Should I change parishes or try to change my parish?

[THurifer2]

I should clarify that our parish is very small and rather casually run. There is no liturgical planning committee that parishioners can get involved in; the 2 priests and the music director decide virtually everything. I’ll also say that no such meetings have been held since, to my knowledge (and I read the bulletin pretty thoroughly most weeks).

l.

Two priests and a small parish? WHo trains the Altar boys? WHo decorates that church? Who is the sacristan? You need to check to make sure that the music director is doing all of that on their own…I find it hard to believe there is no liturgy committee… regardless of parish size it is alot of work…someone has to schedule Lectors, Servers and Ushers etc. It aint the priests. My parish is around 300 familes. I thinkyou need to check into seeing if there are actually committees to join. Most dioceses MANDATE committees at the parish level. Canon law requires at least a parish council and finance council …see Canon 536 and 537. I say it is time to approach the priest and see who is involved with the Liturgy. My parish has an entire commission (remember 300 families) called worship and liturgy commission I used to chair it. In fact I am sure that Vatican II called for a broader use of consultive committees in parishes. Perhaps you do not need to change parishes it sounds like you need to approach the priests and ask to form a liturgy committee. WHich likely is mandated by your diocese anyway.

 

[erinmlee]

Two priests and a small parish? WHo trains the Altar boys? WHo decorates that church? Who is the sacristan? You need to check to make sure that the music director is doing all of that on their own…I find it hard to believe there is no liturgy committee… regardless of parish size it is alot of work…someone has to schedule Lectors, Servers and Ushers etc. It aint the priests. My parish is around 300 familes. I thinkyou need to check into seeing if there are actually committees to join. Most dioceses MANDATE committees at the parish level. Canon law requires at least a parish council and finance council …see Canon 536 and 537. I say it is time to approach the priest and see who is involved with the Liturgy. My parish has an entire commission (remember 300 families) called worship and liturgy commission I used to chair it. In fact I am sure that Vatican II called for a broader use of consultive committees in parishes. Perhaps you do not need to change parishes it sounds like you need to approach the priests and ask to form a liturgy committee. WHich likely is mandated by your diocese anyway.

Point taken, there are most certainly other people behind the scenes fulfilling responsibilities that I’m not aware of. Maybe I’m making assumptions and jumping to conclusions here without knowing all the facts.

I looked at my most recent bulletin and realized that the music director is also the director of liturgy. I didn’t know that was part of her formal title, but it explains why she not only directs the choir, but also trains the altar servers, lectors, and EMHC’s, and why she has been in charge of virtually every activity I’ve ever participated in. I will ask her if there is a liturgy committee - now I am curious (though somewhat discouraged, being quite familiar with her personality).

 

[Tedster]

Unless you are a liturgist or pastoral council member or lead catechist or teacher I am wondering how you are single handedly “change” a parish.

That is true. But that is why it is important to write to the Bishop. Very few Bishops are willing to sidestep addressing an abuse when the facts are laid out in a sensible fashion. Do your homework, cite the GIRM and other official documents and you will be amazed how weak a Liturgist, pastoral council member or DRE actually are.

TO save you some time I would suggest you move on. The parish you attend that has the abuses, does so because someone wants things the way they are. This someone would be the person you would likely have conflict with.

With all due respect, if we continue to run, these folks will always have their way. Why will we not fight for what Christ gave to us? A wise priest I know gave me that advise when I was in the same situation as the OP. Now, not all abuses at our parish are completely gone, but I hope to have much more time, God willing, to fight each and every one.

BTW, many of the abuses at our parish have been addressed, and the Pastor was actually relieved to have them addressed (at least that is what he says) and corrected. Some pastors, for whatever reason don’t seem to think they have the support of the parish and take the easy road, not wanting to “stir the pot” with changes. As soon as they have someone step up, it becomes easier for them.

That is just my opinion though, take it for what it’s worth.

 

[Tedster]

Now saying that I do not intend to be disrespectful BUT… there aint no way you will “change” anything in your church without being in a leadership postion or VERY involved with your parish in an official status. Get elected to somthing or volunteer to CHAIR a committee.

With all due respect, I have proof to the contrary. Getting the Bishop involved will do wonders, as I stated in my previous post. If we all wrote one letter to our Bishop, how do you think they would respond? Now I am not advocating an all out letter writing campaign, but my point is that if even a small portion of folks ask for the Bishop’s help in resolving issues, they will be amazed at the rewards… guaranteed.

