wanted me to color my hair (which I don’t now), I would. The thing is, the fact he hasn’t asked me to color my hair kinda reinforces my trust in him looking out for me - the complete me, as a person, not just his wife - because he respects my reasonings for not coloring my hair. The fact that he places my own comfort level with myself above his desire to be seen with a woman who appears younger than the grey hairs on her hair indicate shows me that he loves me for who I am.
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puzzleannie
Guest
we used to have a running battle on whether or not I should wear my hair short or long. I personally can’t stand my hair long, especially in hot weather. I finally gave in, grew it out, and started going to the beauty shop weekly for hair care (I am totally incompetent to do this myself other than shampoo). When he saw the dollar cost of maintaining long hair, he gave in quickly and begged me to cut it.
in return, I let him wear whatever old shirt he wants, and refrain from telling him it should be used for a car-washing rag
we also had a long-running battle on ironing his shirts for work. I maintained that if God had wanted me to iron shirts He would not have given us permanent-press, but he preferred the freshly ironed look (which lasts until about 10 o’clock in the morning, but whatever). I told him to take them to the laundry if he wanted them ironed, so then we argued about who should pick them up (and pay for them). We actually left about 10 shirts in a laundry in Rochester MI when we moved because neither would go pick them up, because to pay for them would be a tacit acknowledgement of responsibility for “work shirt care and maintenance”. Talk about dumb.
p.s. I ironed his shirts before he left on his last business trip, but he irons them himself when he is up there. When MIL comes to stay the issue goes away because she loves to do laundry and iron. I am saving a whole bunch of stuff for her.
in return, I let him wear whatever old shirt he wants, and refrain from telling him it should be used for a car-washing rag
we also had a long-running battle on ironing his shirts for work. I maintained that if God had wanted me to iron shirts He would not have given us permanent-press, but he preferred the freshly ironed look (which lasts until about 10 o’clock in the morning, but whatever). I told him to take them to the laundry if he wanted them ironed, so then we argued about who should pick them up (and pay for them). We actually left about 10 shirts in a laundry in Rochester MI when we moved because neither would go pick them up, because to pay for them would be a tacit acknowledgement of responsibility for “work shirt care and maintenance”. Talk about dumb.
p.s. I ironed his shirts before he left on his last business trip, but he irons them himself when he is up there. When MIL comes to stay the issue goes away because she loves to do laundry and iron. I am saving a whole bunch of stuff for her.
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Orogeny
Guest
If my wife asked me to shave my beard, it would be gone that day. It’s just a beard and my wife is my best friend and, well, my wife. She’s the only one I want to impress!
Peace
Tim
Peace
Tim
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leaner
Guest
I solved the ironing thing really early…I didn’t do as good a job as he wanted (by accident? on purpose? I was working too at the time, so we both wore military uniforms – the womens uniform is tons easier to iron, so I’d do mine and his, but I didn’t live up to his standards…lol, so he takes them to be done or does them himself. He never asked me to iron them tho, just asked that I stop…LOL!
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kellyb32
Guest
I don’t iron…if we have clothes that are wrinkley, I throw them in the dryer for 5 or 10 minutes low heat with a clean wet washcloth…
I had a coupon for a free bottle of downey wrinkle release, works like a charm. My friend told me water in a spray bottle along with a few quick tugs to the garment works just the same.
My legs will look like a gorilla soon…my belly is getting in the way of shaving them. Doc said they don’t advise pregnant women to shave their legs anyway since their balance is off. They’d rather look at hairy legs instead of visiting you in the ER because of a fall in the tub.
God bless.
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leaner
Guest
Yeah…nice as it would be, you don’t get sharp creases in just the right spots that way – lol! Would that it did tho…I could do without the dry cleaning bills…but then again, it’s his paycheck that we cash to pay it, just as it’s his paycheck I use to get my haircut etc. etc. and on and on, so it’s both of ours to decide what’s worth spending the $$ on, kwim? This is working great for both of us tho, so we’ll stick with it until things need to change (I will try the downy on my stuff tho…always wondered how that worked, but didn’t want to spend the money on yet another gimmick…)
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dhgray
Guest
I would … I did. Happy wife, Happy life. Then again, when she asked me to shave, I asked her to shave too…:whacky:
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Shlemele
Guest
My wife likes it when I shave but Ihave a large scar on my chin and she doesn’t realize how self-consious I am about it. I shave everything but to make her happy but that is the one thing I can’t do yet. It was kind of a traumatic accadent (I woke up under a parked car and had my chin opened up to the bone).
I have also asked my wife to shave her legs only to hear “what difference does it make, it’s not like you won’t sleep with me anyways” For referance ladies we do like to feel like we are worth at least minimal effort…
I have also asked my wife to shave her legs only to hear “what difference does it make, it’s not like you won’t sleep with me anyways” For referance ladies we do like to feel like we are worth at least minimal effort…
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carol_marie
Guest
Your wife is one lucky woman !!
Bless you both,
CM
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LynnieLew
Guest
Can I borrow your mother in law?
Oops-back on topic. I don’t mind if my hubby has a goatee but it is the in between stuff I don’t like. It is too scratchy to smooch him! If you aren’t gowing anything (beard, goatee, etc), keep it clean and smoochable!
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