Should I forgive God for being God?

[Asuno]

The nature of my problem is simple; I get angry with God. I get angry a lot. Primarily, it’s about the promises He makes but doesn’t keep. “Whatsoever you ask of my Father in my Name, He grant you,” indeed! Oh, I know, He’s not going to grant me anything I ask for—I really don’t expect* that *of Him—and I know He’s not going to give anyone anything He knows will hurt them. Nonetheless, when Jesus said, “Ask you and you shall receive, seek and you will find, knock and it will be open to you,” and “If you had the faith the size of a mustard seed, you could command this mountain to be cast into the sea and it would be done,” I took Him at His word.

Now, for the last three years or so, I’ve been struggling. I lost my job back in January 2005, and while looking for work, went through my entire life savings and maxed out my credit cards to the tune of $11,000 while struggling to make ends meet. Now, in January 2008, I finally got a new job—and it’s been a great job—but I still can’t make ends meet. All through this I’ve asked God for help, and it seems to me He ignores me more often than not.

I’m hovering dangerously near bankruptcy, which will cost me my job (it’s a federal job, and the “appearance of impropriety” [whatever that means] applies somehow), and all I’ve struggled through will mean nothing. In the meantime, I’ve developed hypothyroidism, depression, obesity, high blood pressure, and pre-diabetes. All through this I’ve begged the Lord for help; not just financial, but physical (healing), mental, and spiritual. Nothing. In fact, everything just keeps getting worse! I put in overtime (risking my health) to earn more, and what happens? My car starts falling apart! I know I’ll have to buy a new one soon. All through this, I’ve prayed and prayed, and my life situation keeps getting worse!

And that’s why I’m angry at God, which I know is wrong, and yet I can’t help it. But something I’ve read recently suggests “forgiving God” for when it seems He’s “doing nothing,” or punishing you, or whatever, because He’s just being God, and we’re not, and that’s what people like me really get angry about. Is this right? Will this work in helping me letting my anger go?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

I’m very sorry for all the difficulty you’ve been going through. I’ll keep you in prayer and ask that readers do so also. Please see the links below for information that may be helpful for your specific financial difficulties. You may be able to obtain the books through interlibrary loan.

To answer your specific question though, no, you can’t “forgive God for being God.” To do so would be like my saying that I forgive you for being you. And how insulting would that be? What you can do is to forgive yourself for being angry with God at his apparent silence. With all of the hardships going on in your life, it is understandable that you might not hear God’s voice speaking to you. But I can assure you that he has been there and that his “silence” is not true silence but an invitation to join him on his walk to Calvary. St. Francis De Sales once said:

The everlasting God has in his wisdom foreseen from eternity the cross that he now presents to you as a gift from his inmost heart. This cross he now sends you he has considered with his all-knowing eyes, understood with his divine mind, tested with his wise justice, warmed with loving arms, and weighed with his own hands to see that it be not one inch too large and not one ounce too heavy for you. He has blessed it with his holy name, anointed it with his consolation, taken one last glance at you and your courage, and then sent it to you from heaven, a special greeting from God to you, an alms of the all-merciful love of God.

Recommended reading:

How do I get God to stop punishing me?
The Catholic Answers Guide to Family Finances by Philip Lenahan
Seven Steps to Becoming Financially Free by Philip Lenahan (workbook, apostolate)
The Complete Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn