Size of a Family

[Andrew_11]

A lot of people on this forum seem to think that more is better in terms of number of kids. I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a large family, if you want to have a lot of children, go for it. But when (or if, I feel I could possibly be called to be a priest) I get married I think I would only want about two kids. I am against contraceptives and would not use them, but if I used NFP to avoid having more than two or three kids, would this be sinful. What if someone did not want to have any children and used NFP and did not have children. Would this be sinful.

 

[Lillith]

Andrew_11:

A lot of people on this forum seem to think that more is better in terms of number of kids. I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a large family, if you want to have a lot of children, go for it. But when (or if, I feel I could possibly be called to be a priest) I get married I think I would only want about two kids. I am against contraceptives and would not use them, but if I used NFP to avoid having more than two or three kids, would this be sinful. What if someone did not want to have any children and used NFP and did not have children. Would this be sinful.

I used to think that way…until I had children. Now I would have as many as G-d chose for me to. Each and every child makes the family richer and stronger, and adds new dimensions. Also I have this illness that is called “I love to be pregnant and I love babies.” Everytime my baby gets to be about oh…four or so, and starts smelling like a wet dog instead of formula and powder, I miss my baby and crave another.

Now…my family is probably complete, since we’ll be sending the oldest to college in a couple of years…it’s probably smart to not have another right now…but I would take it in a heartbeat! it makes me feel proud that I would follow G-d’s will and not my own!

 

[gardenswithkids]

Andrew_11:

…I think I would only want about two kids…

The key words you used are “I WANT.” The gift of children has less to do with what we want for ourselves and more to do with what God wants for us. Some people may WANT large families, but God may tell them no. Some people may want only two or three children and God may give them more. We are called to be open to God’s will for us and not merely our will for ourselves.

God blesses many families with only one or two children. Both Mary and St. Elizabeth show us that mothers of an only child may be called to raise an extraordinarily special child, so I will not judge someone by their family size. But to the outside world, an NFP family with only a couple children generally looks just like every other family that uses contraception. NFP can be difficult for some couples, and when they look around and see only small families they give into the pressure to contracept. Children are gifts from God. Large families challenge the culture and remind us that the Lord and Giver of Life is generous.

If you are called to marriage, involve God in the decision of how many children you have. If you are called to the priesthood, encourage your spiritual children to involve God in deciding their family size.

 

[bluerose]

Andrew,

I did a double-take when I saw your name… then a triple-take when I read your post.

My BIL is named Andrew… he and his wife are currently expecting Baby No. 11 (the tie-breaker–they have 5 boys and 5 girls)…AND he once considered a vocation to the priesthood.

Just… coincidence, right? (This is the part where Rod Serling steps out from behind a bush and announces that you are in the Twilight Zone, I think…):ehh:

BlueRose

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Oh Sweetie, not to be condescending, but your profile says you are a teenager. It’s nice that you want to consider these things, but you might not even be called to the married life.

As another poster said, ask God about it, in prayer with your wife- when the time comes, if it comes. You will be so much happier with the result than if you decide on your own.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

Andrew_11:

I think I would only want about two kids.

Two key words…think and want. Don’t stress too much about this right now. But think about what God wants for you.

I am against contraceptives and would not use them, but if I used NFP to avoid having more than two or three kids, would this be sinful.

Depends on your motives. NFP to avoid conception is only to be used for serious reasons. What is a serious reason? It depends on the family. Some resons could be medical, financial, emotional, etc… individual issues need to be discussed and agreed upon by the married couple with the help of a good spiritual advisor.

To avoid having more children just because it is what you want would be sinful as you are following your will, not the will of God.

What if someone did not want to have any children and used NFP and did not have children. Would this be sinful.

Again, it depends on the motives of the couple. But if a person “knows” that they never want children and do not have a serious reason, then I am not sure if their marriage would be valid because it is right in the vows to accept children.

Malia

 

[dnewbern]

My wife and I have six children. I do not believe in birth control. I do believe in the “mystical body of Christ” regarding the Eucharist–and also regarding my role as a father.

John Ch. 6 requires that we eat the flesh of Jesus and drink his blood to attain salvation. Transubsantiation is the actutal changing of the bread and wine into the body and blood of Jesus.

Likewise, I believe that I am changed with each child that we have. God’s grace makes me stronger as a father. With each child, I am transformed into a differnt father–one with more children–transformed by the grace of God. Though this is transformation is not directly scriptural, it parrallels transubstantiation. God showers grace on me with the birth of each child–I am, therefore, changed.

That’s why I never look back and speculate about how much money we would have saved if we did not have the latest child around. Because of God’s grace, because of the mystical body of Christ, I am no longer the man that I was before the child was born.

 

[Andrew_11]

Thank you. You all have been very helpful. You guys really made me realize that I need to worry more about what God wants for me. And I have a lot of time to think about these things because I’m only 16. Thanks to all who responded.

 

[AmberDale]

You know I WANT 5 or more kids. But at this point in my life it looks like GOD only WANTS me to have my 2 miracles. Who knows, one day we may get more either biologically or by adoption.

 

[StephanieC]

dnewbern:

My wife and I have six children. I do not believe in birth control. I do believe in the “mystical body of Christ” regarding the Eucharist–and also regarding my role as a father.

John Ch. 6 requires that we eat the flesh of Jesus and drink his blood to attain salvation. Transubsantiation is the actutal changing of the bread and wine into the body and blood of Jesus.

Likewise, I believe that I am changed with each child that we have. God’s grace makes me stronger as a father. With each child, I am transformed into a differnt father–one with more children–transformed by the grace of God. Though this is transformation is not directly scriptural, it parrallels transubstantiation. God showers grace on me with the birth of each child–I am, therefore, changed.

That’s why I never look back and speculate about how much money we would have saved if we did not have the latest child around. Because of God’s grace, because of the mystical body of Christ, I am no longer the man that I was before the child was born.

I don’t believe I have ever heard anything like this before…all I can say is, “Wow!” Thank you so much for posting this for us, dnewbern…you have given me much food for thought & prayer!