So so hard

[Stylus]

My boyfriend wants to be a priest. He’s been thinking about it off and on since First Communion, he says and now after a retreat, he’s seriously thinking about it. I’m heartbroken- I really like him, I’d marry someone like him, but if God is calling him I wont be bitter and I wont discourage him by any means. I’m praying that he’ll find out soon what God wants of him…for his sake and for mine.

 

[jrabs]

Wow - can’t imagine being in your shoes. I’d be crushed too - but following God’s will is always the best for He knows what is best for you both.

 

[Quatsch]

Stylus:

My boyfriend wants to be a priest. He’s been thinking about it off and on since First Communion, he says and now after a retreat, he’s seriously thinking about it. I’m heartbroken- I really like him, I’d marry someone like him, but if God is calling him I wont be bitter and I wont discourage him by any means. I’m praying that he’ll find out soon what God wants of him…for his sake and for mine.

Hi Stylus,
You must be in a very difficult position, but I’ve got a few questions for you.
How long has your boyfriend been in the Church? I’m a new convert and have felt a desire from time to time to explore the possibility of priesthood. I have also heard that many new converts or people who have powerful renewals of their faith experience this desire. Has he spoken to a priest or someone currently going through seminary about this to learn more about it before he makes a decision? Doing this will not only help him make a wiser decision but it will also serve to help him know if his calling is real or perhaps a love-at-first-sight type of thing.

Either way, support him in his decisions. If you don’t, whether he decides to become a priest or not, there is the very real danger that he will resent you for your lack of support in such a special opportunity. I experienced this first hand when I tried to convince my ex-girlfriend to not go on an exchange in India this summer.

You are both in my prayers.

-Q

 

[Stylus]

He’s been in the Church his whole life- born and raised a very good Catholic man. He has talked to a spiritual advisor who told him not to go into the Marines which my boyfriend was thinking about. Well…he went into the Marines and is out now, thinking again about the priesthood.

 

[Della]

Stylus:

He’s been in the Church his whole life- born and raised a very good Catholic man. He has talked to a spiritual advisor who told him not to go into the Marines which my boyfriend was thinking about. Well…he went into the Marines and is out now, thinking again about the priesthood.

If I were you, I’d wish him well and go out with friends and let it be known you are free to date. This will do two things: first, it will take your mind off your loss and second, it will help your friend to jump on way or the other.

 

[Stylus]

I um…I don’t really have friends to go out with. I grew up kind of isolated.

 

[ElizabethAnne]

Stylus:

I um…I don’t really have friends to go out with. I grew up kind of isolated.

That’s a problem in and of itself. One should never be completely dependent on a significant other for social interaction.

 

[Stylus]

Well I don’t. It’s my conservative Catholic beliefs that repelled all my friends.

 

[Della]

Stylus:

I um…I don’t really have friends to go out with. I grew up kind of isolated.

Then cultivate some. Truly, there is no reason why your conservative Catholicism ought to isolate you to the point that you have no friends. Even so, go out and do things on your own, then. Just don’t depend on this one person for your personal happiness. No one, not even a husband can be responsible for that, only you.

 

[Quatsch]

Stylus:

I um…I don’t really have friends to go out with. I grew up kind of isolated.

I’m sorry to hear that, but it is very important that you have your own life before you even consider getting married. If your happiness is completely dependent on your boyfriend and you have no other friends to turn to, that is not a healthy relationship.

If your conservative Catholic views repelled your friends, then go somewhere where you can meet others who share your views. It will take many months to develop friendships, but it is crucial in everyone’s growing as a person, especially if you want to be mature enough to marry someone.

Blessings,

Q

 

[Alison]

I actually remember something similar that happened to someone else who is now a Priest. He was dating someone who really liked him. But he was contemplating religious life at the same time, yet may not have explicitly told his girlfriend. In any case, one day they were both at Mass and the Celebrating Priest stated that there was someone in the Church who was called to the Priesthood but was trying to ignore the call. After Mass, the couple (who were separated from each other during Mass) went to meet each other. Upon meeting, his girlfriend said that she knew that the Priest was referring to him (her boyfriend) when he was speaking about someone ignoring his call; to which he replied, “I know”. He is now a Priest.

A potential Priest or nun or wife, or husband must have the freedom to make their decision. We have to be careful not to hinder someone from pursuing their true vocation. I suggest not trying to avert him from the possibility of Priesthood. God bless.

 

[kage_ar]

Stylus:

Well I don’t. It’s my conservative Catholic beliefs that repelled all my friends.

We are to be a light to the world, and commanded not to hide that light. We are to be salt of the earth.

They are to know we are Christians by our love, and to see our good works and glorify our Father in Heaven…

Faith does not repel, it attracts - so - start shining. Reach out, smile - pray. Look at Mother Theresa or the Blessed Mother, and shine they way they did!