Should I say something to my Professor?

[isu]

Hello everyone, I hope this is in the correct location.

I have been debating with myself on what to do for a while now…

My current Professor is Baptist, (he said so during class during one of his jokes) which is fine. The problem is that most of his jokes involve porn. Nothing graphic just stuff about an incident with his internet and suddenly porn showed up on the cable tv while the tech was trying to fix it. Etc. I use to be into that stuff so I laughed along with the rest of the class. I know I shouldn’t have and I regret it each time. I worry here because my behavior helps to reinforce that these things are okay.

Now just yesterday he was talking about an incident that happened at a singles club and a women he tried to ask out that happened to have her girlfriend at the singles club. He couldn’t believe it. Then he said on a side note “power to them”

He is a fantastic teacher when it comes to technology and a very good critical thinker in this field…because of him I have decided to work on creating some programs on the side…so please don’t think I have anything against him. I only feel that he is misguided.

So my question is…
Should I send an E-mail to him and tell him charitably that he is not presenting Christianity in the way Jesus taught?

Or should I keep quiet since it is a professional setting and he is also a recruiter? He even found an opening for me for a Help Desk position. Please pray that God’s will be done.

Or should I stay quiet because I failed Jesus by laughing at his porn jokes?

I’m pretty sure this whole thing was a test and I feel like I failed somewhere but my ego is not letting me see where.

Your opinions on this matter will be most helpful.

 

[John_Martin]

You will find this happening over and over again in your life, not just in relation to jokes about sexuality, but in things like gossip about co-workers or bosses or anyone, and in things like politics (disparaging remarks and stories about others political stance or affiliation), and in things like “spouse jokes” where people build themselves up in your sight by defaming the intelligence or capabilities of their spouse.

There are many ways of combating it, from a blank stare (rather than giggling or laughing), to rolling your eyes if you want to be obvious, to turning and walking away without a word while they are about to reach their “punch-line”, to asking an “innocent question” (it must show naiveté) like “why don’t you just tell your boss that you are upset with your raise?”. With your professor’s comments in class, perhaps the most you can do is “look out the window in boredom” (if the classroom has windows) until he finishes, then a blank stare at him and at the ones laughing. If they ever ask you why, you have a chance to say, “I am Catholic, that’s why”. We are in the world as Catholics, not of the world, and our actions are not the same, we act in reference to these comments, we do not react.

 

[isu]

We are in the world as Catholics, not of the world, and our actions are not the same, we act in reference to these comments, we do not react.

Thank you very much for your response, John. I will definitely do my best in remembering your advice for the next time it happens. I really need to work harder on not trying to fit in but just follow God.

On a side note: I hope being a female doesn’t cause them to think, “that’s women for ya” and completely ignore something that may help them be closer to Jesus.

 

[Book_Worm]

Are you in a position of authority over your professor? If not, it would be highly inappropriate for you to chastise or correct him. If the joke is explicit and offensive, it might fall into the category of sexual harassment and a warning that it is might be in order, especially from a female student, but from your description those comments don’t fall into that category.

While on “girls’ vacation” with two of my friends, we ordered what we thought was a popular, family-friendly movie. It turned out to be porn. Our surprise and attempts to get it turned off made a funny story after our trip. I would have been very surprised if anyone found it offensive or in any way approving of pornography. It seems that your professor’ stories are of a similar nature.

 

[John_Martin]

Thank you very much for your response, John. I will definitely do my best in remembering your advice for the next time it happens. I really need to work harder on not trying to fit in but just follow God.

On a side note: I hope being a female doesn’t cause them to think, “that’s women for ya” and completely ignore something that may help them be closer to Jesus.

You’re welcome, and you give a nice bit of advice yourself, or phrasing it in a way that is easy to remember : “work on not trying to fit in but work on following God”.

Oh, and I know women at work who do not join the joking or gossip, and they are the women you enjoy working with because you can get real work done and your conversation is about things that matter. I think “real” people will recognize that in you also.

