OK, since I fancy myself nearly unoffendable (except of course when it suits my purpose) I’ll see what I can do with them.
To me it looks like an indictment of Fundies more directly than Catholicism, but I’ll take them on one at a time.
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
Yep. That’s because we’re right and you’re wrong.
We don’t always feel outraged, though. Sometimes we fell pity that they don’t know what they’re missing.
9 - You feel insulted and “dehumanized” when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
Interesting point. I’m going to use that next time I get into an argument with a rabid Fundy about evolution. Kansas is recognized internationally as the capitol of stupidity on the evolution issue, and I have personally worked alongside those Fundies and found out what it’s like to be a politician. When a woman is as ridiculous as one was, but she is bringing me free campaign yard signs, I’m kind of ambivalent about being on the same team. You really can’t appreciate politics until you’ve seen a glimpse from the inside.
Good thing the Catholic Church doesn’t put God into the same box that Fundies do, and require that Genesis be interpreted literally.
Of course man is made from dirt. That’s where the minerals are, which feed the plants, which we and other animals eat, and then we eat the animals. Not only are we made from dirt but we are sustained our whole lives by stuff we get out of dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
We admit the Trinity is a mystery. Besides, we don’t laugh at polytheists, we condemn them. (just kidding)
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but you don’t even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees!
We don’t have any problem with Allah, but with the stuff that idiots do in His name. I’ve known people who believed in Allah who do not condone atrocities committed whether on His behalf or not.
Besides, God was killing bad guys. The Allah fanatics were killing us. What more reason do we need to turn purple? Many of us turned blue and stiff because of them.
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
Guilty as charged.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
If this is what I think it is, I fully agree. I once took the first few lessons of a non-denominational correspondence Bible study, and they were convinced of this thing where the entire earth was going to be 7000 years. It had some parallel to God creating the earth in 7 days, combined with “a day is like a thousand years.” Until that point, I thought I was learning a great deal from the Bible study. When I got to that, I found they were stretching logic well beyond its breaking point.
I think that was called the Worldwide Church of God or something, headed up by some dude that did a lot of ambassador work. He started a college called ambassador I think.
This is a Catholic, completely agreeing with this sentiment that is against Fundies, but I know very few Catholics who believe in the second assertion, and the first assertion is not doctrinal although many people may think that personally.
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