She might go for an abortion

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suezette

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Yesterday as I was trying to help a sick close relative, we discovered during the discussion, that she is about one month pregnant.
Suddenly she says she does not want it. I was shocked, that some can even mention that out loud. After the doctor had left, she repeats that to me. I just looked at her blankly, then she realizes and says " lets then first deal with what brought me here ".
I am Catholic, and she is protestant. I can’t deny also Catholic are involved in this act, but who says that out loud.
I am so lost, I don’t know if she has been doing this before, where do I start from, abortions are illegal in Uganda, which she knows. I just don’t know what to say, but for sure I an angry at her, and No i can not be a part of that.
Please advise.
 
I’m sorry about this. I’ll pray for your relative and for the unborn child.

Perhaps you might gently tell your relative that this upsets you greatly and you cannot in good conscience be a part of an abortion, but that you would be willing to help her with the pregnancy and with the baby (if indeed you’re in a position to offer help). And maybe give her information if there are social service agencies that can help her with her pregnancy and if necessary find a place for the baby if she were to have it but not wish to keep it.
 
Just continue to support her with affirming help-- if she isn’t ready or able to parent talk about adoption options. If she is scared of the social stigma offer to stand by her when she tells her parents or family or friends. If she is struggling with the father, offer to help her talk to him about supporting her during her pregnancy, marriage, etc.

Find pregnancy help resources in your country or city and give them to her-- social ministries, church organizations, etc.
 
Abortion is MURDER
Genesis 1:26-28 Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.”27 So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them;male and female he created them.28 God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.”

Matthew 10:30 And even the hairs of your head are all counted.
Luke 12:7 But even the hairs of your head are all counted. Do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Isaiah 45:10 Woe to anyone who says to a father, “What are you begetting? “or to a woman, “With what are you in labor?”

An abortion, or advise someone else to have an abortion is sinful .For a Catholic (One who procures an abortion is automatically excommunicated, as is anyone who is involved in an abortion, Canon 2350. The excommunication can be lifted in the Sacrament of Confession.)
 
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Well, I don’t know if you can adopt or not in Uganda, but putting him or her for adoption is better than killing it.

Try to give her help in the pregnancy and after, providing support. And of course, pray.
 
Definitely be supportive and available, so that she doesn’t feel alone and abandoned.

Few people choose abortion because they want to. It’s more often to see people choose it because they see it as the solution to their problem. It doesn’t solve anything, of course-- and frequently leads to a multitude of other problems, both physical/mental/emotional/spiritual-- but she’s probably not thinking through it that far. She just sees it as it’s marketed.

So you need to identify what her problem is that she’s looking to solve. Is she under social pressure? Financial pressure? Is she super-young, like 13 or 14 or 15, and is trying to protect the father? Is she afraid of her parents? Is she unable to juggle work and a child? etc. Figure out what she’s afraid of, and be supportive and helpful. It may be that adoption is the right choice in the end. Or perhaps her family will come through and be supportive. But rather than jumping to the conclusion “this is wrong” and trying to get her directly to Point Z, walk with her through points A-Y.
 
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As much as I disagree with Nietzsche on most things, one of his quotes hits home with me:

“The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of defending it deliberately with faulty arguments.”

I am as against abortion as anyone. Unfortunately, it is hyperbole to say that abortion is murder. Abortion is homicide. Murder is a legal charge. One of our problems with abortion is that it is not murder, but it should be.

In the same vein, it is problematic to say, “One who procures an abortion is automatically excommunicated, as is anyone who is involved in an abortion.” The following may not be true in Uganda, but in the US we are a nation “of the people, by the people and for the people.” So all of us in the US are responsible for abortions.

Now I can hear the whining already. “We have no control over what the government does and we will go to jail if we don’t pay our taxes.” So what is your answer? Just complain about it?
Responsibility does not imply control or consent. If a tree in your yard falls on a neighbor’s house, you are legally responsible even if you did not have anything to do with it. Joseph de Maistre, a Catholic and staunch defender of the faith after the French Revolution, who is spoken of highly in the Catholic Encyclopedia, said, “Every country has the government they deserve.”

If we don’t stop making excuses and dodging blame for what our countries do and get out and start trying to change it, nothing will change and we will be doubly responsible.
 
