A
anilorak13ska
Guest
What is a good way to approach strengthening one’s mother’s faith? I was raised a cultural Catholic. My mother considers having given me the sacraments of baptism and preparation for 1st communion and attending Sunday Mass all my life as having “done her job” in the religious education arena. She of course taught me right from wrong, although some of those lessons I now see aren’t really based on our faith but rather our culture (we’re Polish). We never prayed together, and when I became a young adult and my interest in religious matters grew and I started wanting to talk with her, she begrudgingly humored me for a while and then asked if we could talk about something else. She jokes about my opening my own church, and implies that I am somehow already holier than most and therefore have no reason to worry about deepening my faith or working on my character.
I understand that she means well, wants me to have a good self-concept, and is proud of me for those things that I have done well. But in my proddings, I’ve found that she is Catholic in name only. Her beliefs are very eclectic, based largely on superstitions or romanticized legends. She has some of the same basic questions and problems with Christianity that many people do - how could a loving Father sacrifice His Son and why would a death sacrifice even be required?
I grew up with this tone, which has shaped my own beliefs. Only now as an adult am I starting to learn about Catholicism from a Christian perspective, and I am striving to grow closer to God.
In the process, I would like to help my mom grow closer to God as well. She has had some tough things to overcome in her life (she has been caring for my brain-injured father for over 10 years), and she has absolutely no peer support whatsoever. Our family is in Poland, my siblings have moved out, and I’m the closest in distance and otherwise. I find myself fulfilling the role of friend at times, which is most uncomfortable, because I cannot properly respect her as my mother and talk to her in the way she needs to hear from a well-meaning friend.
She frowns on outward signs of devotion, or open discussion of faith. She’s told me that she believes that God is distant and not really involved in our lives. She does the best she can, attends Mass essentially as her only religious obligation, has stayed married to my father when others might have saught a divorce, and is very isolated thanks to the combination of her shy personality, self-consiousness about her English, and nonexistant peer relationships. I’m not worried about her salvation, but I do think she isn’t getting the full benefits of a relationship with God.
I was able to help her see the story of the prodigal son in a positive light finally, because for years she felt it was wrong for the father to welcome the prodigal and ignore the hard work of the son who stayed all along. It wasn’t until I drew a comparison between her and my siblings that she accepted that welcoming the prodigal with open arms doesn’t take away from the other son.
I feel uncomfortable saying even silent grace when with her, because she feels that thanking God for food that she worked hard to buy, prepare, and serve is being ungrateful to her. I tried to tell her that grace should also include those who labored for our benefit, but that conversation is still in the back of my mind.
Should I even be meddling with her if she is showing no interest in growing her faith?
I understand that she means well, wants me to have a good self-concept, and is proud of me for those things that I have done well. But in my proddings, I’ve found that she is Catholic in name only. Her beliefs are very eclectic, based largely on superstitions or romanticized legends. She has some of the same basic questions and problems with Christianity that many people do - how could a loving Father sacrifice His Son and why would a death sacrifice even be required?
I grew up with this tone, which has shaped my own beliefs. Only now as an adult am I starting to learn about Catholicism from a Christian perspective, and I am striving to grow closer to God.
In the process, I would like to help my mom grow closer to God as well. She has had some tough things to overcome in her life (she has been caring for my brain-injured father for over 10 years), and she has absolutely no peer support whatsoever. Our family is in Poland, my siblings have moved out, and I’m the closest in distance and otherwise. I find myself fulfilling the role of friend at times, which is most uncomfortable, because I cannot properly respect her as my mother and talk to her in the way she needs to hear from a well-meaning friend.
She frowns on outward signs of devotion, or open discussion of faith. She’s told me that she believes that God is distant and not really involved in our lives. She does the best she can, attends Mass essentially as her only religious obligation, has stayed married to my father when others might have saught a divorce, and is very isolated thanks to the combination of her shy personality, self-consiousness about her English, and nonexistant peer relationships. I’m not worried about her salvation, but I do think she isn’t getting the full benefits of a relationship with God.
I was able to help her see the story of the prodigal son in a positive light finally, because for years she felt it was wrong for the father to welcome the prodigal and ignore the hard work of the son who stayed all along. It wasn’t until I drew a comparison between her and my siblings that she accepted that welcoming the prodigal with open arms doesn’t take away from the other son.
I feel uncomfortable saying even silent grace when with her, because she feels that thanking God for food that she worked hard to buy, prepare, and serve is being ungrateful to her. I tried to tell her that grace should also include those who labored for our benefit, but that conversation is still in the back of my mind.
Should I even be meddling with her if she is showing no interest in growing her faith?