Should I say something?

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colbyswife

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What do you do when you KNOW for certain that family members are gossiping about you behind your back and that what they are saying is NOT true? Do you confront them, or just leave it alone? And how do you leave it alone?
 
I always say, “If you don’t have anything better to do than to talk about me, you go right ahead!” 😉

I don’t mean to make light, as I’m sure whatever they’re saying hurts your feelings. Gossip tends to get worse the more talking people do -including you. It’s like an out of control game of telephone…ya know the game? It’s where you sit in a circle, let’s say, and someone starts the game off by whispering a short story in the ear of the person next to them. The story is supposed to make it’s way around the circle as it was originally told, but it never does. The more people involved in the game, the more distorted the original story becomes.

I honestly don’t think people do it maliciously b/c I don’t think many people even stop to think how hurtful it can be. We all have a tendancy to get caught up in other people’s affairs, and then next thing you know, we’re hanging out w/a mutual friend or family memeber and before you know it, the discussion leads into a back n’ forth about a person you both know. Some would argue that’s not really gossiping. Some people define gossip as a deliberate spreading of things they know are untrue.

I’ve always held the standard for myself that if I wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, then I wouldn’t say it to anyone else. I’ll admit, I’m not always successful at living up to that standard, but my intentions are good. :o

Honestly, as hard as it may be, I’d ignore it. I’d pretend you have no idea. To seek out those you suspect are gossiping is like taking responsibility for their poor behavior. It’s not your fault they’re gossiping. Something else to keep in the back of your mind as well is - unless you overhead people *yourself *talking about you, then you really don’t know for sure if they’re gossiping about you. If you approach someone based on what someone else told you (even if the person is trustworthy and close to you), you’ll just be adding to the confusion of the situation. Even the most well-intentioned friends- spouse- or family member can get their wires crossed; and in thinking they’re defending you or protecting you against the gossip by telling you about it, they’re really only contributing to it.

Pray for those who hurt you - it’s the only way to keep peace in your heart. :console:
 
I’ve found the best way to handle it is to ignore it. I’ve even had other family members tell me so and so is talking about you and I just act uninterested.
 
Spend time reading 1 Cor chapter 13. Read how real love is not easily provoked and does not bear a grudge.

Remember how Christ kept his mouth shut when his accusers said all manner of evil against him.

Pray and love.
 
I would confront them, bring it out to the open, then try to move on. All easier said then done though.

Also, on a related note, it’s easy to quote bible verses about love and beauty when we’re not the ones mad at someone. Don’t beat yourself up for hours if your not always in a loving and forgiving mood.
 
I’ve found the best way to handle it is to ignore it. I’ve even had other family members tell me so and so is talking about you and I just act uninterested.
Good advice. Women have trouble doing this 😛
 
*Depends on what they are saying…if it’s hurtful, malicious gossip that could hurt someone else (their lies)…I would probably say ‘something,’ so no on gets innocently hurt. I hate gossip…:mad:

In the movie Doubt, the main character, a priest…tells a nun who suspects him of wrongdoing, about gossip. He says…‘Gossip is like a pillow’s feathers flying everywhere, you can’t ever get them back.’ (it was portrayed differently, I’m paraphrasing here, but that is so poignant!) *
 
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