Shout My Abortion Story! (Just Shut Up About Yours)

Status
Not open for further replies.
B

blackforest

Well-known member
In case you haven’t heard, there’s been yet another attempt to “normalize” and “destigmatize” abortion. https://shoutyourabortion.com/

Does anyone see the double standard here? The only stories that are welcomed are those that fit the “pro-choice” political narrative. Women who have regretted their abortions are silenced, demeaned, denied, and even stigmatized. In short, women’s lived experiences matter . . . until they don’t.

If you or a loved one has had and regretted an abortion, you might consider blasting them with your own stories. Women are not a monolith, after all, and regret is real.
 
How do we know the only stories that are welcomed are those of women who have no regrets?
 
Oh I’d love it if you could prove me wrong! I’m not optimistic, however, given the lack of regret stories on the site and the abortion rights movement’s history of marginalizing women who experience regret.
 
I read a few of the stories and have found two (so far) which express regret and grief.

One of those stories speaks of the baby as her baby whom she loved and who died and went to heaven. In places she writes as if she is speaking to the baby.
March 23rd, an angel was sent to heaven. One that will look after my boyfriend and I. I want to say sorry for not being able to keep you. Maybe I should’ve been stronger or I should’ve just done it without looking back. But I had to let you go baby. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. My heart is broken. I think about it every day. It is something that will stick with me, something I will pray for all the time. We love you, we love you even though we don’t have you.
Click to expand...
😭

Another story expresses much milder regret, and yet comes with the following advisory: “Content Warning: grief and regret.” I believe the warning was added by the webmaster because it is in a different color.

There may be other stories of regret. I only found these two because the titles suggested it.
 
blackforest said:
n case you haven’t heard, there’s been yet another attempt to “normalize” and “destigmatize” abortion
Click to expand...
Abortion has been legal in the US for almost half a century. It is seen as normal by more than half of the US, one is hard pressed to find people who do not permit some sort of loopholes.


The stigma is gone for virtually all Americans. Voters overwhelmingly show that they are okay with abortion in some circumstances as evidenced by the people they elect to office.

We need to change the way we treat women in this country. No woman should ever feel that abortion is her only choice. We fail every day to give women a real option.

If you want to make a difference, donate to a pregnancy home. Pregnant women in crisis often need far more than an ultrasound and a bag of baby clothes. They need help paying bills when they get fired for going to doctors appointments or missing work due to pregnancy complications. They need paid maternity leave. They need a place to live when husband or partner throws them out because he does not want another child to feed, a place that will let them bring other children if needed.
 
TheLittleLady said:
The stigma is gone for virtually all Americans.
Click to expand...
Then one would wonder why this campaign is here or why they even see a need.

I definitely see a stigma against te women of Silent No More and Project Rachel. They speak an inconvenient truth to those who’d rather sugarcoat abortion.
 
I do help in those ways.

I want to see women TRULY empowered so they don’t end up pregnant at the wrong time by the wrong man.

We should all strive to keep women from going through what my coworker (yes, she cried about it at work even though she shouldn’t have) said was the most horrific, gut-wrenching experience of her life. She also said just hearing the word “abortion” gives her PTSD.

And she didn’t have an abortion. She was holding the hand of a friend while she had an abortion.
 
Beryllos said:
March 23rd, an angel was sent to heaven. One that will look after my boyfriend and I. I want to say sorry for not being able to keep you. Maybe I should’ve been stronger or I should’ve just done it without looking back. But I had to let you go baby. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. My heart is broken. I think about it every day. It is something that will stick with me, something I will pray for all the time. We love you, we love you even though we don’t have you.
Click to expand...
Doesn’t sound so much like regret as I’m sorry but I had to do it.
Click to expand...
 
Well, she wrote the story 2 weeks after the abortion. She has a mess of different emotions and reasons. She recognizes that a baby was killed. Guilt, regret, and grief are in there somewhere, as are excuses and rationalization.
 
Last edited:
Beryllos said:
Well, she wrote the story 2 weeks after the abortion. She has a mess of different emotions and reasons. She recognizes that a baby was killed. Guilt, regret, and grief are in there somewhere, as are excuses and rationalization.
Click to expand...
In context it’s more sickening. Even reading other stories. These women knew what they were doing.
 
Shame there isn’t a similar site for men to share their stories. There are a number of male friends of mine who still grieve over their aborted children now. Of course, they had no say over the decision.
 
I was referring to the OP:
blackforest said:
In case you haven’t heard, there’s been yet another attempt to “normalize” and “destigmatize” abortion.
Click to expand...
The stigma against all abortion is virtually non existent. Even much of the pro-life movement is okay with incrementalism and loopholes.

Those of us who oppose all abortion are rare ducks and I know I have been stigmatized as “pro choice” because I will not support legislation with loopholes.
 
Elf01 said:
Doesn’t sound so much like regret as I’m sorry but I had to do it.

[and subsequent posts]
Click to expand...
I would love to have a discussion about what constitutes regret – I have a feeling you and I have different understandings of it – but perhaps another time.
 
Last edited:
Perhaps one of things needing to be addressed is why these women felt they had no choice. One may not accept their answer as satisfactory or not but we are failing as a society when a woman feels this way. We are already failing on the acceptability of abortion in our society and we need to address this issue as well. Otherwise abortion will continue even if it is illegal (loopholes or completely).
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top