Sister and fiance cohabiting and rejecting the faith--how to help?

[a_cermak]

Homosexual behavior is harmful and studies point that out clearly…shorter life expectancy, more likely to contract sexually transmitted disease (including HIV), increased depression, etc. So, it’s damaging to both the soul and body.

Have you looked at the rates of STD infection by exclusively lesbian women? Quite low. The health problem with most lesbians is that they are not lesbian enough–quite a few have heterosexual relationships (or at least sex) on the side as well. Unfortunately that then bumps up their risks of getting STDs.

And to say it’s damaging to the soul implies that one believes it is damaging to the soul. I belong to a Church that does not consider monogamous homosexuality to be sinful. It was one of the reasons I chose that Church. Not that I am gay, but I do not wish to judge those who are or to feel compelled to vote against their interests. I too have many gay friends and relatives and believe whole-heartedly in liberty, equality and fraternity.

 

[DanteAlighieri]

Have you looked at the rates of STD infection by exclusively lesbian women?

No, I haven’t. Care to cite them?

And to say it’s damaging to the soul implies that one believes it is damaging to the soul. I belong to a Church that does not consider monogamous homosexuality to be sinful.

On what basis does your church not consider homosexual activity a sin? Does your church consider fornication a sin? Adultery? Does your church teach that sex is merely a unitive act, or do they believe that the procreative aspect is just as important? Is there any objective standard for sexual morality?

Furthermore, if you’re going to assert in this discussion that homosexuality is not damaging to the soul, feel free to back that claim up with more than opinion.

It was one of the reasons I chose that Church. Not that I am gay, but **I do not wish to judge those who are **or to feel compelled to vote against their interests. I too have many gay friends and relatives and believe whole-heartedly in liberty, equality and fraternity.

Are you suggesting that the Catholic church believes whole-heartedly in restricting the freedom of homosexuals, rendering them as second-class citizens, and banning them from our midst?

Do you believe that we Catholics are taught to “judge” homosexuals?

Did you really choose a church based on how it would make your friends feel, rather than on the totality of its message?

I’m sorry if my directness comes off as rude; I don’t mean it to be. But if you really believe these things about Catholicism, at least come out and say it instead of hinting at it with no support for your statements.

Peace,
Dante

 

[DanteAlighieri]

I apologize for the harshness of my comment “feel free…opinion”.

That was uncalled for.

Peace,
Dante

 

[a_cermak]

No, I haven’t. Care to cite them?

On what basis does your church not consider homosexual activity a sin? Does your church consider fornication a sin? Adultery? Does your church teach that sex is merely a unitive act, or do they believe that the procreative aspect is just as important? Is there any objective standard for sexual morality?

Furthermore, if you’re going to assert in this discussion that homosexuality is not damaging to the soul, feel free to back that claim up with more than opinion.

Are you suggesting that the Catholic church believes whole-heartedly in restricting the freedom of homosexuals, rendering them as second-class citizens, and banning them from our midst?

Do you believe that we Catholics are taught to “judge” homosexuals?

Did you really choose a church based on how it would make your friends feel, rather than on the totality of its message?

I’m sorry if my directness comes off as rude; I don’t mean it to be. But if you really believe these things about Catholicism, at least come out and say it instead of hinting at it with no support for your statements.

Peace,
Dante

No the Catholic Church is actually quite enlightened toward gay folk as long as they don’t pair off. My main beef with the Catholic Church is in its telling its parishioners how to vote on the gay marriage issue. That was what I meant by voting against their interests. Also many Catholics, for instance on these boards, believe that you should judge gay people who have paired off and say not invite their partner over to their houses etc. saying it gives scandal. I feel that if one is going to do that to a gay relative, why bother keeping up the relationship at all if one is uninterested in really understanding the person. Gay partners are as important in a committed monogamous gay relationship as my partner is to me. I would not think of bothering to visit my family if my husband was unacceptable to come with, why would I expect the same for my gay relatives and friends?

