J
jcrews2010
Guest
Greetings,
My question is this: If the abuser claims repentance for past abusive acts (spouse rape, emotional abuse) within the marriage, is the victim recommended to consider reconciling or attending something like retrouvaille or couples counseling (individual counseling for victim is already occurring) before divorce?
Some background:
1.) Married because they were pregnant (abuser Catholic, victim unbaptized–now convert)
2.) After birth of child, abuser developed (expressed) dependance on alcohol
3.) Abuse of alcohol led to near-nightly forced or coerced sexual acts (“but you’re my spouse”)
4.) Second pregnancy occurred
5.) Statements like “I could sell this child, maybe someone would give $10 for them”
6.) Abuser has family history of DV (father abused mother, abuser abused sister–mother covered up for abuser)
7.) Victim has past history of rape / sexual abuse as young adult
8.) Victim has also been emotionally unfaithful to spouse after alcohol became problem.
In this scenario the abuser claims to have had no awareness that their behaviors were wrong or uncalled for. It is likely because of the education and parentage that the abuser came through (no school past 12 or 13 years of age), both parents absent, no positive role-models.
Abuser expresses some level of repentance, but victim is unsure or whether to hear them out / offer chance to repair union.
Thank you in advance for your answer or referral to similar posts
My question is this: If the abuser claims repentance for past abusive acts (spouse rape, emotional abuse) within the marriage, is the victim recommended to consider reconciling or attending something like retrouvaille or couples counseling (individual counseling for victim is already occurring) before divorce?
Some background:
1.) Married because they were pregnant (abuser Catholic, victim unbaptized–now convert)
2.) After birth of child, abuser developed (expressed) dependance on alcohol
3.) Abuse of alcohol led to near-nightly forced or coerced sexual acts (“but you’re my spouse”)
4.) Second pregnancy occurred
5.) Statements like “I could sell this child, maybe someone would give $10 for them”
6.) Abuser has family history of DV (father abused mother, abuser abused sister–mother covered up for abuser)
7.) Victim has past history of rape / sexual abuse as young adult
8.) Victim has also been emotionally unfaithful to spouse after alcohol became problem.
In this scenario the abuser claims to have had no awareness that their behaviors were wrong or uncalled for. It is likely because of the education and parentage that the abuser came through (no school past 12 or 13 years of age), both parents absent, no positive role-models.
Abuser expresses some level of repentance, but victim is unsure or whether to hear them out / offer chance to repair union.
Thank you in advance for your answer or referral to similar posts