Should ending a friendship be the last resort

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My friend has rather liberal views on sex and politics. She has a strong personality that intimidates some and can at times being off putting to me. What annoys me if I freely discusses my views on casual sex, she would call me narrow minded, prude, judgmental. It annoys me mostly how she talks to me.
I feel like I’m walking on eggshells like if I say one wrong thing she’s ready to attack.
Most of the times after our interactions I’m annoyed, angry, I feel even more insecure, or I feel like I don’t like her.
She has commented that I give her looks of pure resentment.
I want to say I’d rather not discuss such matters without her judging me as immature.
Some of topics we discuss are rather sensitive like abortion, suicide, etc.
Her point is valid that we shouldn’t only discuss things that make us feel comfortable.
I sense she sees my sensitivity towards those issues as a weakness.
I know she has family issues and that is something we never discuss. As much as I would love her to open up, I respect her choice not to.
This friendship feel imbalanced.
I don’t feel like she respects.
I think her responses can be too short, too aggressive or unsolicited.
Overall I don’t feel happy
 
We are not required to maintain a toxic relationship. I ended a friendship with a long term friend for reasons I feel were valid. If you care to you may talk to her and ask if these issues can be avoided and just maintain a friendship on doing t hings together and enjoying the company of each other but given what seem to be a bold attitude that might be difficult.

You could have a talk with her and see how it goes first. I do think ending it should be a last resort but I don’t believe in participating in toxic relationships. Friendships should be a source of support as well as discussion in times of need, etc.
 
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I think I would try to untangle and disassociate with this person as it is a one sided friendship. You do not have to cut the cord instantly, but look for and find a friend who is more conservative or traditional. Clearly you resent her attitude, concepts and beliefs and her heels are dug in. You will not change her, she must change herself, but do pray for her. Don’t be dependent on her approval or friendship as you are your own person and belong to our Lord, not her. There are good people out there looking for good friends. Move on. Also, I find that when people ask for advice, they seldom take it. Do what is right and as the Spirit guides you. Peace.
 
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For me, my friends are all over the spectrum. We love and respect each other, so, we can have lively discussions and not have hurt feelings.

My life would have less flavor if every friend agreed with me.
 
I think you hit the nail on the head to not be dependent on her approval or friendship
 
Ideally doesn’t Christ want us to associate, love, and tolerate those with strongly different views? I don’t particularly like her crass/crude sexual talk or her promiscuous lifestyle. I know fully well if I were to tell her I’m general what I thought about sex and sexuality she would dismiss it as judgmental. I think that is what annoys me more than her views. I feel like she’s mildly condescending and treats me like I’m a sheltered naive little kid because of my conservative values. I sense she talks down to me.
 
I would not desire much time with a friend that I was always butting heads with, or that was a constant source of disagreement and having to avoid subjects. Most likely I just would not be available to them, and ease out of the “friendship.” People change, friendships fade. It happens all the time.

Honestly, what kind of a friendship is it? What does this friend bring to the table for you? What are you getting out of it, but also, what do you do for them?

Just something to think about. Maybe it is time for cutting back and then cultivating new friends with similar values and beliefs.
 
I always thought Christ wanted us to freely mingle with those who strongly different from us and it shows a weakness of character if we cannot. I had friends who fell heavy into the drug world - cocaine mostly and I left. I guess because it seems odd to disassociate yourself from someone because they’re unashamedly promiscuous. She has casually mentioned her desire to star in adult pornographic films. Very unfiltered with her sex life.
 
I think that we can have friends that are different than us, with opposite personalities, let’s say.

One friend might be more outgoing than you are, or a bit louder, and one may be more quiet and shy.

I’ve had friends like this.

Sometimes our values and politics have been different, but we’re not so far off that we really clash. We can still respect each other, and I think that is what it has to come down to–mutual respect and trust for each other.

I think that if you can’t respect each other, that will cause difficulty for the relationship.
 
That’s very beautiful to be able to associate with all others.
 
A friend who risks unwanted pregnancies, would probably procure an abortion if an unwanted pregnancy occurred, flirts with sexually transmitted diseases constantly, would like to appear in films where she is abused and treated like a piece of meat for the stimulation of people with an addiction to the abuse of women and their enslavement in a personally bankrupt industry, or would be involved in a relationship with pimps and procurers who treat women as objects of neither dignity or honor, and you are concerned about this person’s opinion of you???
Exceedingly promiscuous women (and she sounds like one) are compensating for something that is missing in their lives. You might consider that your adherence to character values that speak to a sense of dignity, independence, moral strength and courage, and self respect are a mirror in which she sees the pathetic nature of her beliefs and where they well might take her, but rather than change her ways, she needs to denigrate you to make herself feel worthwhile. Personally, I really don’t need a “friend” of this nature, but I don’t know your total situation with her.
I might suggest, remaining friendly, but limit your interaction to subjects and topics where you find agreement. When her life falls apart, like it just might if she keeps up her self delusion as to the value of her lifestyle, you might be the only friend left to rescue her from the hell she has chosen.
Good luck.
 
If your ‘friend’ really respected you she would respect the fact that you feel differently than she does about things and not try to provoke you. You would also come out ahead if you didn’t respond. Sometimes silence is the best policy when two people don’t agree on certain things.
St Arsenius said, “There are many times when I have regretted what I have said. But I have never regretted remaining silent.”
 
I don’t think silence is my problem. I don’t argue or challenge her in anyway. I wish I could tell her how I don’t want to hear her vivid sexual liasons. It is not even that it is the fact she calls me immature, sheltered or backwards. Where on the face of earth does it say I have to deal with rude friends? Trust me if I called her names for her promiscuity it would be wrong.
I’ve been raised to not cut off friends and be the bigger person. I think certain people have brought out the worse in me. I feel weighed down by my loyalty to someone who quit talking to me in a minute. She would cut me and never look back.
I think I need to stop talking, asking for advice, and make a choice.
What is the worse that will happen?
At some point my happiness in a friendship should matter to. We’re not married or family so I don’t have to deal with her.
 
What you describe is not friendship. Friends do not call each other names, want the best for each other.

If you and she see each other because of geography because she lives on your block or because you are in a class together or you work together, be polite and civil and then go on about your business. Let her see your good works, the love of Christ in you, but you do not have to just sit with her and be called names.

Don’t burn the bridge because if she continues down the path she talks about, there may come a time where she reaches out for help.
 
Is it ever right to make a choice based on your feelings? Some people end friendships simply because they do not feel happy anymore. How important is loyalty?
 
MargaretofCortona said:
Is it ever right to make a choice based on your feelings? Some people end friendships simply because they do not feel happy anymore. How important is loyalty?
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Feelings come and go. Though they should be noticed, it’s not enough to trust for significant decisions. Everyone has bad days, or even weeks.
 
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