Should I enter a Convent?

[GoLatin]

I am a 23-year-old woman.

I am wondering: should I enter a convent, or should I get married(I am not currently dating)?

Reasons to enter a convent:

1. I like men, but I don’t think that I ever want to have sexual relations.
2. I am terrified of ever suffering a miscarriage.
3. I don’t want to go through the pain of giving birth.
4. So far, I have been asked a total of EIGHT times either if I am a Nun, or am planning to become one.
5. I am very interested in religion(Catholicism, of course).
6. The idea of becoming a nun intrigues me.

What do you think?

 

[puzzleannie]

none of your reasons states that you have discerned a calling from Christ to consecrate yourself to him in religious life. until you can make that affirmation, you should not enter the convent. Religious life is not an alternative for those afraid of marriage and child-bearing, it is the primary choice of those called by Christ to serve him in that vocation. It is embraced in joy, not fear.

 

[spiritblows]

I think you should not be asking a bunch of strangers on an internet but go through the proper channels for discernment. This is not the place to get this kind of advise.

 

[Darrel]

Sounds like your reasons to not get married are rooted in some fears. I think you need to discern fully through prayer and proper spiritual guidance before you decide either way.

-D

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

I think both, some married-minded women, and religious life-minded women who have not engaged in sexual relations and who have not given birth, give some thought to those things.

One thing for sure, any religious order will tell you that fear of the things you suggest do not in any way indicate a calling. Rather, they send up a signal as to whether one is running to something (religious life) or running from something (having kids).

I know several who have been called to religious life, who didn’t date much and were prayerfully attached to the Lord. Discernment involves what I would call - courtship with Him. Much like a young woman courting a man, she thinks about him constantly to the point of eventually being preoccupied. It is this kind of love that truly draws a woman to give up the married life so that the Lord becomes spouse.

I think it would be foolish to say that just because you have these fears you are not suitable for religious life. Rather, you need to explore communities and see where it leads. View sites like this and see if anything is appealing to you and then initiate contact through email. Many are willing to help. Right now, traditional orders are in a boom while the more progressive or non-habit orders are dropping in numbers. One example is the first link:

sistersofmary.org/

religiouslife.com/

Never run “from” anything “to” religious life. Always examin your conscience when sensing a possible call as to whether you are doing so for escape or to develop that lifelong spousal relationship with the Lord.

Also, there are different kinds of religious life as a sister.

There are contemplative orders that are cloistered, and non-cloistered. The cloister means they spend their lives behind an enclosure. They need dispensation to leave. While not many understand this life, it is necessary for our Church to have people who spend their life in prayer. That is the primary job of a cloistered nun. This includes Carmelites, the Visitation Sisters among others.

vistyr.org/formationofsisters.html

Non-cloistered contemplatives simply have a deeper type of prayer life, which often involves two hours of mental prayer.

religiouslife.com/vocsearch/search.phtml?view=d&my_id=130&criteria=d

Then there are orders such as the Franciscans, Benedictines and many others found in that link above.

Explore and see if something calls you, then make contact and ask for help in discernment.

 

[Deacon_Ed]

GoLatin:

Diane has given you some excellent advice! The religious life is not an escape from this world or the things in it. One must be called to the religious life, not escape from married life.

You might want to talk to a priest or, if there is a convent nearby, the Mother Superior there and get some direction.

I have served as the spiritual director for several young women (and some not so young women) seeking an answer to the same question you asked. You need a spiritual director, and you need to spend time in prayer seeking your answer.

Deacon Ed

 

[Rebecca_New]

It appears to me that you have really been exploring all areas of your life at once. The main question is “Is the Lord calling me to the Sacrament?” The Lord will open the doors as you are ready to have them opened. In any case, the Lord will love your readiness to serve His Holy Name.

I will pray for your enlightenment.

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

Deacon Ed:

GoLatin:

Diane has given you some excellent advice! The religious life is not an escape from this world or the things in it. One must be called to the religious life, not escape from married life.

You might want to talk to a priest or, if there is a convent nearby, the Mother Superior there and get some direction.

I have served as the spiritual director for several young women (and some not so young women) seeking an answer to the same question you asked. You need a spiritual director, and you need to spend time in prayer seeking your answer.

Deacon Ed

The spiritual director is a great point. Anyone discerning, male or female, should have one. But, I would urge you to find one who is more interested in helping you in light of the magisterium (orthodox), than one who wants you to challenge the magisterium (dissenters). There are plenty of dissenting nuns out there. But, let me tell you that when you find a nun in a traditional habit, chances are she is loyal to Holy Mother Church.

I only say this because some orders are highly progressive, like the Ursulines found at this site. There is a concoction of new age, eastern mysticism, you name it here and it is dead wrong. Stay away from stuff like this, even if it claims to be “Catholic”. In fact, you’ll be lucky to find anything Catholic at this site. Yet, they are sisters.