Like I said, the Catholic Church isn’t the worst Christian denomination when it comes to gay folk, but it’s not the most gay-friendly either.

 

[blessedtoo]

Okay, thread has been effectively derailed, once again, by the pro-homosexual apologists. Can you all just start a thread to debate the issue of the Church position of homosexuality and knock yourselves out there? New Members who are posting sincere questions about how to handle this issue with family and friends do not need to be subjected to the endless debate promulgated by the few on these forums who refuse to see the truth.

 

[blessedtoo]

I love my sister and wish she could see the truth. If nothing else please pray for her and her finance. Thank you.

OP, I love my sister too. She has been living in a homosexual relationship for nearly 20 years now. I came back to the Church about 5 years ago and believe me when I say it has made for some very sensitive conversation. This is what I have learned:

My sister KNOWS, in her heart and soul, that the lifestyle she has chosen will not be pleasing to God, however she currently claims to understand Him. She knows this the way we all inherently know the natural and moral law that is written in our hearts. She also know, having been raised in a faithful Catholic home, that she can’t square her lifestyle choice with the faith into which she was baptized. She knows where I stand, she knows where the Church stands and she has made her decision. I don’t treat her any differently than I do anyone else, for we are all great sinners. I love her and I pray for her constantly. When she asks me questions, I answer her with love. When she wants my opinion, I give it with love. But I give it with truth as well. So far, she has not run from our relationship. And when she is ready to heed the promptings of the Holy Spirit in her heart, she will hopefully make different decisions. But for now, I pray ceaselessly for her, and for all those who have fallen so far from the truth. Do not despair for God is in control and He does indeed hear your prayers.

 

[Riley259]

No the Catholic Church is actually quite enlightened toward gay folk as long as they don’t pair off. My main beef with the Catholic Church is in its telling its parishioners how to vote on the gay marriage issue. That was what I meant by voting against their interests. Also many Catholics, for instance on these boards, believe that you should judge gay people who have paired off and say not invite their partner over to their houses etc. saying it gives scandal. I feel that if one is going to do that to a gay relative, why bother keeping up the relationship at all if one is uninterested in really understanding the person. Gay partners are as important in a committed monogamous gay relationship as my partner is to me. I would not think of bothering to visit my family if my husband was unacceptable to come with, why would I expect the same for my gay relatives and friends?

Like I said, the Catholic Church isn’t the worst Christian denomination when it comes to gay folk, but it’s not the most gay-friendly either.

The Catholic church has an obligation to tell it’s parishoners that there is only one way to vote on the gay marriage issue: and that is to vote against it because that is the only way that is commensurate with the teachings of the Catholic church! To vote for it directly opposes the teachings of the Church.

 

[cmhgirod]

hello, i’m back, and have just read and reread all the replies to my question/thread. First of all, let me say thanks to blessedtoo because you hit the nail on the head about this thread being derailed! I simply wanted some advice as to how to respond to my sister’s attacks on my faith. This is not so much about homosexuality–there are many other reasons my sister cites for leaving the Catholic faith–that just happens to be the first thing she brings up whenever she asks me why I returned to the church and why I am raising my kids Catholic. So, you see, Mirdath, I do not bring up the subject with her, rather, she gets pretty worked up about the fact that I am a practicing Catholic and she cites her “concern” about me raising my three kids in mine and my husband’s faith. Now, don’t misunderstand me, my sister and I do get along very well and are actually very close, but we disagree on religious issues, obviously. I feel like I have to defend my faith and how I am raising my kids with her! So, I just wanted some advice about this. And thanks, Rebecca New, I am glad to know someone else who is in the same boat as I am–I will keep you and your family is my prayers as well. Also, I will try the polygamy argument with her next time she brings this up! Please try to keep your replies from getting bogged down on the issue of homosexuality–that is a reason for disagreement between my sister and myself, but not the real issue–which is how do I handle her verbal attacks on my faith? Thanks.