Should I have refused to be "anointed" as part of a methodist baby baptism?

[Tamsulosin]

My husband (catholic) was chosen to be the godfather of an employee’s baby girl.
Although the baby’s father is catholic, the ceremony was in charge of a methodist priest friend of their family, at their home.
I just accompanied my husband, but when the ceremony started ,it was made clear to me that being the wife of the godfather I would be guiding the child as well, so they anointed my head with oil and, just like with the others, they asked me to wash my hands in a water basin,“because I would also be handling the child from now on”
I uttered softly that I was catholic, and really did not belong in the ceremony.But I was told nicely that being linked to my spouse, I would be linked to the baby as well.
I went along,since Christ is the same for both religions, and Christ’s name was invoked in the baptism.Also I did not want to create a situation.
Was I wrong?

 

[Mel_Stones]

Check out this link

Catholic Godparent to Protestant Child?

Basically Catholics aren’t suppose to be godparents for protestants or vice versa - general Christianity is not enough to excuse the differences in faith.

I recommend speaking with a priest. Under the circumstances I understand (but don’t condone) you going along with it . . . . . . you probably shouldn’t have gotten into the circumstance in the first place. Why did your husband agree to help raise a child in a faith that is not his own?

I would definitely speak to your priest.

Christ’s peace.

 

[1ke]

I’m sorry, I’m a little confused. You say the baby’s father is Catholic. But, the baby was baptized Methodist?

(a) Your husband, a Catholic, cannot be a godparent in a methodist baptism. So the starting point is that he should have declined the invitation to be a godparent.

(b) Methodists don’t have priests

(c) It seems rather odd that the baptism was done at a home

(d) You are correct that neither you nor you husband should have received “anointing” from a Methodist minister. And, what is even more unusual is that there seem to have been some rituals not normally part of a baptism. The parents/godparents are not anointed, the one being baptized is anointed. And, hand washing? That’s not part of a baptism either, and their explanation of you “handling” the baby from now on-- also odd.

(e) The spouse of a godparent is not a godparent, so I’m not sure why they kept trying to draw you into the situation as if you were going to be a godparent.

I guess the moral of the story is in the future, if you are not comfortable with something don’t let others bully you into doing things you don’t want to do. I’m not sure why you didn’t simply say no and mean it.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

My husband (catholic) was chosen to be the godfather of an employee’s baby girl.
Although the baby’s father is catholic, the ceremony was in charge of a methodist priest friend of their family, at their home.
I just accompanied my husband, but when the ceremony started ,it was made clear to me that being the wife of the godfather I would be guiding the child as well, so they anointed my head with oil and, just like with the others, they asked me to wash my hands in a water basin,“because I would also be handling the child from now on”
I uttered softly that I was catholic, and really did not belong in the ceremony.But I was told nicely that being linked to my spouse, I would be linked to the baby as well.
I went along,since Christ is the same for both religions, and Christ’s name was invoked in the baptism.Also I did not want to create a situation.
Was I wrong?

Well your husband (Catholic) is not permitted to be the Godfather at a non-Catholic Baptism, (except Orthodox, however unlikely)

 

[Tamsulosin]

Thinking about this, I did not have communion today, and plan to go to confession and see what my pastor suggests I do now.My husband is already the godfather and there is no going back.He took the responsibility and cherishes the baby.
What would be my part now,and the path to follow for me is what I need to find out as we face the future as a couple, with one of us having taken that job.I think my hubby just felt honored and went for it since he knows his employee for many years.
I know it did not occur to him wether this was permissible within the Catholic Church or not, and meant no harm.So it does not qualify as a mortal sin.

 

[Mel_Stones]

Thinking about this, I did not have communion today, and plan to go to confession and see what my pastor suggests I do now.My husband is already the godfather and there is no going back.He took the responsibility and cherishes the baby.
What would be my part now,and the path to follow for me is what I need to find out as we face the future as a couple, with one of us having taken that job.I think my hubby just felt honored and went for it since he knows his employee for many years.
I know it did not occur to him wether this was permissible within the Catholic Church or not, and meant no harm.So it does not qualify as a mortal sin.

