So miserable :(

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erine

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My engagement just ended, which was a good thing. I also, not directly related though, (engagement would have ended regardless), basically think I know who I am actually supposed to marry. Either that, or I’m insane and God is allowing me to experience a unique kind of torture, which has in various ways been my whole life experience. I constantly wonder if I am Job and this is all an elaborate plan on God’s part to make me suffer the maximum amount possible, which would be fine if that’s what His will is, but I would at least like Him to tell me first so I can brace myself. 😦 I know however that He wants me to hope, which is hard right now…

I don’t really want to go into details here (PM me if you want to know) but I’m seriously struggling with trusting God and understanding what to do and His will right now. And the situation is really kind of a mess. I don’t know what I’m saying really, just reaching out.

Prayers or message would help.
 
I’m very sorry for all that you are going through, as many of us (myself included) do know what it’s like to endure great and ongoing sadness, frustration, loneliness, difficulty.

Loss of a relationship, and yearning for a particular relationship can be draining and distressing and can impact seriously on our lives if it is our primary emotional focus, which it often can be.

I think sometimes it is we, not God, who place the most pressure of suffering upon ourselves with our expectations and also in consequence to our choices and other persons’ choices that have some impact on our lives.

We may believe it is God who is placing such heavy burdens on us, but sometimes it’s our own ambitions and desires, and the limitations we encounter. It’s hard to bear the frustrations especially where we have no control over another person’s choices and will and the person does not share our desires and intentions.

When God does not overcome a person’s will, which He may not, it is very painful to us…though I don’t know if your difficulty includes that sorrow.
May God lead you to peace, happiness, and the fulfillment of His loving will for you.

Rather than to align yourself with Job, it might be more encouraging to unite yourself with The Suffering Servant, Isaiah 53.
You may recognize not only Christ, but also yourself in those passages, in union with him, which also includes the promise that the suffering is redemptive for others.

I hope that things improve soon for you, but certainly, that with your cooperation in God’s grace, all will resolve in accord to His love for you and for others through you.
 
Erine, I’m very sorry to hear about your break-up. It’s important to remember, though, how much worse this situation could have been if you two had gone through with your marriage plans, had children and then started to have these issues. While I know how painful this experience must be for you, God splitting you two up could have been saving you from a vastly more painful and life-changing situation down the road. I would say that this could very well have been a tremendous sign of God’s infinite mercy to spare you, your ex-boyfriend and your potential children from much more pain.

These painful experiences in life can also be God trying to teach us a difficult lesson. I wouldn’t necessarly assume that your situation like that of Job, but I would reach out to God and ask Him what He wants you to learn from this difficult experience so that you can continue to grow in love and faith (as well possibly becoming ready to finally meet “the one”).

God bless! 🙂
 
erine said:
My engagement just ended, which was a good thing. I also, not directly related though, (engagement would have ended regardless), basically think I know who I am actually supposed to marry. Either that, or I’m insane and God is allowing me to experience a unique kind of torture, which has in various ways been my whole life experience. I constantly wonder if I am Job and this is all an elaborate plan on God’s part to make me suffer the maximum amount possible, which would be fine if that’s what His will is, but I would at least like Him to tell me first so I can brace myself. 😦 I know however that He wants me to hope, which is hard right now…

I don’t really want to go into details here (PM me if you want to know) but I’m seriously struggling with trusting God and understanding what to do and His will right now. And the situation is really kind of a mess. I don’t know what I’m saying really, just reaching out.

Prayers or message would help.
Click to expand...
I can promise you this:
in all likelihhod, YOU ARE NOT JOB.
 
[BIBLEDRB]Deuteronomy 31:8[/BIBLEDRB]

[BIBLEDRB]Psalm 36:3-5[/BIBLEDRB]

[BIBLEDRB]Proverbs 3:5-6[/BIBLEDRB]

Come, Holy Ghost, Sanctifier all powerful, God of love, Thou Who didst fill the Virgin Mary with grace, Thou Who didst wonderfully transform the hearts of the Apostles, Thou Who didst endow all Thy martyrs with a miraculous heroism, come and sanctify us. Illumine our minds, strengthen our wills, purify our consciences, rectify our judgments, set our hearts on fire, and preserve us from the misfortune of resisting Thine inspirations. Amen.

A very dear friend of mine told me “It is what it is, and may God bring a greater good out of it.”

The evil one is trying to deceive you, he is taking advantage of your situation. Here is when you should stick like a glue to God, and be faithful to Him. I remember this man who suffered for each and everyone of us, He died for us, He was in so much pain. People forget there is a man who had it worse and yet He was and is so loving and caring.