 

[thankulord]

I have a different opinion. I am a professor. I would go to speak to your professor in his office. First I would thank him for his help and teaching, mentioning the specific items that you appreciate about him as your professor, and also how he makes an effort to bring humor via his real life stories into the classroom, however when the real life stories are offensive to Christian beliefs…or just good moral sense…em… I think you will be able to have a heart to heart talk with your professor. In the end whatever his response is thank him for listening to you and your concern. I would also pray before going to talk to him and after too.

If you don’t speak to him, who will? He will reflect on your conversation no matter what he decides to do in the future and you will know that you have done your best to address this issue.

 

[TxGodfollower]

Maybe you could type a note about how his conduct makes you uncomfortable and slid it under his office door. That way you can remain discreet and anonymous.

 

[boomerang]

Hello isu. It’s not clear from your story - is your professor teaching a religion class as an official “Baptist Professor” or “Christian Professor”, or is this a secular class, like math? If he’s teaching religion as an (official) Baptist, then I suppose it would be charitable to warn him on his deportment. But if he’s teaching English or basket-weaving, I would say let it slide unless it’s extremely offensive or inappropriate.

 

[isu]

Hello isu. It’s not clear from your story - is your professor teaching a religion class as an official “Baptist Professor” or “Christian Professor”, or is this a secular class, like math? If he’s teaching religion as an (official) Baptist, then I suppose it would be charitable to warn him on his deportment. But if he’s teaching English or basket-weaving, I would say let it slide unless it’s extremely offensive or inappropriate.

I apologize for the confusion. It is a secular class.

 

[isu]

I have a different opinion. I am a professor. I would go to speak to your professor in his office. First I would thank him for his help and teaching, mentioning the specific items that you appreciate about him as your professor, and also how he makes an effort to bring humor via his real life stories into the classroom, however when the real life stories are offensive to Christian beliefs…or just good moral sense…em… I think you will be able to have a heart to heart talk with your professor. In the end whatever his response is thank him for listening to you and your concern. I would also pray before going to talk to him and after too.

If you don’t speak to him, who will? He will reflect on your conversation no matter what he decides to do in the future and you will know that you have done your best to address this issue.

Thank you for your opinion. You do bring up a good point. I will take yours and John’s advice into consideration before deciding on what to do.

 

[isu]

Are you in a position of authority over your professor? If not, it would be highly inappropriate for you to chastise or correct him. If the joke is explicit and offensive, it might fall into the category of sexual harassment and a warning that it is might be in order, especially from a female student, but from your description those comments don’t fall into that category.

While on “girls’ vacation” with two of my friends, we ordered what we thought was a popular, family-friendly movie. It turned out to be porn. Our surprise and attempts to get it turned off made a funny story after our trip. I would have been very surprised if anyone found it offensive or in any way approving of pornography. It seems that your professor’ stories are of a similar nature.

Unfortunately I wish, overall, that it was just an “oops” thing, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this post to begin with. I know the joke I listed does sound like that but it was the most recent and the only one I could remember. After reading your post I do remember some joke that spoke about hiding it from his potential girlfriends or something like that. I apologize for the confusion. I have no intention of speaking to him as though I was his boss or be rude about it…just as a friend trying to help a friend. Like Jesus says to help each other realize our faults. (unless I’m mistaken) I know I have a hard time realizing what I do wrong due to ego. So I thought of speaking to him in more of a…“Are you aware of…” I didn’t even have plans to throw verses from the Bible at him.

Thank you for your advice, though. I will keep it in mind.

 

[captainrick]

Unfortunately I wish, overall, that it was just an “oops” thing, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this post to begin with. I know the joke I listed does sound like that but it was the most recent and the only one I could remember. After reading your post I do remember some joke that spoke about hiding it from his potential girlfriends or something like that. I apologize for the confusion. I have no intention of speaking to him as though I was his boss or be rude about it…just as a friend trying to help a friend. Like Jesus says to help each other realize our faults. (unless I’m mistaken) I know I have a hard time realizing what I do wrong due to ego. So I thought of speaking to him in more of a…“Are you aware of…” I didn’t even have plans to throw verses from the Bible at him.

Thank you for your advice, though. I will keep it in mind.

The jokes don’t sound too bad - just very slightly inappropriate. Nothing I would bring to his attention.