N
Neophyte_Rose
Guest
I recieved all three Sacraments of Initiation this past Easter. As you can guess, it was a pretty special time for me. At first, when I asked, none of my family was going to be there. My father had a sports competition, my grandparents were opposed to my decision to become Catholic, and my mother was hedging all around her answer with "maybe"s.
I managed to convince her how important it was to me, I guess, because she was there at the Vigil with the oldest of my younger sisters (oh, how glad I was that B. was there - I pray she’ll remember forever just how happy I was, and want that for herself when she’s old enough to decide on her own about her faith).
I was, by the way, in ecstasy that whole night… from the moment that water touched me, I felt like… I spent 19 years of agony searching for this, longing for God, praying, abstaining, wandering from community to community, and now… here He was, right there, all around me, assuring me that I had always and would always belong to Him… and it was worth it, that one evening of bliss, His love, it was worth all of the seeking and asking and door-knocking I had to do…
And when I recieved my First Communion - wow! I mean, I had been afraid before, afraid that I wouldn’t be able to believe in the Real Presence of Christ despite my decision that I would believe all the Church did… and then, I just knew… I knew, without any doubt, that it was true. and then I was so eager that I was afraid of my own enthusiasm…
to finally, after all of that, recieve our prescious Lord in the Eucharist… I was aware of nothing else but Him. He was completely with me, in me, filling me, loving me like I had never known love before… I felt as safe as a baby in the womb ought to feel, like I was wrapped in an impenetrable love and warmth…
Nothing in my life ever could, nor will anything ever, compare with the Easter Vigil when I was recieved into the Church. Perhaps, in Heaven, that happiness is what we will feel all the time. I certainly couldn’t imagine a better way to spend eternity, than in communion like that. in worship of Him who is, for me, everything that matters.
after Mass, my mother was crying and walking home. I ran to catch up with her, to tell her we could get her a ride home - she shouldn’t have to walk, with a nine-year old, tired little girl, by herself… she was saying “finally, you’re saved… like we were praying for in my church” (she’s Baptist - her minister put me off Christianity completely for quite a while after he told me that if I didn’t accept God and convert right at that moment, I would never be forgiven… he was a little… overzealous…)
I was like, “umm… I’m glad you’re happy, mom, but we can get you a ride, you know…”
and then she said, “I know I wasn’t supposed to. but I recieved communion anyways. I wanted to. and they didn’t stop me. are you mad at me?”
I had explained to her beforehand about how she could get a blessing if she wanted to… and she had understood, I mean, it was a pretty clear message…
I wasn’t mad at her, really. I was concerned… but I didn’t know what to say, so I just said we could talk about it later if she wanted, but that I wanted to get her home and maybe it would be best if she didn’t bring it up with everyone…
it kind’ve put a damper on the night, but Fr. told me not to get stressed about it, that Jesus can take care of Himself and that all I could do anyways was to pray for her conversion…
what would you have done? would you have talked to her about it later? tried to explain to her, maybe? or is it not a big enough deal to create another family feud over? I mean, what if I want to get married one day, and I want my mother there? I won’t know if I really want to invite her to come and disrespect my beliefs like that all over again… should I just let it go and not worry?
in Christ forever,
Esther Rose
edited for formating… automatically used instead of
I managed to convince her how important it was to me, I guess, because she was there at the Vigil with the oldest of my younger sisters (oh, how glad I was that B. was there - I pray she’ll remember forever just how happy I was, and want that for herself when she’s old enough to decide on her own about her faith).
I was, by the way, in ecstasy that whole night… from the moment that water touched me, I felt like… I spent 19 years of agony searching for this, longing for God, praying, abstaining, wandering from community to community, and now… here He was, right there, all around me, assuring me that I had always and would always belong to Him… and it was worth it, that one evening of bliss, His love, it was worth all of the seeking and asking and door-knocking I had to do…
And when I recieved my First Communion - wow! I mean, I had been afraid before, afraid that I wouldn’t be able to believe in the Real Presence of Christ despite my decision that I would believe all the Church did… and then, I just knew… I knew, without any doubt, that it was true. and then I was so eager that I was afraid of my own enthusiasm…
to finally, after all of that, recieve our prescious Lord in the Eucharist… I was aware of nothing else but Him. He was completely with me, in me, filling me, loving me like I had never known love before… I felt as safe as a baby in the womb ought to feel, like I was wrapped in an impenetrable love and warmth…
Nothing in my life ever could, nor will anything ever, compare with the Easter Vigil when I was recieved into the Church. Perhaps, in Heaven, that happiness is what we will feel all the time. I certainly couldn’t imagine a better way to spend eternity, than in communion like that. in worship of Him who is, for me, everything that matters.
after Mass, my mother was crying and walking home. I ran to catch up with her, to tell her we could get her a ride home - she shouldn’t have to walk, with a nine-year old, tired little girl, by herself… she was saying “finally, you’re saved… like we were praying for in my church” (she’s Baptist - her minister put me off Christianity completely for quite a while after he told me that if I didn’t accept God and convert right at that moment, I would never be forgiven… he was a little… overzealous…)
I was like, “umm… I’m glad you’re happy, mom, but we can get you a ride, you know…”
and then she said, “I know I wasn’t supposed to. but I recieved communion anyways. I wanted to. and they didn’t stop me. are you mad at me?”
I had explained to her beforehand about how she could get a blessing if she wanted to… and she had understood, I mean, it was a pretty clear message…
I wasn’t mad at her, really. I was concerned… but I didn’t know what to say, so I just said we could talk about it later if she wanted, but that I wanted to get her home and maybe it would be best if she didn’t bring it up with everyone…
it kind’ve put a damper on the night, but Fr. told me not to get stressed about it, that Jesus can take care of Himself and that all I could do anyways was to pray for her conversion…
what would you have done? would you have talked to her about it later? tried to explain to her, maybe? or is it not a big enough deal to create another family feud over? I mean, what if I want to get married one day, and I want my mother there? I won’t know if I really want to invite her to come and disrespect my beliefs like that all over again… should I just let it go and not worry?
in Christ forever,
Esther Rose
edited for formating… automatically used instead of
:rolleyes: ...
)… rereading your post, I’m not sure if you did… If you haven’t, I think you should. If you have, well, don’t worry about it. It’s in God’s hands now.
i thought my stomach was going to drop as soon as I saw it. I felt so bad that some how i had disresepected Jesus. Well I explained to him that he couldn’t receieve and why and at the next mass he didn’t. He may not have been receieved into someone who recogonized him but Jesus still works his saving grace. Last week this young man sent us an email saying that he is starting RCIA classes. 
YEA!!! I guess Jesus really does know how to take care of himself.