:nope:

ursulinesophiacenter.com/about.htm

 

[GoldenArrow]

You know you have a vocation for being a Nun if you love Jesus Christ more than anything or anyone in this world. You must love Him more than yourself, more than your family. You must love Him more than any attachment to this world, so much so, that you’d sacrifice all of the above: family, the world, your whole self to belong ONLY to Him.

To have a vocation, your non-interest in marriage stems not out of fear of sex or having children or motherhood, but ONLY because you have no interest in other men because your love of Jesus Christ eclipses everything. He is the Sun in your life and his light bleaches out the features of everyone and everything around you.

In other words, you are in love with Perfection Itself, and because of this no imperfect, sinful man of this world will satisfy you. Only Jesus Christ will satisfy. No man walking on this Earth can compete with His perfections, His love, so you become disinterested in men of this world because they can’t hold a candle next to Our Lord.

Entering a convent is a very serious decision, and if you aren’t 200 percent head-over-heels in love with Jesus Christ, a convent isn’t for you. A convent is a tough life, for the Bride must resemble her Bridegroom in the end, as He was on Calvary. (St. Faustina said this). It is a life of penance, prayer, suffering and sacrifice. Secondarily, our of love for Him, proceeds a great love of neighbor and related works. It’s a heroic life, not something to be entered into out of fear of sex, marriage, or motherhood. If you enter out of any reasons outside LOVE for God, you will fail.

Remember, also, that marriage is a sacred union, and there’s nothing wrong with having children and being a wife and mother. Marriage is holy, too. This might be a better option for you, but if not, there are other:

A third option would becoming a professed Third Order Sister of some order, like unto a Nun who lives and works within the world, but who is not part of it. Third Order Sisters don’t live in convents. Technically speaking, Nuns live in convents, while Sisters live in the world.

A fourth option would be becoming a non-professed Third Order Sister of some sisterhood or order of your choice. You could voluntarily practice poverty, celibacy and obedience, but this would not be required. In fact, Married women can be non-professed Sisters.

Also, each order lists requirements for daily Spiritual Works, depending on your level: Nun, professed Sister, non-professed Sister.

Professed means you take vows of poverty, chastity/celibacy and obedience.

And if I’m in error, please correct me. I wrote this off the cuff.

A fifth option would be not being officially entered into any order but volunarily practicing poverty, celibacy and obedience in the realm of the Single life. I practice this because of the reasons listed above. I am 34 and don’t date because no man can compete with my love for Jesus Christ. Earthy men are inconsistent, sinful, heartbreakers and, well, no offense intended fellows, they are not worth my time. They’re just not worth trifling with because they will never satisfy me. I know this. I am in love with Perfection. I have no interest in devoting my life to any other man besides Jesus Christ. I am heterosexual, too. Were I in better health, and were I younger, I’d consider a convent. I just entered the Church at a very old age, and by now, am probably too old. HA! I basically entered into this vocation by making private vows that I am only His and that if I could, I’d be one of his spotless Brides.

And that is, in a nutshell, how you know if you have a true vocation for being a nun.

Oh, also, you know you have a vocation for being a nun if people around you think you are NUTS for being head-over-heels in love with someone who walked this Earth 2000 years ago. LOL!!! If you’ve not yet been accused of insanity, you don’t have a true vocation. HA!

God Bless!

 

[Guar_Fan]

GoldenArrow:

A fifth option would be not being officially entered into any order but volunarily practicing poverty, celibacy and obedience in the realm of the Single life.

And a sixth option is similar but involves vows - becoming a Consecrated Virgin.
The number of women who live as consecrated virgins is small (about 1,500) , but growing.

A woman living in the world who has never married or lived in open violation of chastity, and who by age, prudence, and good character is deemed suitable for dedicating herself to a life of chastity in the service of the Church and of her neighbor may petition her bishop to receive the Consecration. She must be admitted to this Consecration by her local Bishop; it is he who determines the conditions under which the candidate is to undertake a life of perpetual virginity lived in the world. Usually, a woman who aspires to the Consecration works with a spiritual director and has lived a private promise of perpetual virginity for some years before seeking the Consecration of a Virgin.

It is understood that a laywoman aspiring to the Consecration of a Virgin is able to support herself by work or pension or independent means and has provided financially for her medical care.

A woman aspiring to the Consecration should be practicing her faith. She accepts the teaching of the Church and Sacred Scripture, with a readiness and capacity for personal growth. She should be able to give herself totally to God and the Church.

consecratedvirgins.org/cv/becomingcv.html

An interesting article about a woman who is a consecrated virgin appeared in the Detroit Free-Press earlier this year. Unfortunately, the newspaper has discontinued the webpage but you can still read it in the google cache: Virgins by choice, women embrace ancient ministry

 

[Grace_and_Glory]

I also want to point out that, although religious life is certainly only for those who are totally in love with Christ, marriage is by no means only for those who are not totally in love with Christ. There are people who get married who would be willing to give up everything if Jesus asked them to, but they discern that Jesus is calling them to marriage. They follow His call because they are totally in love with Him. The bottom line is that whatever your vocation is, you should choose it out of love, not fear. The specific way of living out love differs according to what your vocation is, but love should always be at the center.