No mortal sin occurred but I’m glad to hear you’re going to talk to your pastor.
God bless.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Thinking about this, I did not have communion today, and plan to go to confession and see what my pastor suggests I do now.My husband is already the godfather and there is no going back.He took the responsibility and cherishes the baby.
What would be my part now,and the path to follow for me is what I need to find out as we face the future as a couple, with one of us having taken that job.I think my hubby just felt honored and went for it since he knows his employee for many years.
I know it did not occur to him wether this was permissible within the Catholic Church or not, and meant no harm.So it does not qualify as a mortal sin.

I don’t believe anyone said that it was sinful, but he should have realized that he was promising to help raise this child in a separated Christian tradition? That makes no sense. If you believe the Catholic Church is the One True Church founded by Christ, you cannot in good conscious help someone stay out of the Catholic Church. Technically you and your husbands obligation is to make sure the child eventually understands that the Catholic Faith is the true and complete faith, and encourage them when they are older to consider becoming Catholic.

 

[Tamsulosin]

I am very much Catholic and I know this is the true Church.
My husband accepted this responsability while asked at work.
I did not take in any responsibility myself or was asked what my thoughts were about the subject.
I was presented with an after the fact reality.
The thing is now, as it already happened at the ceremony, I have been drawn into a situation and I need to know how to proceed.I will ask my pastor.I am just the wife of the godfather.The baby’s father is Catholic,so I hope there will not be much problem. I did ask why not doing a Catholic Baptism.It was the inconvenience of having to take courses and having to do the ceremony at church, I was told the family said.
I replied that the courses are to ,among other things, learn about the meaning of the sacrament and about the responsibilities of the godparents and parents.
We bought her a gold crucifix with a chain.
There is a godmother as well whose religion I do not know.

 

[benedictgal]

I am very much Catholic and I know this is the true Church.
My husband accepted this responsability while asked at work.
I did not take in any responsibility myself or was asked what my thoughts were about the subject.
I was presented with an after the fact reality.
The thing is now, as it already happened at the ceremony, I have been drawn into a situation and I need to know how to proceed.I will ask my pastor.I am just the wife of the godfather.The baby’s father is Catholic,so I hope there will not be much problem. I did ask why not doing a Catholic Baptism.It was the inconvenience of having to take courses and having to do the ceremony at church, I was told the family said.I replied that the courses are to ,among other things, learn about the meaning of the sacrament and the obligation of the godparents and parents.

There are a lot of red flags here. If the father of the child is Catholic, he is bound by a promise to raise his child in the Church. That consent is part and parcel of the Rite of Marriage. Second, as a Catholic, your husband should not have agreed to be the godfather of the child. Catholics cannot act as godparents to children baptized outside of the Church. While they can be witnesses, the situation is made complicated because the child’s father willingly chose to have the baby baptized outside of the Church.

While others have already covered this issue, the fact that the father opted to choose the easy way out, as I call it, will cause confusion to the child in the future. The child will not be able to participate in the sacramental life of the Church because he is not Catholic.

I can understand that your husband is attached to the baby. It’s not the baby’s fault. However, now that the damage has been done, your husband, as a practicing Catholic, is obligated to do what he can to bring both the parent and the child into the True Faith. You can only give what you have, and, in your husband’s case, what he has is the Faith of the Church.

Were I in your situation, I would have declined the whole thing and have a talk with my husband about the gravity of what he was about to do. You found out after he had accepted. I realize that this is a sticky situation, but, a stronger statement should have been made. You also wound up caught up in the situation by participating in this ritual. As I see it, all parties relativized the whole thing, the father for opting to baptize his child outside of the Church and your husband to agreeing to do something that is contrary to what the Church teaches. I say relativized because, as I see it, it is as though the matter was treated as one where “one baptism is as good as another.”

It is good that you are discussing this matter with your pastor. I would also suggest that you and your husband read Dominus Iesus, the doctrinal statement written by the former Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger in his capacity as Prefect for the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith:

adoremus.org/910-00DomJesus.html

I hope this document will help clarify things.

 

[diggerdomer]

T If the father of the child is Catholic, he is bound by a promise to raise his child in the Church.

