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jawgee
Guest
YES… have #2… and #3… but I still say #4 is the best!..
I’m withholding judgement on #5 only because we have no experience… yet… who knows what’s in our future.
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Em_in_FL
Guest
We have 4 kids… 3 bedrooms, 1 full bath (our master bath has been gutted for over a decade because we can’t afford to have it redone) and 1 half bath.
You’ve already got us beat!
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kristacecilia
Guest
Ditto us! Well. We have four bedrooms and two baths but only three bedrooms and one bath that are currently usable. Our usable living space is 1050 sq feet.We have 4 kids… 3 bedrooms, 1 full bath (our master bath has been gutted for over a decade because we can’t afford to have it redone) and 1 half bath.
You’ve already got us beat!
And we are just about to have kid #5, who no doubt will oust kid #4 from being the best!
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Em_in_FL
Guest
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
4 bedrooms! Then you can have at least 3 more kids! (two can double up if you have the same gender).
Go for it! You will NEVER regret the kids you have, it’s the ones you DON’T have that you regret.
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28562
Guest
This is true…it is sometimes difficult financially and sanity-wise, but I would never try to take one of them back for a refund.
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thewanderer
Guest
I’m just gonna throw in my :twocents:
I grew up with 6 siblings and I can’t imagine growing up without any!! As others have said, siblings are an amazing blessing to have as you grow up!!!
Oh, and might I add that we only ever had 4 bedrooms for all of us! It really isn’t true that each child needs their own room. A lot of what people assume is needed really isn’t. All that is needed is loving care from the parents.
I grew up with 6 siblings and I can’t imagine growing up without any!! As others have said, siblings are an amazing blessing to have as you grow up!!!
Oh, and might I add that we only ever had 4 bedrooms for all of us! It really isn’t true that each child needs their own room. A lot of what people assume is needed really isn’t. All that is needed is loving care from the parents.
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happymommy
Guest
4 bedrooms! Fill them up
bunkbeds are great things!
bunkbeds are great things!
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MomaMary8
Guest
No way! you can have at least 9 more!! We have 4 bedrooms, 2 full baths and 10 kids.4 bedrooms! Then you can have at least 3 more kids! (two can double up if you have the same gender).
Go for it! You will NEVER regret the kids you have, it’s the ones you DON’T have that you regret.
OP: you know the right answer in your heart. You know you’d give up any possession for your precious girl. It will be the same for your next little one. Put your faith in God and he will help you with the future, and if God blesses you with a child that needs (and gives!) more love and attention, God will show you how to love him.
Blessings to you and your wife as you follow God’s will in your family!
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RedSoxWife
Guest
I’d say go for it!
I was raised, basically, as an only child. I had a half sister that left home before I was in school, but I was basically on my own and I tend to think of myself as an only child. And I spent pretty much my whole childhood desperately wishing I had a brother or sister that was actually around (and somewhere near my age!).
We live in a two bedroom on campus with our three year old and 1 year old and are expecting our third. If you’d told me five years ago I’d be on bed rest at 11 weeks pregnant, taking care of a 3 year old and a 1 year old by myself while my husband is in school all day long (law school with finals coming up! Although he’s really trying to help out, the class load means he’s gone a lot!) I would have said that I couldn’t do it. But as we make it through day by day I’m realizing more and more that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.
And as my three year old talks non stop about the new baby, and loves her little sister (it’s mutual! They’re inseparable!) I can’t imagine it any other way!
I was raised, basically, as an only child. I had a half sister that left home before I was in school, but I was basically on my own and I tend to think of myself as an only child. And I spent pretty much my whole childhood desperately wishing I had a brother or sister that was actually around (and somewhere near my age!).
We live in a two bedroom on campus with our three year old and 1 year old and are expecting our third. If you’d told me five years ago I’d be on bed rest at 11 weeks pregnant, taking care of a 3 year old and a 1 year old by myself while my husband is in school all day long (law school with finals coming up! Although he’s really trying to help out, the class load means he’s gone a lot!) I would have said that I couldn’t do it. But as we make it through day by day I’m realizing more and more that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.