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Actually, It is murder you’re relying on legal definitions, instead of dictionary definitions. By the same way I can change the meaning of the word native, which actually means to be born in not Aboriginal, I can change meaning of the word suicide as in assisted suicide, which is a contradiction in terms, that would actually mean homicide, since a suicide by definition can’t be assisted. You know, you’re not really doing anything to help here.
 
People, this thread needs to focus on practical steps this friend can take to assist her pregnant friend in making life affirming choices.

Posts are moving off in tangential directions that are not only unhelpful but counterproductive.

If you want to debate abortion, start your own thread.
 
I know your having a hard time…I know you’re concern wth the baby and your relative. Just Comfort her. Abortion is not the solution for her problem. Babies are blessing. I will pray for her. I hope it will light her mind. And secured the baby.
 
Sure, i agree with most of your post ,i was saying, in the sight of the Lord to be specific,Abortion is Murder,those who advice or participate in all its dealings,the doctor, nurses,the hospices,are all responsible, and accomplice in the murder of the innocent before God.Therefore they would be serious consequence, for the abortions commited.

Genesis 9:5 For your own lifeblood I will surely require a reckoning: from every animal I will require it and from human beings, each one for the blood of another, I will require a reckoning for human life.

6 Whoever sheds the blood of a human,
by a human shall that person’s blood be shed;
for in his own image
God made humankind.
 
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It may have been just the shock at hearing the news from the doctor. Give her a minute to internalize the idea she is pregnant. As the other’s have said, support her and guide her to pro-life resources.
 
Yea, we deserve the abortive civilization because we submited ourselves to this,but if the majority of the citizens are secular people and dont believe in God, how do you suggest to fight against abortion?
What should be the measure of resistence?
Some people even call street preachers anti abortionists as christiopats , as synonyms to psychopats.
 
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We change the civilization the way Jesus said we would, through love. Every woman should feel so loved and protected and supported by those around her that she would not be afraid to bring a child into this world.
 
So are you suggesting that even though people are murdering 3,000 infants a day and getting away with it, we should not defend them out of fear that we be labeled as some made-up term by non-believers? What would the saints do? They were willing to be martyred on principle. I have put my own life on the line for a lot less in the military.

If these 3,000 were already born infants and people were murdering them and getting away with it, would you react differently? Would your different reaction have to do with the fact that you would get more support from the rest of society in that case? If so, wouldn’t that be that hypocritical?

I’m just saying take responsibility for what you believe in. It is one thing to sit back and think everything someone else’s responsibility and do what feels safe. If people believe abortion is murder, they should act like it’s murder. How you should react to murder is a matter for your conscience. I will not be the one inciting people to violence. Everyone must make their own choice about that.
 
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So she doesn’t want the baby or can’t afford the baby?
Definitely praying for her to realize what she is planning on doing and change her mind.
May God bless her with conscience.
I think you should tell her that you will not help her in procuring that abortion if she chooses in the end. End don’t mention religious differences because being against really isn’t a Catholic thing. There are many protestants and neoprotestants who oppose it very vocally and strongly. What she’s doing is not accepted by most of any Christian denomination or community. It’s just her choice being her own.
 
Thank you all for your responses.To start with, she is like my big sister, a mother of two, she has a job and her mother is the kindest person I have ever known.I haven’t met the father of her two children, and from what I hear it’s not the same person. What I don’t know is if this time, it is another man (a third father). No, she isn’t saying much, just “I don’t want it”; just that. She isn’t giving the why, or because. For sure I do not know the best approach. I work in the hospital from where she is getting treatment and would love to keep her confidentiality. But if she lands in the hands of some gynecologists, they will just go ahead for not little money, unfortunately they will subsidize for her if she mentions that she is a sister of a colleague.I say this, because a couple of weeks ago, a young lady who heard missed her period and had requested for an abdominal scan to confirm if she was pregnant, that morning, she was receiving a bill for a successful evacuation; and she casually said even the other nurse had the same done for her.I pray that she does not land in the hands of such health workers, and that I can find a way of approaching this situation
 
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suezette said:
a young lady who heard missed her period and had requested for an abdominal scan to confirm if she was pregnant, that morning, she was receiving a bill for a successful evacuation
Click to expand...
So this woman received an abortion when she only asked for a scan to find out if she is pregnant?
 
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