Just to make sure everyone is clear on what the Church requires in this respect, here is the applicable excerpt from Canon Law 1125:

1/ the Catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power so that all offspring are baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church;

2/ the other party is to be informed at an appropriate time about the promises which the Catholic party is to make, in such a way that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and obligation of the Catholic party;

3/ both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage which neither of the contracting parties is to exclude.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I am very much Catholic and I know this is the true Church.
My husband accepted this responsability while asked at work.
I did not take in any responsibility myself or was asked what my thoughts were about the subject.
I was presented with an after the fact reality.
The thing is now, as it already happened at the ceremony, I have been drawn into a situation and I need to know how to proceed.I will ask my pastor.I am just the wife of the godfather.The baby’s father is Catholic,so I hope there will not be much problem. I did ask why not doing a Catholic Baptism.It was the inconvenience of having to take courses and having to do the ceremony at church, I was told the family said.
I replied that the courses are to ,among other things, learn about the meaning of the sacrament and about the responsibilities of the godparents and parents.
We bought her a gold crucifix with a chain.
There is a godmother as well whose religion I do not know.

By all means speak with your pastor. In my opinion you are not obligated to “do” anything, you didn’t “sign-up” for anything. That is what I’m saying that since the child’s father is Catholic he can use your help raising his child leaning towards the Catholic Faith. Maybe his plan is First Holy Communion and Confirmation in the Catholic Church??? The inconvenience of having to take courses and participate in Marriage preparation is the reason many do not Marry in the Catholic Church, but do an “end-run”.

 

[FastLearner]

Just to make sure everyone is clear on what the Church requires in this respect, here is the applicable excerpt from Canon Law 1125:

Of course, that assumes that the husband entered into a mixed marriage. There are several cases when that might not be the case:

1. The husband and wife married outside of the Catholic Church
2. The husband and wife married as two Catholics and the wife converted
3. The husband and wife were both protestant and the husband converted to Catholicism.

That doesn’t mean the husband is excused from not raising his child Catholic and that there are not other grave issues involved (especially re: #1)…

 

[diggerdomer]

Of course, that assumes that the husband entered into a mixed marriage. There are several cases when that might not be the case:

1. The husband and wife married outside of the Catholic Church
2. The husband and wife married as two Catholics and the wife converted
3. The husband and wife were both protestant and the husband converted to Catholicism.

That doesn’t mean the husband is excused from not raising his child Catholic and that there are not other grave issues involved (especially re: #1)…

Right. Good point(s). I was simply clarifying the statement that “If the father of the child is Catholic, he is bound by a promise to raise his child in the Church” in the sense that it’s more nuanced than being bound by a promise to raise his child in the Church.

 

[FastLearner]

Right. Good point(s). I was simply clarifying the statement that “If the father of the child is Catholic, he is bound by a promise to raise his child in the Church” in the sense that it’s more nuanced than being bound by a promise to raise his child in the Church.

My pause is that it’s more complicated than that. There was a case posted on this site where the husband converted but not his wife or older children, and he wanted to know what was he required to do vs. should he do with regards to the salvation of his wife and children. There was another case where a couple was in a mixed marriage and the wife threatened divorce if the husband sent the child to CCD. And still another case where a mixed marriage went through a divorce and the husband starting taking the kids to a non-Catholic service and the wife wanted to know if this broke her promise to the Church.

I guess my point is that he can be more complicated than “if you are Catholic, you must…” so giving advice (such as what the father of this particular baby is required to do) without knowing the specific circumstances and situation can be a little problematic.

 

[Tamsulosin]

I finally went to talk with a priest about this matter.He said I was OK.
I was rather surprised to hear that (not an exact quote)different peoples have different ways, but as long as it is the same God they are worshipping it is ok.
God made us all different, so it is understandable that we have different liturgies.

 

[Cider]

Bizarre but I shouldn’t be surprised. More and more the traditional role of god parent is ignored.

You can’t help guide a child in their faith life if you do not share the same faith. Methodist and Catholics don’t believe the same thing and there is no indication that this child was baptized Catholic and will be raised as a Catholic.

 

[diggerdomer]

Bizarre but I shouldn’t be surprised. More and more the traditional role of god parent is ignored.

You can’t help guide a child in their faith life if you do not share the same faith. Methodist and Catholics don’t believe the same thing and there is no indication that this child was baptized Catholic and will be raised as a Catholic.

Methodists and Catholics have more in common regarding beliefs than they do what separates. them.