And as my three year old talks non stop about the new baby, and loves her little sister (it’s mutual! They’re inseparable!) I can’t imagine it any other way!
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manualman
Guest
You’re supposed to be worried, it’s OK. It’s human nature. But the healthy expression of worry is to do what you can to prepare and leave what you can’t in God’s hands.
Besides, if you’re too much of a wuss to handle a special needs kid, God won’t give you one. (This is why I don’t have any, btw…
) I happen to know people with Down’s syndrome kids and a funny thing happens. They’re devastated at first by the news and as time goes on they slowly discover that that child brings previously unimagined joys into their lives. It’s a worry that isn’t worth worrying about: either way will work out.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
Even better. This American thing we have going, where every child gets his/her own bedroom, is ridiculous. We could fit at least 3 kids into my younger son’s room!No way! you can have at least 9 more!! We have 4 bedrooms, 2 full baths and 10 kids.
OP: you know the right answer in your heart. You know you’d give up any possession for your precious girl. It will be the same for your next little one. Put your faith in God and he will help you with the future, and if God blesses you with a child that needs (and gives!) more love and attention, God will show you how to love him.
Blessings to you and your wife as you follow God’s will in your family!
10 children! You are blessed indeed. “Her children rise up and call her blessed.”
:harp::heaven:
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aloe
Guest
A siblings is a gift for life to her that will be there even when you are not on this earth anymore. A sibling is not only a gift for her, but also for her future children, your own grandchildren - so they can have an extended family too with cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. Your decisions now effect your own family for generations to come, long after you have passed. I loved growing up with siblings and feel blessed to be born into a large extended family and grew up with many cousins close by, it was a wonderful childhood. Now my cousins have kids and everyone has each other still. It is something money cannot buy.
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ThyKingdomCome
Guest
DO IT ! DO IT !!!
Seriously, while I’m not a spiritual director, and the decision really is between you and God, and not me, I didn’t see anything in your post that sounded like a serious reason to avoid having more children. You have the financial resources, your home is large enough, your child would be ~3.5 (preschool age) by the time her sibling is born, and you haven’t mentioned any major family stressors like serious physical problems or mental illness. You are afraid of the transition from only child to sibling, which is understandable. Most parents experience those emotions before the birth of their second children. But our bodies were designed by God to have multiple children - he wouldn’t do that if it was bad for children to have siblings. As hard as it may be to look into your little one’s eyes and picture it being ok to share the love, you have to look at all of humanity and realize, it is OK to share the love. I had the same fears that you had, but I didn’t give in to them. My second child was born when my first was only 19m, and I’ve since had 2 more. Now my 4th child is almost 4, and I am sad that if I do have another baby, there will be such a large gap of age between them. What your children give up by having to share their parents and space with another sibling, they gain tenfold by having a sibling. When they are close in age, all the better - yes it’s harder at first when they are close in age, but it is easier and wonderful later. Furthermore, your wife is getting older, and won’t be fertile forever. If you wait too long, you may miss your chance to have another. Do it, do it, I say. Do it!!!
Seriously, while I’m not a spiritual director, and the decision really is between you and God, and not me, I didn’t see anything in your post that sounded like a serious reason to avoid having more children. You have the financial resources, your home is large enough, your child would be ~3.5 (preschool age) by the time her sibling is born, and you haven’t mentioned any major family stressors like serious physical problems or mental illness. You are afraid of the transition from only child to sibling, which is understandable. Most parents experience those emotions before the birth of their second children. But our bodies were designed by God to have multiple children - he wouldn’t do that if it was bad for children to have siblings. As hard as it may be to look into your little one’s eyes and picture it being ok to share the love, you have to look at all of humanity and realize, it is OK to share the love. I had the same fears that you had, but I didn’t give in to them. My second child was born when my first was only 19m, and I’ve since had 2 more. Now my 4th child is almost 4, and I am sad that if I do have another baby, there will be such a large gap of age between them. What your children give up by having to share their parents and space with another sibling, they gain tenfold by having a sibling. When they are close in age, all the better - yes it’s harder at first when they are close in age, but it is easier and wonderful later. Furthermore, your wife is getting older, and won’t be fertile forever. If you wait too long, you may miss your chance to have another. Do it, do it, I say. Do it!!!
