Siblings commiting adultery and destroying their families. Where do I start?

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howletus

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Cradle Catholic. Family of 4 boys. All altar boys. Family rosary once in a while. Grew up and pretty much all our Catholic faith became was going to church on Sunday.
I stuck with my faith and got it. For whatever reason God has given me the grace and desire to know and learn my faith. To read scripture. To read about the saints. To know the why and not just the rules. I got it. I know it’s the Truth. I embraced my faith.
Now all in our mid to late thirties. My brothers have not praticed their faith except for going to church. Two of them have carried on affairs and are now going through separations/divorce. The third brother is right on the edge. I pray for the grace to know when to talk and when to shut up and listen. I KNOW God has chosen me to bring them back and I do reach them when we do have a chance to talk but it’s becoming increasingly difficult to compete with what’s going on in their lives.
Just want some advice on getting them back. I know prayer is number one but I think an apologist would probably have some words of wisdom. I really think, like me, they need to learn the why of our faith to come back. I’ve heard Father Corapi say when they are ready they will ask but I feel if I wait, too much damage will have already been done to them and their families. I’m trying to introduce them to Christopher West’s offerings but just don’t know if their ready. Maybe I just pray and give it up to God. I just don’t know what to do. Their kids are heading in the wrong direction as a result of all this. I am Godfather and Confirmation sponsor to several of their kids.
ANY advice is greatly appreciated.

Thank you…
 
Cradle Catholic. Family of 5. Three Girls. All of us left the Church but I returned 4 years ago. One sister is on her 4th husband and believes in “something”, but she’s not sure what. The other sister is a practicing homosexual who is virulently anti-Catholic (much like I was before reverting).

Because we were raised Catholic back in the stone ages, complete with full Catholic schooling, they occasionally make comments or ask questions. When they do, I seize the opportunity to catechise like crazy! For example, 4-times-married sis told me she doesn’t go to Church because she always thought it was so dopey how we had to be quiet, and stand and sit for “no reason”. She has a child’s understanding (or lack of) her faith. I sent her a fabulous youtube video (that someone posted on CAF) that explained all the theology behind the motions we do in Church. She watched it and thanked me. My lesbian sister was under the impression that the Church had excommunicated her because she got a divorce from her husband 40 years ago. I emailed her every document on divorce, annulment, and excommunication offenses (along with a list of all the famous people who had been declared excommunicated) and countered her rebuttals until she finally surrendered on that particular fight.

God will give you opportunities if you continue to pray. You just have to be ready for them when they are presented and be fearless with your responses. God bless you!
 
Thank you for your responses and your prayers. It’s amazing how just hearing about someone else who is going through a similar situation can bring a little peace. I can honestly say that the worst thing in my life right now is seeing my brothers and their families go through these struggles. This IS what keeps me up at night. My younger brother got his girlfriend pregnant when they were both 17. Of course, being from a Catholic family my parents encouraged them to get married. She went through RCIA and they were married in the church.
Now after 14 years of marriage they have a 15 year old son and a 12 year old daughter. His wife is from a rough and poor family. She brought a very hard heart into the marriage.
My older brother’s wife also went through RCIA and they were married in the church. They abstained for several months before their wedding and practiced NFP after they were married but because I don’t think they ever really “got it” it caused more confusion about sex in the marriage than anything else. They now have two young children that are shuttled back and forth between parents. One of them being my God daughter.
Both brothers I suspect are already dating the women they commited adultery with.
When it comes to their understanding of their faith they are still like children. I get the same questions from them that I get from their teenage children. I know they have it in them but they are just ignorant to all of it and at times it gets me doubting during my dry times. As a single man just trying become the best Catholic man I can be and discerning my vocation I admit that their new adolescent lifestyles are creating temptations in my own life.
Still I continue to pray and learn so I am prepared to pounce on every opportunity to help them discover their Catholic faith really for the first time.
 
Monicad,
Thank you for your prayers. My brothers are not going to get much help from the circle of people they are running around with right now.
I know even though they seem so far away from God, He is not far away from them.
I will pray for yours as well.
 
I pray that all goes well for you. I have two brothers that are not into their faith too much as well. At this point there is not much that I can do other than pray. A good friend of mine mentioned the following series you may want to look into.

Search and Rescue by Patrick Madrid <—click on that link

Also, www.patrickmadrid.com
 
As a single man just trying become the best Catholic man I can be and discerning my vocation I admit that their new adolescent lifestyles are creating temptations in my own life.
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God bless you for your honesty! We are all struggling to stay on the path with Our Lord. Look to Him for the grace to steer clear of the temptations. If you need help, look back over what you wrote in your posts. The damage, pain, suffering and self-inflicted turmoil in your family is the result of giving in to temptation. It’s a blessing that God has given you the eyes to see the sad results of straying from the path He laid out for us all. And keep in mind that the damage won’t stop with what happens in your brother’s lives. It will filter through their children and grandchildren and on and on, until someone finally gets it and turns it around. You may be that person. Your example of living a life of faith will provide a stark contrast of light in the darkness.
 
I don’t have much to add beyond the truly awesome advice you’ve already received here. I just wanted to post in support of you and let you know that you are not alone in worrying over family members’ salvation. That free will God gave us really can mess things up, can’t it? Like Fr. Corapi said, people will only come around when they are ready. My fear is to come on too strong and cause them to be defensive and harden their hearts more. So, I guess prayer, fasting and offering masses for their re-conversion is the best you can do to help them get ready to come back to the church.
 
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