So I wrote a song for protestants

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philv

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I was a protestant before, and I felt this kind of letter from my Catholic friends here. It helped me convert, and my music went along with it. This song is just a rough draft, made one day. Voice is terrible, but whatever. It’s a quicky.

I’m curious what you think? It will help in future versions. Please share it too!

youtube.com/watch?v=xTQVWZ9j6Cw
 
I liked the lyric about keeping good things but throwing out all the traditions. It’s a powerful critique. The tone of the song is loving. I’m not always clear on some parts due to the loose grammar but overall a nice attempt at reaching out. In general the shorter sentences work better, the longer ones are kind of stuffed with too much. Create shorter word images with beauty and irony like the one I mentioned in my first sentence.
 
Sounds good. I think I made up the words when I was singing on the longer lines. I couldn’t even understand what I sung on one line. And thanks on the shorter lines… my friend and I were talking about philosophy/reasoning that is much easier to understand than throwing bible verses at each other, and I think this one speaks out in that way. I’m kind of liking it.
 
You have some good lines but I think it needs some work. It doesn’t totally flow as other songs I have heard do. The voice also graded on my nerves. It was very nasal and it was difficult to understand without the subtitles. That said, I think it has alot of promise but it needs some work and a finer voice, perhaps a woman’s voice or a male voice that isn’t as nasal.
 
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