You can’t know what’s God’s plan for you, cuz you are just a human, so go and trust that He has a better plan for you, [BIBLEDRB]John 20:29[/BIBLEDRB]pray to move according to His Will, Trust Jesus and the rest will follow.

God bless,
E_7
 
Trishie said:
I’m very sorry for all that you are going through, as many of us (myself included) do know what it’s like to endure great and ongoing sadness, frustration, loneliness, difficulty.

Loss of a relationship, and yearning for a particular relationship can be draining and distressing and can impact seriously on our lives if it is our primary emotional focus, which it often can be.

I think sometimes it is we, not God, who place the most pressure of suffering upon ourselves with our expectations and also in consequence to our choices and other persons’ choices that have some impact on our lives.

We may believe it is God who is placing such heavy burdens on us, but sometimes it’s our own ambitions and desires, and the limitations we encounter. It’s hard to bear the frustrations especially where we have no control over another person’s choices and will and the person does not share our desires and intentions.

When God does not overcome a person’s will, which He may not, it is very painful to us…though I don’t know if your difficulty includes that sorrow.
May God lead you to peace, happiness, and the fulfillment of His loving will for you.

Rather than to align yourself with Job, it might be more encouraging to unite yourself with The Suffering Servant, Isaiah 53.
You may recognize not only Christ, but also yourself in those passages, in union with him, which also includes the promise that the suffering is redemptive for others.

I hope that things improve soon for you, but certainly, that with your cooperation in God’s grace, all will resolve in accord to His love for you and for others through you.
Click to expand...
Thanks for your support and prayers. I am trying to align my suffering with Christ’s. I do everything in my power. I pray that God is purifying me to be ready to fulfill the vocation He has called me to. Please pray for me if you can. Thank you.
 
MidnightSun12 said:
Erine, I’m very sorry to hear about your break-up. It’s important to remember, though, how much worse this situation could have been if you two had gone through with your marriage plans, had children and then started to have these issues. While I know how painful this experience must be for you, God splitting you two up could have been saving you from a vastly more painful and life-changing situation down the road. I would say that this could very well have been a tremendous sign of God’s infinite mercy to spare you, your ex-boyfriend and your potential children from much more pain.

These painful experiences in life can also be God trying to teach us a difficult lesson. I wouldn’t necessarly assume that your situation like that of Job, but I would reach out to God and ask Him what He wants you to learn from this difficult experience so that you can continue to grow in love and faith (as well possibly becoming ready to finally meet “the one”).

God bless! 🙂
Click to expand...
I am also eternally grateful to God it ended now and not later, after we were married. Praise God for that! It would have been immensely worse otherwise. The splitting up is actually not the thing I’m really struggling with, it’s my feelings for someone else. Basically it is very complicated for too many reasons. It is like God is bringing all of my life itself, my whole story, to some kind of crescendo of pain. Which I cling to the hope of the resurrection afterwards. It sounds really dramatic but that is my experience right now. And I have not had a painless life, believe me, so it’s really intense basically.

I think that is a really great idea to ask what He wants me to learn from this and that I may indeed learn and grow in the way He wants me to. Thank you!
 
catharina said:
I can promise you this:
in all likelihhod, YOU ARE NOT JOB.
Click to expand...
Thank you,

That actually makes me feel a lot better. I basically was born into a really disturbing and evil situation and my whole life has been a series of those in some form or another, no I am not just in self pity it’s really just true, so I have often wondered if I was just meant to have bad things always happen to me, but consistently also hoped and desired that even if the first part of my life was a struggle, I could be grateful to struggle with Christ and then eventually one day have breakthroughs and new life. I hope it is the latter so I thank you for your support.
 
E_7 said:
[BIBLEDRB]Deuteronomy 31:8[/BIBLEDRB]

[BIBLEDRB]Psalm 36:3-5[/BIBLEDRB]

[BIBLEDRB]Proverbs 3:5-6[/BIBLEDRB]

Come, Holy Ghost, Sanctifier all powerful, God of love, Thou Who didst fill the Virgin Mary with grace, Thou Who didst wonderfully transform the hearts of the Apostles, Thou Who didst endow all Thy martyrs with a miraculous heroism, come and sanctify us. Illumine our minds, strengthen our wills, purify our consciences, rectify our judgments, set our hearts on fire, and preserve us from the misfortune of resisting Thine inspirations. Amen.

A very dear friend of mine told me “It is what it is, and may God bring a greater good out of it.”

The evil one is trying to deceive you, he is taking advantage of your situation. Here is when you should stick like a glue to God, and be faithful to Him. I remember this man who suffered for each and everyone of us, He died for us, He was in so much pain. People forget there is a man who had it worse and yet He was and is so loving and caring.

You can’t know what’s God’s plan for you, cuz you are just a human, so go and trust that He has a better plan for you, [BIBLEDRB]John 20:29[/BIBLEDRB]pray to move according to His Will, Trust Jesus and the rest will follow.

God bless,
E_7
Click to expand...
thank you for this.
 
Erine, there are several threads about suffering right now. I posted one today myself that you may want to check out. Several people had some good advice, such as, rather than ask God “why?”, ask Him “what do you want me to do now?”

I will be praying for you.
 
littlenothing said:
Erine, there are several threads about suffering right now. I posted one today myself that you may want to check out. Several people had some good advice, such as, rather than ask God “why?”, ask Him “what do you want me to do now?”

I will be praying for you.
Click to expand...
I’ve been doing that too…I think He wants me to wait, which is the hardest of all. Thank you for your prayers.
 
erine said:
I’ve been doing that too…I think He wants me to wait, which is the hardest of all. Thank you for your prayers.
Click to expand...
What you find hardest is most likely what you need most and what He has planned for you! Whenever you find yourself waiting, say a Hail Mary…or two or three! :>)
 
**These words often help me, I’d like to share them with you…

" When disappointments, difficulties, and failures come, do not let them frighten, sadden, nor discourage you. Do what you can to solve your problems intelligently, and if they are beyond your control, accept them as My will. As you were pleased when I sent you pleasant things, so too should you willingly accept any unpleasant things which I may send. Keep your eyes on the giver, not on the gift. See My love for you, My wisdom, and My eternal purpose for you. In all things, let Me direct your life."

I’ll keep you in my prayers.**
 
In my experience I’ve learned that trusting God is perhaps one of the hardest things in life to do. I have my own stories of that. But my advice to you is pray that God help you to trust. Remember that when God asks you to sacrifice and suffer he will repay you 100 fold.
 
Let me say this: God wants you to be happy and at peace. This does not preclude suffering and in fact can mean a great deal of suffering depending on how hard you cling to things that are not His will. But God wants you to be at peace and fulfilled in this life just as much as He wants you for His own in the next.

It’s just that our definition of happiness and fulfillment are quite different given humanity’s broken nature.
 
The_Bucket said:
Let me say this: God wants you to be happy and at peace. This does not preclude suffering and in fact can mean a great deal of suffering depending on how hard you cling to things that are not His will. But God wants you to be at peace and fulfilled in this life just as much as He wants you for His own in the next.

It’s just that our definition of happiness and fulfillment are quite different given humanity’s broken nature.
Click to expand...
But He reveals it to me so incredibly clearly that there can be no mistaking, when I am in prayer, yet the reality is…just completely messed up. If I had spent hours discerning and knew deep down this wasn’t God’s will, I would drop the issue but the pain comes from knowing His will and then feeling like I am completely losing my mind because nothing is happening. I have this fear that it is His will for me to totally have this experience of Him telling me His will about this and then have it all come to nothing, JUST so I can suffer more…which is impossible, because God is not a liar. But still, I fear there is a catch and that I am being punished for daring to hope for true love.

I know I need to trust God but I have this deep belief that every single person is going to be saved and taken care of except for me, on purpose, and that I exist only so other people can be taken care of but that I am expendable. This goes back to childhood, and I know it is a lie, and I’ve spent years asking to have it removed. Please pray this will be removed.

I am not trying to cling to my will, I am trying with my whole being to have my own will die and His will be done, and I am just terrified that He is setting me up so that I can suffer even more than I would have, had I never had dreams of love and happiness. I just have never seen anything work out in my life and I don’t know why this would be different. But I know that too is a lie from the evil one.

At any rate, I am increasing my devotion to St. Philomena greatly, and ask that all of you would pray for me to her for her intercession in this matter. I would ask also that you pray that any lies I have been told in the past about God and theology (I was told a lot of very evil things about the Lord by someone as a child, which is where these fears come from) would be healed and the truth take their place.

Thank you all for your help and prayers and replies.
 
Hi all,

I Just wanted to put a quick update here. Your prayers are working and I increased my devotion to St. Philomena by a lot. Today a miracle happened. I was prompted to go to confession over something I’d come to realize, though it wasn’t a mortal sin. I confessed it and the priest, who I had never met, went into an intense account of Jesus’ passion and love for me. Then without my asking he said he would do blessings over me. He prayed blessings and prayers of deliverance over me for 20 minutes, and I actually felt myself being healed and delivered. He promises to pray for me and my intentions and to offer sacrifices for me. I had never met him before and didn’t ask for any of these things. I am truly more full of hope than ever before right now and closer to the Lord than ever.

I thank you so much for your advice and prayers, and I suggest St. Philomena as a most powerful patron:)
 
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