Single Catholic offered Embryo to Adopt

[L_Wonders]

I am single, Catholic woman who was widowed suddenly a few years ago with no children. The lack of family has been a source of grief which I have been working through.

Recently, a friend who was there to witness my grieving process reached out to let me know that she is undergoing IVF and said she had 10-12 viable embryos. Chances were good that she would have extra, she said, and, if she did, would I want one?

I was a bit stunned as I didn’t know what to say. I don’t agree with IVF, for obvious reasons, but these embryos exist – they are there whether I agree with the practice or not – and per our Catholic faith, they’re children.

I told her to focus on her own process right now and that we would revisit this topic in several months. In the meantime, I’ve been trying to get through my mind what the right to do would be. I don’t know how the father of these embryos feels about the prospect of my adopting (since this is not a conversation we’ve had yet) and I also don’t know how this couple feels about donating them to adoptive couples they don’t know. I can’t be a couple, no matter how much I try.

In the meantime, I have been looking in to all sorts of other adoptive options included foster parent adoption and international adoption (in case either of those turn out to be good routes) and talking to single adoptive mothers for their insight as I navigate this.

I’m just writing for some opinions and guidance. Before you answer, please remember that – regardless of Catholic teaching concerning the creation of frozen embryos – we’re not here to debate whether creating these in a laboratory is a moral practice. As I said before, that is done, and I’m not considering creating more. That debate is not relevant here. The issue here is adoption.

This is a toughie and I am hoping for some non-judgmental Catholic insight.

 

[Cruciferi]

There are different thoughts on this complex matter:

Is It OK to Adopt an Embryo? | Catholic Answers Q&A

 

[1ke]

Contact the National Catholic Bioethics Center to discuss the morality.

Read Dignitas Personae also, the Church says frozen/left over embryos are a problem with no viable solution.

 

[TheLittleLady]

As a recent widow myself, my heart breaks for you.

Here are the Vatican’s instructions:

https://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/...cfaith_doc_20081208_dignitas-personae_en.html

Many articles from the US Bishops here:

http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/human-life-and-dignity/reproductive-technology/index.cfm

 

[Anicette]

No, it is an immoral option. And definitely not a Catholic one.

It is not to you to correct the issue of this friend who sin in creating lab embryos.

First, if you make the embryos grow in you, you will create another injustice to them as you are not their parents. They would have to deal with a broken filation, a separation of the genetical parents with the mother who give birth. To add with their unutural conception.

And as a widow woman, it would be another injustice as children are to be born only with a (married) mother and father. A single woman whould not have to have a children through immoral means.

Adoption is already enough a problem and many catholic charities refuses to accept to let children be adopted with other than a married woman and man.

According to the catholic Church these embryos are in a dilemna situation with no good solution. Implantation with the couple would be immoral, implant them with another couple would more immoral, destruct them would be immoral. And keep them frozen indefinitely would be seen as a relentless therapy as they are in a unatural situation.

To, conclude, the the option with less consequences would be to destroyed them if the parents don’t want them anymore.
And we don’t solve an immoral situation but creating more injustice and another immoral situation.

But again, it is not your embryos, and your situation, so it is not your choice to make.

 

[L_Wonders]

Hi!

Thanks for your reply!

I agree with a lot that you said. You are right that it is not my choice as they are not my embryos. And it is certainly preferable for all children to have two parents – absolutely.

I’m not sure how you came to the conclusion that it would be best and least immoral to just allow the embryos to be thawed? I didn’t read that anywhere in the links provided in the other answers, nor do I think that is a particularly Catholic conclusion. Another situation, for example, that I think would be comparable. Let’s say I was a Catholic in Europe during World War II and a Jewish family approached me to ask for me to take their children and lie, saying they were my children, my nieces and nephews, etc., and that they were baptized Catholics in order to get them to safety.

Would I do it? Heck yes, I would. Is lying wrong? Yup. Would it be traumatic for the children? Absolutely. Did I create the dangerous situation? No. But I believe the bottom line is that they are people and they have a right to live so, whatever I can do that creates the least amount of damage but serves the highest end — Sometimes there are no good answers, understandable, but I don’t accept that the Catholic church would suggest that the correct way to respond to a situation like that is to not do what we can.

That said, you are correct that have no control over what my friend chooses to do, and I have no reason to believe a) that her “offer” of an embryo will actually happen and b) that they will choose to thaw the embryos they have left over. I have no way of knowing that. I’m just trying to sort out how I would respond.

I am also looking into foster care adoption and foreign adoption as alternatives, since I may have a bit more sway there. It isn’t true that Catholic agencies only adopt to couples – it depends on the agency, the children, their age, etc. You may have been assuming we were only talking about healthy babies without special needs. In that case, yes, you are probably correct in most cases. I wish I could will myself to be a couple. I can do what I can but, ultimately, I just don’t have any control over that either So, we do the best we can.

Praying for a positive outcome to this.

 

[AdamP88]

Contact the National Catholic Bioethics Center to discuss the morality.

Read Dignitas Personae also, the Church says frozen/left over embryos are a problem with no viable solution.

I would second this.

Also I would think hard before adopting as a single person. Not saying don’t do it but I really think a child deserves the chance to have a mother and father.