Should i be supportive?

[TreeHugger]

Both my fiance and I face a similar situation: My father and his mother are ‘Catholic’, but not practicing. our parents are divorced, and they’re both dating awesome people whom are like family to us, and they are extremely happy, but we don’t know how to respond. I love my dad’s girlfriend, but he hasn’t had an annullment or anything, so I don’t feel it’s right to support their relationship. I want to see him happy, but i don’t know how to deal with Liz (his gf). They aren’t practicing, but i don’t think this means i should support them. Does anyone else face a similar situation, and how do they deal with it? I’m very close to my father, and i know he really cares for liz. I just don’t know how to stand on their relationship.

 

[darcee]

Well, look at your options. List out what the possibilities are and weigh the pros and cons with each one.

Only you can decide what you want to do.

But for a bit of advice… you are a grown child NOT responsible for your parent’s actions. But if you get up on a high horse and make a snit about the girlfriend bit you will in all likely hood alienate your parent. They are going to side with their love interest over a grown child 9 times out of 10 if not more. And really… you know… they should. What if they do end up getting annulments and married? Do you want all the former bad blood of taking a stand against their relationship in the way?

Life is not so clean and simple that our hearts and souls are always in the right place. I would, maybe – if you are close, ONCE explain what is bothering you about the situation to your parent in a non-confrontational manner then leave it alone.

When you have children and need to explain it to them it is slightly more tricky, but we all have to learn eventually that even people we love dearly sometimes sin… seriously… and unrepentingly.
-D

 

[dhgray]

TreeHugger:

Both my fiance and I face a similar situation: My father and his mother are ‘Catholic’, but not practicing. our parents are divorced, and they’re both dating awesome people whom are like family to us, and they are extremely happy, but we don’t know how to respond. I love my dad’s girlfriend, but he hasn’t had an annullment or anything, so I don’t feel it’s right to support their relationship. I want to see him happy, but i don’t know how to deal with Liz (his gf). They aren’t practicing, but i don’t think this means i should support them. Does anyone else face a similar situation, and how do they deal with it? I’m very close to my father, and i know he really cares for liz. I just don’t know how to stand on their relationship.

Your posting is very beautiful and we can see that you really care about your family and about your faith. I would suggest that you print off your question and read it word for word. Be open and honest with both your dad and liz.

God Bless you,
Davis

 

[WhiteDove]

darcee:

Well, look at your options. List out what the possibilities are and weigh the pros and cons with each one.

Only you can decide what you want to do.

But for a bit of advice… you are a grown child NOT responsible for your parent’s actions. But if you get up on a high horse and make a snit about the girlfriend bit you will in all likely hood alienate your parent. They are going to side with their love interest over a grown child 9 times out of 10 if not more. And really… you know… they should. What if they do end up getting annulments and married? Do you want all the former bad blood of taking a stand against their relationship in the way?

Life is not so clean and simple that our hearts and souls are always in the right place. I would, maybe – if you are close, ONCE explain what is bothering you about the situation to your parent in a non-confrontational manner then leave it alone.

When you have children and need to explain it to them it is slightly more tricky, but we all have to learn eventually that even people we love dearly sometimes sin… seriously… and unrepentingly.
-D

Ditto the above. Excellent advise. Darcee, you ought to start an advise column!!!