Should a 16 year old be forced to go to Confession

[AHapka]

sorry even if a teen can be trusted (and by OP’s account this one cannot) they have friends, and you are liable if they get into your liquor cabinet, then go out in a car and kill someone.

Actually there was just a court case here in my home state of Wisconsin where this happened when the parents were not home and they were not held liable in the death of another person. Because they were not home and had no way of preventing the occurrence.

To the OP: No, never, don’t even do it. Forcing someone into a Sacrament is exactly the thing to drive someone out of the church and resent it.

Not to mention that it would be invalid if she is not contrite. Not to mention that it could even the sin of sacrilege of the Sacrament of Penance. From newadvent: “Sometimes the guilt of sacrilege may be incurred by omitting what is required for the proper administration of the sacraments.” Since proper matter would be omitted, it might qualify. However, since she would not be doing it out of free will, I don’t think it would be a major sin for her. That sin could then fall on your shoulders.

I think you would be justified in forcing her to go in front of the Blessed Sacrament even if she doesn’t pray. Even if for 15 minutes to sit there in case the Spirit should decide to work on her soul.

There are many other good punishments you could use. There is also praying for the Spirit to work upon her heart.

 

[Em_in_FL]

Thank you for your Prayers a good advice.

I am definitely locking up the liquor.

Since Dad and Grandmom are not going to do much to help her-
She was made to call and apologize and I told her that I love her and that we need to talk about why she did this. She told me everything was worked out. In other words she didn’t want to talk about it. She is not being grounded, last night she went to Target with a girlfriend at 7:00 at night. -and no offer to pay for the stolen liquor.

I know now that I’m getting lip service from her.

I will try to get her to counselling.

To me… this situation sounds like a 3 year old who is told to “go say sorry” for taking her sister’s toy.

Simply “talking” about why she did this isn’t going to get you anywhere. She’s almost an adult and needs to remedy the situation as such… and you need to stand up and treat her like a 16 year old.

I would call her back and be frank… “Hey listen, I understand what high school’s like, but I am hurt that you stole from me. I expect you to pay me back for what you stole and to seriously think about how it feels when someone steals something from you. I love you, but that was just plain rude.”
I wouldn’t address the drinking aspect of it yet… if she can spit out an HONEST apology for the stealing, maybe that will be an opportunity for her to open up to you about why she’s turning to alcohol in the first place. Focus on the sin that hurt you (the stealing) first… without brining up the drinking aspect… that conversation comes next.

 

[gmarie21]

As for dealing with her partying problem, a friend of mine once came home extremely late from a night of partying. His parents didn’t yell at him (even though he broke their rules), instead, his dad woke him up at 5:30 am and made him do manual labor ALL DAY AND NIGHT!!! Needless to say, he never broke their rules regarding curfew or partying again (the punishment hurt him physically too much). To me, that’s creative parenting and punishment without preaching.

 

[Sierrah]

After a child has had his or her confirmation I don’t believe in forcing them do that or any other religious practice. Trust me it only pushes them in the other direction.

 

[AHapka]

As for dealing with her partying problem, a friend of mine once came home extremely late from a night of partying. His parents didn’t yell at him (even though he broke their rules), instead, his dad woke him up at 5:30 am and made him do manual labor ALL DAY AND NIGHT!!! Needless to say, he never broke their rules regarding curfew or partying again (the punishment hurt him physically too much). To me, that’s creative parenting and punishment without preaching.

My dad did that to me. It really worked, he worked my butt of with every chore he could think of. I had forgotten about it, it really is a good idea.

 

[Altesse]

Originally Posted by gmarie21
As for dealing with her partying problem, a friend of mine once came home extremely late from a night of partying. His parents didn’t yell at him (even though he broke their rules), instead, his dad woke him up at 5:30 am and made him do manual labor ALL DAY AND NIGHT!!! Needless to say, he never broke their rules regarding curfew or partying again (the punishment hurt him physically too much). To me, that’s creative parenting and punishment without preaching.

My dad did that to me. It really worked, he worked my butt of with every chore he could think of. I had forgotten about it, it really is a good idea.

Ditto.
My mom did this to me. I came home (quite drunk :hypno at 4:30 AM. She didn’t say a word, but made me get up at 8:00 AM and vacuum the ENTIRE house! I puked all day uch: .

But I never did it again . Smart Mom!