Should we be involved in my sister's wedding

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Catholicgauze

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My sister just recently got engaged. I’m happy for her but I am wondering what my wife and I should do.

My sister was baptized Catholic but converted to Presbyterianism because “they were nice” to her. She doesn’t believe in Calvinism and I doubt she knows much if anything about it. It was more a move for her to be closer to our mother (who is Presbyterian). To top everything off my sister’s fiancee is an atheist. Finally, while there are no set plans, my sister wants to get married in a Presbyterian church.

What should my wife do if she is asked to be a bridesmaid? What should we do if we are invited (my sister came to our wedding)? Any help is more than grateful.
 
This could be a great opportunity for re-evangelization. Certainly you and your wife can attend the wedding - I don’t think there’s anything wrong (as in, possibly causing scandal) in that. However, if you or your wife are asked to be a part of wedding party, perhaps you can politely decline and explain that you obviously aren’t happy with her getting married outside the Church, etc. etc. Of course, do it with charity.

A similar thing happened to a friend of mine - a seminarian, no less - whose sister had not been practicing the Catholic faith and was going to marry outside the Church. He was asked to be the best man (!); he declined and very charitably and pastorally explained why he couldn’t do that. He explained that, while he would be happy to attend the wedding, he could not in good conscience be a member of the wedding party, thereby giving the impression that he had no problem with his sister getting married outside the Church. Evidently he did a pretty good job explaining his dilemma and the Church’s teachings, since his sister returned to the faith, the groom was received into the Church, and my friend got to be the best man after all! 👍
 
Catholicgauze said:
My sister just recently got engaged. I’m happy for her but I am wondering what my wife and I should do.

My sister was baptized Catholic but converted to Presbyterianism because “they were nice” to her. She doesn’t believe in Calvinism and I doubt she knows much if anything about it. It was more a move for her to be closer to our mother (who is Presbyterian). To top everything off my sister’s fiancee is an atheist. Finally, while there are no set plans, my sister wants to get married in a Presbyterian church.

What should my wife do if she is asked to be a bridesmaid? What should we do if we are invited (my sister came to our wedding)? Any help is more than grateful.
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I think you should go to her wedding. Be polite and curteous to your sister and her new husband.

Your sister is an adult and her choices are her own.
 
freethinker83 said:
I think you should go to her wedding. Be polite and curteous to your sister and her new husband.

Your sister is an adult and her choices are her own.
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I emphasize the past poster’s comment here for an important point.

Just because we are adults doesn’t justify bad behavior. In fact, being an adult, surrounded by others, obligates us to be considerate in society for our overall welfare. We see such transgressions every day and I can use a very non-religious example to illustrate.

The posted speed limit is 55 on a highway. Many adults will choose to drive 10 MPH faster or more.

Is this their choice? Yes.

Is it still against the law and therefore wrong? Yes.

Can this behavior be dangerous to themselves? Yes.

Can their bad choice (literally) impact others around them?

Yes.

I agree that you should go to their wedding and politely decline any honorary participation. But, as others have said, charitably avoid a laisse-faire attitude about their decision to marry outside of the Church and speak up when appropriate if an opportunity arises to help your friend understand her faith a little better.
 
I agree with some of the posts below. Great time to re-evanglize, and the metaphor of her marriage is perfect for the following consideration about the church and how presbyterians came to be - and may even assist her atheist husband to lean toward the tiber - good luck, deo gratias !
If the church is the bride of Christ and the church is sick, is a sick bride discarded for another?

Do we stand by our bride and help her heal or divorce her because she is sick, or too old?

Was it right for Martin Luther to divorce the church for another bride, or should he have
stayed, committing himself to healing Christ’s bride?

Once this act was made, others felt compelled to follow; England’s King Henry the 8th, being denied the request to divorce his wife by the church, divorced his wife and the church; he took on two new brides, another woman and established another church. Thousands of churches have been established ever since, none agreeing on the interpretation of the Holy Bible.

Christ’s bride, the church, is pure, it’s the selfish, self-serving, misguided sins of some men and women in the church who sometimes lead the church astray.

The church body is as good as the men and women who serve Christ’s bride.

The traditional wedding vow we take, “I take you to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”
 
Catholicgauze said:
My sister just recently got engaged. I’m happy for her but I am wondering what my wife and I should do.

My sister was baptized Catholic but converted to Presbyterianism because “they were nice” to her. She doesn’t believe in Calvinism and I doubt she knows much if anything about it. It was more a move for her to be closer to our mother (who is Presbyterian). To top everything off my sister’s fiancee is an atheist. Finally, while there are no set plans, my sister wants to get married in a Presbyterian church.

What should my wife do if she is asked to be a bridesmaid? What should we do if we are invited (my sister came to our wedding)? Any help is more than grateful.
Click to expand...
i think you should go…shes your sister and if you didnt it may create a rift between you…privately pay a priest in your parish to offer up a mass for your sister and her soon to be husband conversion…pray for this too
 
Catholicgauze said:
My sister just recently got engaged. I’m happy for her but I am wondering what my wife and I should do.

My sister was baptized Catholic but converted to Presbyterianism because “they were nice” to her. She doesn’t believe in Calvinism and I doubt she knows much if anything about it. It was more a move for her to be closer to our mother (who is Presbyterian). To top everything off my sister’s fiancee is an atheist. Finally, while there are no set plans, my sister wants to get married in a Presbyterian church.

What should my wife do if she is asked to be a bridesmaid? What should we do if we are invited (my sister came to our wedding)? Any help is more than grateful.
Click to expand...
From 1983 through Dec 21 2010, but not now, a baptised Catholic could formally defect and not be bound to the Catholic form of marriage. So even if she formally defected now, there will be no matrimony, in a Presbyterian church to an athiest, without a dispensation from the Catholic form of marriage to be married in the Presbyterian Church, and also a dispensation for disparity of cult to marry an athiest.

If she proceeds without the Catholic Church then it is a scandalous attempt at marriage, and it is scandalous for a Catholic to particpate, as it is condoning it. It gives a very bad example to children in particular.
 
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