 

[Tedster]

As I mentioned in another post, I have decided to change parishes. We actually have a rather fantastic bishop who has done a lot to encourage orthodoxy in the diocese. It honestly seems like every parish in town except mine is complying. (Mine is a Newman Center; maybe that has something to do with it?) But your point is well taken, and I plan to make a sincere effort to be more involved at my new church, certainly before I start complaining about the way something is done.

I am sorry to hear that. I am sure you are doing what is right for you, but I truly believe we are called to fight for what is right in our Church, especially at the parish level. When I want to give up in this same situation, I think about all the parishioners I would abandon that are not as informed as you about their faith.

Believe me, I know it is hard to stand up, and your experience with your own pastor makes it that much harder, but Christ told us that it would not be easy. My family and I feel as if we are the “sticks in the mud” that are not willing to go along with this wonderful liberal movement that threatens our Church (at least we think that is how we are viewed by the pastor and liturgist). But think of the graces you will receive for standing up.

As an aside, have you prayed before the Most Blessed Sacrament and asked for guidance? I know that the Holy Spirit will help you to overcome your fears. Just a thought.

If it still turns out that you need to switch parishes, never stop praying for those left behind, and mostly for the priests that are allowing the flock to be divided.

God Bless.

 

[turtleoompa]

I would kindly speak to your pastor. If that doesn’t work write to your Bishop. There were several abuses regarding EMHC at my parish. I spoke to the pastor and he stated he had not heard of any corrections from the Bishop. Thus he would not address the issue. I wrote my Bishop. I had to remind the Bishop’s office several times of my unanswered email and it took several months and low and behold the Bishop apparently instructed our pastor of the proper corrections to the abuses. We are in the process of correcting the abuses. I kept it low key and respectful. I feel good that I helped make a change for the good of our Mass. I know the Pope would be proud.

 

[La-Petite-Fleur]

I attend one of those parishes where lots of liturgical abuses take place. I am rather scandalized by many of the things that go on in my parish. I’ve attended several other churches in the area and have not seen ANY of the abuses that take place at my church. Would it be appropriate for me to change parishes? Or is it probably more important to try to bring about change in the church I’m at? Honestly, I feel that I’m up against some pretty strong personalities and probably wouldn’t get far.

A factor I want to consider is that my extended family also attends this parish. My dad understands how I’ve been feeling, but my mom thinks it’s more important for all of us to attend the same church.

Also, my husband is seriously considering joining the Catholic church. If I continue at my current parish, I’m fairly certain he will learn virtually nothing in their RCIA program.

So I’m stuck - what should I do? Would love some (name removed by moderator)ut on this difficult issue. Thank you!

I always suggest for people to leave such parishes and to tithe at loyal parishes.

 

[erinmlee]

I am sorry to hear that. I am sure you are doing what is right for you, but I truly believe we are called to fight for what is right in our Church, especially at the parish level. When I want to give up in this same situation, I think about all the parishioners I would abandon that are not as informed as you about their faith.

I am rethinking my decision to leave. I’ve been thinking and praying and re-reading all of the posts here over the last couple of days. Many people have suggested that I move on, many others that I at least write or talk to my pastor and/or the bishop first.

Thanks to some challenging questions (particularly by THurifer2), I have realized that I’ve made incorrect assumptions about the way things are run at my church. THurifer2, I was wrong. I looked into it and found out we DO have a liturgy committee. I’m going to join.

I believe my church is worth fighting for. Maybe I won’t be able to make a difference, but I won’t know for sure unless I try. It doesn’t feel right to leave without at least making an effort!

 

[Tedster]

I am rethinking my decision to leave. I’ve been thinking and praying and re-reading all of the posts here over the last couple of days. Many people have suggested that I move on, many others that I at least write or talk to my pastor and/or the bishop first.

Thanks to some challenging questions (particularly by THurifer2), I have realized that I’ve made incorrect assumptions about the way things are run at my church. THurifer2, I was wrong. I looked into it and found out we DO have a liturgy committee. I’m going to join.

I believe my church is worth fighting for. Maybe I won’t be able to make a difference, but I won’t know for sure unless I try. It doesn’t feel right to leave without at least making an effort!

You will be rewarded for your efforts! You may or may not be successful, but the effort will be recognized. I will pray that the Holy Spirit will guide and protect you and ask that you do the same for me and all who are fighting to defend the sacred liturgy!