Should I reply to a priest who I felt was too quick to judge?

[jkimis]

I found that I was curious about spiritual direction in helping me with my faith and my struggles so a friend set up a meeting. I met with the priest but felt uncomfortable as I felt the mood was judgmental. He asked about my family history and personal history, and I was not at ease as I had just met the priest. I wanted to ensure confidentiality and he was frustrated that I would mention such a thing.

We met for an hour and out of courtesy I thanked him via emil for meeting me. I had told him that I have had a lot of deep struggles in my life and wanted to learn to forgive and move forward. He sent me an email that said a number of things that I felt were judgmental and accused me of things that were incorrect. He also put his own unresolved issues in there, which was not good.

Should I respond to such a priest? And tell him that I feel that he is out of line? Or should i just ignore it and not reply? I was angry about the whole thing but will not let such a person get me upset. If anything, I have learned that what I’ve been doing is good and that I’m on the right path. Should I just let this go?

Your (name removed by moderator)ut is appreciated.

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

Not knowing any specifics about what was said, I have no way to judge whether the priest was out of line in his email or whether perhaps you were too sensitive. One red flag though was the priest’s negative reaction to your question about confidentiality. Your question, assuming it was phrased politely, was not inappropriate, and the priest should have explained to you what is covered by the seal of confession and what is covered by ordinary rules of confidentiality.

If you feel that there is nothing constructive to be gained from pursuing this, you may indeed want to just let it go and chalk it up to not having found a good fit for a spiritual director in this particular priest. But if there is something constructive to be done (e.g., notifying a superior about the priest’s need for more formation in spiritual direction), you may want to discuss the matter with another priest experienced in spiritual direction and have him review the email you received. He would be in a better position than I to determine if there is genuine cause to be concerned about this particular priest’s spiritual “bedside manner.”