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trials
Guest
Another one here throwing in my tuppence-worth. I am an only child and clearly remember as a young child crying on many many occasions in my room and pleading with God to give me a brother or sister. I didn’t know then that my Catholic parents had decided one was enough and were using contraception to avoid any more children. Those memories of loneliness are still painful. Even though I had second cousins and neighbours’ children nearby to play with, it was never the same. I envied them so much when it was time for them or me to go home and I knew I would be on my own again.
Now I have 3 kiddies and am very much open to more, (despite my repeat c-sections), and honestly, a sibling is the best gift you can give your child. Toys are novelties for a while, they hold only a passing interest and then get broken or outgrown, whereas a little companion and playmate is the best present you can get your child. Even for yourself, you will find as they grow up together that the focus will no longer be so much on yourself to provide the entertainment for your child. You know those long rainy Sundays, you can be happy knowing that at least your kid has someone to play with at home, and the onus won’t be on you all the time to provide the fun - they will have great fun entertaining each other with imaginary games. As someone else said here, listening to siblings playing together really warms the heart, and is often hilarious too.
I know it’s only my own personal experience I’m giving, but if I had known the joy my family would bring (and we are living on benefits), despite the financial strain, I would have started much earlier and had many more children if God had so arranged things for me.
Now I have 3 kiddies and am very much open to more, (despite my repeat c-sections), and honestly, a sibling is the best gift you can give your child. Toys are novelties for a while, they hold only a passing interest and then get broken or outgrown, whereas a little companion and playmate is the best present you can get your child. Even for yourself, you will find as they grow up together that the focus will no longer be so much on yourself to provide the entertainment for your child. You know those long rainy Sundays, you can be happy knowing that at least your kid has someone to play with at home, and the onus won’t be on you all the time to provide the fun - they will have great fun entertaining each other with imaginary games. As someone else said here, listening to siblings playing together really warms the heart, and is often hilarious too.
I know it’s only my own personal experience I’m giving, but if I had known the joy my family would bring (and we are living on benefits), despite the financial strain, I would have started much earlier and had many more children if God had so arranged things for me.
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FatherOfMany
Guest
My wife (42) and I just had # 13 (Maria Therese),
extra expense:blush: Dude, it’s CHEAPER by the dozen:thumbsup:
My wife is a stay at home mom and with all the siblings there is plenty of love to go around!
:grouphug:
Pray on it some more.
God Bless!
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28562
Guest
I’m not an only child, but my brothers are so different in age that sometimes I feel like it. I’m 27, my brothers are 42, 40, 34, 21. This is one of the reasons that I wanted kids close together. I remember wanting someone to throw a baseball with and my dad was always too tired. My little brother was afraid of the ball and my older brothers no longer lived at home. I used to throw a tennis ball at the house for hours so it would bounce back to me so it would be like I was playing catch. Then I got in trouble for breaking windows…repeatedly. I am not very close to any of my brothers even now and it really sucks. I can’t imagine how much it must suck to REALLY be an only child.
I am not very close to any of my brothers even now and it really sucks. I can’t imagine how much it must suck to REALLY be an only child.
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KnitNut
Guest
Don’t let talk of “maternal old age” spook you. Loads of women have kids past 30, or 35, or 40 and beyond, and all is well. I guess I’m one of them, didn’t start until 30 and then had healthy, happy kiddos for over a decade. Had 3 past age 40 (twins & a singleton). I did have ultrasounds & blood tests, but refused the amnio/CVS testing as too risky & invasive. That way we had an idea of each baby’s overall status. If we’d had different scan results, it would have given us time to educate ourselves and make appropriate plans for care after delivery.
Best wishes!
Best wishes!
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